


The Angel's Apprentice

by Walter247



Category: Hellsing
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-03-11 00:36:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 12
Words: 62,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3309131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walter247/pseuds/Walter247
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One night on an assignment, Walter rescues a young woman. After discovering she has not been bitten he leaves her in the hands of doctors, expecting that death is right around the corner. Two years later she appears on the Hellsing Doorstep, with a request.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Rescue

 

**Chapter One:**

**Rescue**

**Walter’s P.O.V**

“Walter! Where the hell is Seras!?” Sir Integra slammed the phone into the receiver. Her eyes darted to me, jaw clenched into a snarl.

“I’m afraid that she and Captain Bernadotte have yet to return from the assignment that you gave them yesterday,” I informed her. She sat back in her chair, eyes narrowed. She opened her cigar case, taking one and cutting off the edge. I walked over to her, readying the lighter in my hand. I lit the end of her cigar which she then took a puff of and blew out smoke.

“Then I suppose that leaves us with one option. Are you up for an assignment, Walter?” She glanced up at me. It wasn't really a question.

“Of course sir.” I bowed. To think I would turn down such a rare opportunity?

"Good. After Alucard's last incident in Manchester I'd rather not send him alone. You'll be setting out immediately."

“Shall I notify Alucard?”

“No need,” his voice answered behind me. I turned to see Alucard walking through the wall. “Where are we headed, my master?” He looked at Sir Integra. I could tell by the grin on his face that he was just itching to tear something apart.

“Nottinghamshire,” she said simply, adjusting her glasses. “Two vampires are going on a killing spree. It's personal.” She handed him a photograph of a wall coated in blood with the word “Hellsing” dripping down.

' _classy...'_ vampires seemed to always have a flare for the dramatic.

“I'll be damned if I let them get away with such an insult.” She rose from her desk, her sword already in hand. “We leave now.” She made her way for the door. Alucard and I followed behind.

**Two hours later**

**Nottinghamshire**

Sir Integra led the way up the street where the police tent was stationed. She walked briskly past the guards. They had met her before and knew better than to interfere with us. We stood outside, waiting for our orders.

“So Walter, how does it feel to be heading into battle again?” Alucard smiled. I glanced at him, not saying anything at first. Finally I smiled, pulling my black gloves out of my pockets and sliding them on.

“It…” I paused still searching for the right words. “It excites me, sir.” I responded, flexing my wrist, letting the wires flow out, and then using them to snap a rock in half.

“Ah, how I have missed this! The Angel of death returns!” He laughed.

“Indeed.”

Moments later, Sir Integra emerged from the tent smoking her third cigar of the night. She stood her back to us.

“What are your orders, my master?” Alucard asked, his smile growing wider.

Sir Integra turned to face us. “Search and destroy, my servant,” She said with a hint of amusement in her voice. “As for you, Walter, you know what to do.” She smirked. “A half mile up the road there’s a white house. It’s number thirty-six. Do not let these monsters get away.”

“As you wish, Sir.” I bowed. Alucard began walking and I caught up with him. He didn’t speak once while we walked. I didn’t mind the silence. It wasn’t long before we came upon the house Sir Integra spoke of. We stopped at the end of the driveway. Alucard was the one who walked ahead of me and up the front steps. I followed him slowly. I could feel the excitement in me rising. It had been a long time since I’d fought anything. It was only two vampires. This would be child’s play.

“Are you ready Walter?” He pulled out both his guns. I held my left hand to my mouth and pulled the wires forward.

“Of course… this might actually be fun!” I smiled.

Alucard reached for the door handle, opened it and stood to the side. “After you, Angel.”

“It would be my pleasure.” I stepped into the main hall. The air was thick with the smell of blood. They were here, I could feel it. I walked down the hall into what I assumed was the living room. My eyes widened at what was before me. “Alucard…we have an…unexpected development.” I stood aside for him to see.

“What, are they already de-” He didn’t finish his sentence. In front of us was a young woman strapped to a chair. She wore the remnants of a night gown. Her hands were bound and she appeared to be dead. She had been brutally tortured; she was coated in blood with two gun shots in her legs. I began to approach her.

“She’s dead Walter.”

“Let’s just make sure. We don’t want a ghoul sprouting up out of nowhere!” I knelt beside her and placed two fingers to her neck. “She’s alive! She has a pulse!” I looked back at Alucard.

“Check for a bite mark. If she’s clean, get her the hell out of here. Otherwise, dispose of her.” His red eyes were cold as always. Alucard moved back into the hall and went up the stairs to the second floor. I moved her long, black hair aside, searching her neck. I checked her arms, her torso, and her legs. There was nothing. It was almost a shame. Poor girl would be better off dead than in her current state. I severed the binding on her arms and legs and picked her up, letting her head rest on my shoulder. Suddenly, I heard gun shots coming from the second floor, followed by screams of agony.

‘So much for the fun!’ I thought. The girl's eyes flickered open and she winced in pain.

“W-who are you?” she squeaked out. Her eyes were sapphire blue, but almost lifeless.

“Don’t talk, you’ve lost a lot of blood. I’m going to get you out of here.” I walked down the hall and pushed the door open with my shoulder. I looked down at her again. Tears were streaming down her face. Her eyes were growing duller by the second. “Stay awake! You have to stay awake!” Police cars had gathered around the house as well as an ambulance. Sir Integra was waiting. She dropped her cigar and looked shocked. “A survivor! Sir Integra we have a survivor!” I shouted as I made my way down the front steps.

“Don’t just stand there you idiots, help him!” she yelled at the cops. They hollered for paramedics and they rushed over to me, carrying a stretcher. They took the girl from me and placed her on the stretcher. Sir Integra approached me. “Has she been turned into a vampire?” she asked.

“I searched her, ma’am. There were no bite marks that I could see,” I assured her.

“Go with them. If she turns, we’ll have to take her in.” She watched as the girl was placed into the ambulance.

“Are you sure, sir?” I understood her reasoning, but I wasn’t exactly itching to go to a hospital with a half dead girl.

“Just go, Walter. We can manage one night without you. The world won’t end.” She laughed. She started walking towards Alucard, who was gliding down the street with a large smile on his face that was always there after he’d recently slaughtered something. I turned back, looking at the ambulance and sighed.

‘I’m getting too old for this…’

An officer approached me. “Mr. Dornez, if you follow me I’ll be the one to drive you to the hospital.” He led me to the cop car, and opened the door to the back seat. I ducked in and sat there as the cop got in and started driving. We arrived a while after the ambulance. A few hours after arriving, a nurse approached me.

“Is she alive?” I asked, glancing up at her for only a moment.

“For now…the doctors say there’s a 5% chance.” I sat there, thinking.

“Do you have a name?” I asked after a period of silence.

“Not that I am aware of.”

I stayed quiet after that. When morning came, she was out of surgery, but still in critical condition. She was alive, but barely. If she was a vampire she would be awake and healing from her wounds much faster. This girl was still human and dying. I informed Sir Integra of the situation and she ordered my return. She’s wasn’t a vampire, meaning she was no longer our problem. I stood over her, the heart monitor steadily beeping in the background. “I am sorry, my dear. I have done you a great disservice. I do not ask for your forgiveness, but hope that your suffering doesn’t last much longer.” I thought about killing her right there and then, but I ignored it. I turned and walked out the door, leaving the hospital and the girl behind.


	2. Miss Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Rome, Father Anderson receives an unexpected visitor.

**Chapter 2:**

**Miss Love**

**Two Years Later**

**Rome, Italy**

**Father Anderson’s P.O.V.**

                “Ah, what a wonderful day!” I said, strolling down the walk way in front of the orphanage. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky and a lovely breeze was blowing. Who could ask for a nicer afternoon. As I reached the end of the walk way two of the children ran up to me.

                “Father, Father!” Jacob stopped a moment to catch his breath.

                “Jacob my boy!  Oh, and Luca as well.  What is it you need?” I knelt down and put my hands on their shoulders.

                “There’s a lady here to see you!” Jacob exclaimed.

                “She’s in a wheelchair!” Luca pointed to the walkway leading up to the orphanage. I looked up and saw a young woman with long, black hair wheeling herself up the cobblestone path. I placed my hands on their heads and turned them back towards me.

                “It’s not polite to stare, boys. Now then, return to your studies. I’m sure Heinkel is looking for you. I’ll go speak with our guest.” I sent them off and once they were out of sight I refocused on the young lady making her way towards the front entrance. I began walking to meet her. When she reached the stairs, she stopped and looked up at the building. When I approached her, she didn’t seem to notice me, almost like she was in a trance.

                “What can I do for you, my dear?” I finally spoke up. She flinched, startled. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to frighten you. The children said you were looking for me.” With that, her face lit up.

                “Ah, you must be Father Alexander Anderson!” She smiled and turned to face me. She spoke with a pleasant English accent. She extended her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I shook her hand.

                “May I ask your name, young lady?”

                “Oh, yes of course, my name is Melody Love.” She moved her hair behind her ears. “I have a few things I need to ask you about.”

                “Alright, shall we go inside and talk?” I offered.

                She nodded. “Yes… I think that would be best,” her words became softer. She stared up at the orphanage. There was something that she had on her mind. . I walked around her and placed my hands on the handles of the wheelchair. “Oh, um, thank you… I’m still not quite used to this thing yet.” She looked back and gave me a pained smile. When we reached the stairs I turned her around and lifted her up the five steps. I opened the door and continued to wheel her towards my office, she remained quiet.

                When we reached my office, I moved her into the middle of the room and walked to my desk, sitting down and folding my hands. Out of the bright sunlight I could see her more clearly. She had long, black hair that went down to her waist. She was wearing a white sundress and bore a jeweled cross around her neck. She also had a small bag over her shoulder. Her dress revealed the scars the covered most of her body. This young woman had clearly seen things she was not meant to.

                “So… Miss Love, what is it? You’re from England, correct? I’m sure you wouldn’t have come all this way if it wasn’t important.” I ended the silence.

                The smile that had been on her face disappeared and she sighed. “I started to hear your name a little less than a year ago. It gets tossed around a lot back home, actually. Angel’s dust, right? The Iscariot organization, section XIII, neither you nor this part of the Vatican officially exist, but I suppose you’d say the same for vampires, wouldn’t you?”

                 “Just who are you?” I asked calmly, slowly rising from my desk.

                “I told you, my name is Melody Love. Now if you don’t mind, Father, please relax. I’m here for information, not to start a war.” She smiled.

                “Are you human?” I looked her over again. She looked human, but I knew better, assumptions get people killed. She looked puzzled by my question. I took another look at her eyes. They were a bright blue.

                “Of course.” She tilted her head to the side. “You think I’m a vampire? Sorry to disappoint you, but I’m very human. I’m a survivor of a vampire attack… That’s why I’m here.”

                I sat back down, relieved, but not yet ready to let my guard down. “The Lord has blessed you with a second chance at life, my dear. Revenge is not a wise use of your time.”

                “No, you misunderstand me, Father. The monsters that did this to me are long dead.”

                “Then why have you come here?”

                “I was rescued by a man whose name I don’t know. I want to find him.” She leaned forward.

                “Do you have any clues?” I adjusted my glasses. Although clues or not was no guarantee I could help.

                “Yes, I have two clues. The first one is a word. I don’t know if it’s a group or just a name, but it’s the only information the nurses would give me. Does the word ‘Hellsing’ mean anything to you?”

                I frowned. “Yes…” I paused. _‘Leave it to those bloody Protestants to leave behind this God-damned mess…’_ Her face lit up, and for the first time this meeting her smile looked genuine. “Please don’t get the wrong idea, Miss. I know who they are, but I can’t do much to help you. We don’t exactly see eye-to-eye.  You understand?” ‘ _And that’s putting it lightly,’_ I thought to myself. “They are the Royal Protestant Knights. They take care of vampires that sprout up in England, but they’re a dangerous bunch. You’d do well to avoid them.” I leaned back in my chair. Her smile had faded once again. She looked down, her eyes hidden by her bangs.  “To be honest, I’m surprised they let you go. That damn woman must be going soft.”

                “Can you tell me anything else about them?” She asked, still looking down.

                “The one you’re after is no man. He’s a vampire called Alucard.” I explained. She looked up with wide eyes.

                “He hunts his own kind?” She asked in disbelief.

                “Yes, the great, 'domesticated' vampire. I’ve had the displeasure of fighting him on several occasions. He is not to be messed with. He always wears a red coat and hat with orange sunglasses. Does that sound familiar?”

                She shook her head. “No, that’s not him.” She took her bag off her shoulder and pulled out a piece of folded paper. “This is the only other clue I have.” I got up from my desk, took the paper from her and unfolded it. It was a fairly detailed drawing of an older man. Probably in his sixties.  He had black hair and wore a monocle in his left eye.

                “This is very detailed for a man you’ve only seen once,” I noted, walking back to my desk and sitting down.

                “When you see someone in your dreams every night, you start to remember their face.” She laughed, embarrassed. I looked the picture over again.

                “I recognize him,” I said flatly after a few minutes. A look of pure happiness spread across her face. “I don’t know his name, but I’ve seen him with the woman whom Alucard calls master; Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Wherever she is, he will be with her.” I placed the drawing on my desk. “That’s all I know.” I expected her smile to fade again, but it didn’t.  

                “Thank you Father! You have no idea what this means to me!” She was practically beaming with joy. I couldn’t help but smile.

                “Of course my dear, but if you don’t mind me asking what will you do now? Hellsing is not exactly a very welcoming organization to strangers.”

                To my surprise she smiled, but it wasn’t same as before. “Well…” She looked me directly in the eyes. “You have connections, Father Anderson. You wouldn’t mind helping me, would you?”

                As she spoke, I started to feel dizzy.  Everything was growing fuzzy. I stood up, but didn’t feel myself do it. “That would be no problem at all,” I heard myself speak, but didn’t feel my lips move.

                “Fantastic!” With that, everything went black.

 

**One Month Later**

**London, England**

**Sir Shelby Penwood’s P.O.V.**

 

                “Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, gentlemen.” The young woman who sat before us smiled, beside her stood a member of the Iscariots; Father Alexander Anderson. I hadn’t the faintest idea as to what Hugh was thinking, letting that monster in here, but something wasn’t quite right about him. He stared off into space, answering to no one expect the young lady in front of us. The woman looked up at Anderson. “Father, you should go back to Rome. I’m sure the children are waiting for your return. Thank you for everything that you’ve done.” He nodded, turned, and left without a word. Once he was gone, I felt a little more relaxed. The woman turned her head to face me once again.

                I was the first to speak up. “I’m sorry, miss, but what was your name again?” I asked, the nervousness I was feeling coming through my voice more than I would have liked.

                “My name is Melody Love. It’s an honor to make your acquaintance, Sir.”  She bowed her head slightly.               

                Hugh spoke up after me. “I’m afraid that Sir Penwood and I are the only two who will be attending this meeting. I do hope you understand.”

                She waved her hands. “No problem at all!”

                “You said over the phone that this had to do with Hellsing. I invited Sir Integra herself, but she got wrapped up in an investigation.  She has asked us to convey any information to her.” Hugh folded his hands.

                “That’s rather unfortunate, but I’m sure the two of you will be more than capable of helping me.” She pulled a piece of paper out of her jacket pocket. “I’m searching for a man who, according to Father Anderson, works for the Hellsing organization.”   

                Hugh looked at me. “Oh, yes, of course!” I scrambled to my feet and approached Miss Love. She handed me the paper and I returned to my seat so I could show Islands. I unfolded the paper to see a drawing of Integra’s butler. “Damn, what’s his name…?” I mumbled. Hugh took the paper from me.

                “Walter C. Dornez.” He placed the drawing in front of him, and looked up at Miss Love, who had the biggest smile on her face.

                “That’s his name then?!” She exclaimed. “His name is Walter?!”

                “Yes…” Hugh nodded. “He’s the butler for the Hellsing organization…” He paused. “What is your connection to him, Miss Love?”

                She continued to smile, but lowered her head and began staring at her feet, looking almost nostalgic. “He saved my life,” She finally spoke after a moment or two. “I owe him the world. I may not be able to walk anymore, but I am alive thanks to him. I’m sure he doesn’t remember me, but I want to meet with him, thank him in person, Please, I’ll do anything!” She pleaded, looking us both in the eyes. “Let me meet with him…please…”

                I felt a little dizzy all of a sudden, but before I could say anything, Hugh picked up the phone in front of him and began dialing.

                “I will request a meeting with Sir Integra,” He said as the phone rang.

                “Thank you, Sir Hugh. I am so beyond grateful.” She smiled.

 

**The Next Day**

**Hellsing Headquarters**

**Walter Dornez’s P.O.V**

 

                It had been about 24 hours since Sir Integra received a call from Sir Hugh Islands asking for a meeting. Apparently, there was someone who needed to meet with me. I hadn’t the slightest clue as to who it could be. According to Sir Hugh, they were human, which was even more confusing. At first I didn’t understand Sir Integra’s reasoning for agreeing to this meeting, but she explained it as ‘ _If they would really go so far as to track down the Round Table Conference members, it has to be important.’_ Though I was starting think she might just be bored.

                I walked into Sir Integra’s office, my footsteps echoing in the large room.

                “Ah, Walter, Sir Penwood has just arrived with the person you’re supposed to meet with. They’re in the next room,” She informed me and went back to discussing something with Sir Penwood, who was standing in front of her. This didn’t seem like a good idea at all. What had gotten into all of them? Why would I meet with someone without knowing a name or why they’ve come, but that wasn’t my decision to make. I bowed and walked back down the hall, and into the room on my right.

                I turned to face them, only to have my heart stop. It was impossible to not recognize her. The woman sitting in a wheel chair wearing the white shirt and plaid skirt was without a doubt the young woman I rescued during an investigation two years ago. 

                My mind went blank. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought she could have survived. I only managed two words “You’re alive…!”

                She flinched at the sound of my voice and turned slowly to meet my eyes. Her lips parted like she wanted to speak, but she said nothing. She shook her head and a smile spread suddenly across her face.

                “I-I never thought this day would actually come.” She looked as though she might cry.  “I searched for you for two years! I never thought I’d actually find you!”

                “How…?” I asked. “You should be dead.”

                She looked shocked. She placed her hand over her heart. “A miracle, I suppose.”

                “Forgive me,” I added. Though it was true that by all logic she should be dead that was not the kindest thing to say. “I’m rather shocked is all.”

                “That’s all right,” She disregarded it with a wave of her hand.

                “What is your name, Miss?” I asked her.

                “Melody Love.” She beamed.

                “You’re…paralyzed…”

                Her mouth drooped into a frown, her eyes fell to her legs. “The doctor told me I’d never walk again, but it was four months after the attack that I started to regain some feeling in my legs.”

                “That is quite miraculous!”

                “NO!” She shouted, catching me off guard. “I’m sorry, but this is anything but a miracle. I could have lived with the paralysis, I really could! At least I’d be alive, but no!” She covered her face with her hands, shaking her head back and forth. She let out a deep sigh. “I have a confession to make, Mr. Dornez.” She held her hand to her eyes and removed what I assumed were contacts before looking at me again with fiery red eyes.  

                Every muscle in my body tightened. A vampire, I should have known… but this made no sense. There had been no bite marks, she hadn’t turned, she should be walking. The hell was going on?

                “You’re confused. If you’ll put those wires away I’d be happy to explain.”

                How did she know I use wires? I retracted them into my hand. I didn’t know what her game was but she didn’t look all that powerful. I could take care of her at any time.

                “You weren’t mistaken, Walter. I was still human that night. I was still human for four months afterwards in fact. After picking up the pieces and going nowhere in physical therapy I wanted to give up, went to visit my parent’s grave. There was a man waiting for me there. A friend of the vampires you and your friend, oh what’s his name? Alucard?- killed.”

                “What became of him, the one who turned you?” I asked.

                “He’s dead. I killed him myself!” She answered, “What I lack in healing I make up for in my persuasion.”

                “So that’s how you got this far.” The pieces were starting to fit together. “You brainwashed Sir Penwood, but that can’t be the only person who helped you. Who else?”

                 “Father Alexander Anderson.” She smiled.

                “So you used Father Anderson to find the conference members and you used Sir Penwood to find me?”

                “Bingo!”

                “How many other have died since you turned?”  I asked

                “Well according to the papers that have circulated in the past two years the only suspicious death have been an unidentified male and Melody Love,” she answered, leaning on right hand.

                “You faked your own death,” I concluded.

                “You say that like I had any other choice. What was I supposed to do, go on living a human life? It was only recently that I’ve been able to go out in day light,” she sighed. “A monster or not why would I kill people if I don’t have to?”

                Silence hung in the air for some time after that. How to process what she had told me? There had to be something I could say. “Why have you come here, Miss Love? Have you come to try and kill me?”

                She stared at me for a moment and then burst out laughing. “Me, kill you!?” She leaned forward. “No!  Why on earth would I want to kill you?” she wiped a tear out of her eyes “Walter…I’m here to thank you.” She smiled. It was sincere and kind. I was more confused than ever. Why would she want to thank me?

                “You might say it’s my fault you became this…” I reminded her.

                She simply smiled and shook her head. “No, you are the reason why I have a second chance at life. As much as I detest what I have become, I cannot hate you Walter. I owe you everything. With that in mind, I have a request.”

                I raised an eyebrow. “And that would be?”

                “Walter, will you please take me on as your apprentice!?” She bowed her head. She was serious. I could tell by the way she was shaking. She was nervous. I didn’t answer her right away. I looked her over. She was in a wheelchair. How much could she really do? It wasn’t really up to me, anyway. Sir Integra would have the final say.

                “No…” I finally answered. “I can’t do that, Miss Love. You can’t walk. Without your legs, I’m afraid that you won’t be much help to us.” I watched her; she was shaking, holding back tears. She finally looked up at me, scowling. She gripped the handles on her chair, and with shaking arms, looked like she was trying to force herself to stand up.

                “Stop!  You’re just going to hurt yourself!” I pleaded with her.

                “Be quiet!” She yelled. “I can do this!” Slowly but surely, she started to rise. Her legs were shaking. “I will prove to you that I’m not useless!” She took one step. She grabbed on to the table that was beside her and took another step with her left leg. I didn’t know what to say. She was doing it. Slowly, she would take a step and move her hand along the table. It had to hurt, but she kept going, slowly making her way towards me. A red tear escaped her left eye. She finally reached me, her legs were shaking and her white shirt was spotted with bloody tears.  She was a short girl. No taller than five feet.

                I placed my right hand on her shoulder. “That’s enough, Miss Love…” I picked her up, which surprised her. I carried her back to her wheelchair and placed her back in it. “I’ll speak with Sir Integra and see if we can’t work something out.” I smiled. “Now then, you’re going to get your shirt all bloody if you keep this up.” She looked away from me, embarrassed. She used her hand to wipe away the blood, staining her hand.

                I walked around her and wheeled her into Sir Integra’s office where she was waiting. “Just let me do the talking.” I whispered. She nodded.

                “So I take it you two have talked. I have to say, I was surprised when you arrived here. I thought you were long dead. Your name is Melody, correct?”

                “Yes Sir!” Miss Love responded nervously. Sir Integra looked up from her paperwork and narrowed her eyebrows.

                “You’re a vampire?” She had noticed her eye color.

                “Yes Sir. I was turned four months after the incident.” She explained. Sir Integra pulled out a cigar and lit it, taking a puff and blowing out smoke.

                “So what have you come here for, Melody? Is it revenge?” She took another puff of her cigar.

                “No Sir. I…” She trailed off and looked back at me.

                “Well? Go on, I haven’t got all day.” She was intimidated by Sir Integra, I could tell.

                “Sir Integra, Miss Love has requested that I, with your permission, take her on as my apprentice,” I spoke for her. She raised an eyebrow.

                “Is this true, Melody?” She smiled

                “Yes Sir,” she responded quickly. Sir Integra sat there for a moment or two, then pressed her cigar into the ash tray on her desk.

                “You’re a vampire, yet you’re unable to walk. Why is that?” She asked.

                “I have very poor healing abilities, Sir. I can only walk short distances at this moment, Sir.”

                “Show me,” Sir Integra ordered. Miss Love was already exhausted from walking across the last room and here she didn’t have anything to hold on to. There was no way she could pull that off. She wasn’t ready for it.

                “Sir Integra, there’s no need for that. She proved to me that she can walk just a moment ago,” I noted.

                “I don’t care. I didn’t see it, so she will do it again.” She rested her head on hands. There was no way she could do this.

                “Walter…?” Miss Love looked back at me. “Have a little faith in me.” She smiled. It took me a moment to realize that she had read my mind. She slowly raised herself from the wheelchair, legs already shaking, but she was standing again. She took the first step with her right foot and then her left. She let go of the handles and stood free from any supports. Slowly, step by step, she made her way towards Sir Integra’s desk. When she was halfway there, she tripped and fell, landing hard on the floor.

                ‘ _That’s it_ …’I thought. ‘ _It’s over’,_ but she pushed herself back to her feet and within five minutes, had reached the desk. She placed her hand on the wooden surface, breathing heavily and clearly exhausted.

                “Very good…” Sir Integra smiled. “Alright Melody, I’ll cut you a deal!” She sat back in her chair and pulled out another cigar.

                Miss Love stood up straight and answered confidently. “Yes Sir.”

                “I want you back on your feet permanently in no more than four months. You need to be able to run if you want to work for me. At the end of those four months, you will run a lap around the entire estate. Do that and I’ll let Walter take you on as his apprentice. Do we have a deal?” She held her hand out. Miss Love took it.

                “You’re on!”


	3. What We Have to Fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been four months. The time for Melody to be put to the test is quickly approaching. Walter finds himself asking question not only about Miss Love but for himself.

**Chapter 3**

**What We Have to Fear**

**Hellsing Headquarters**

**Walter Dornez’s P.O.V**

 

                 

                Two months had passed since the arrival of Miss Love. She was making progress much faster than any of us had anticipated. We quickly figured out that her lack of regeneration ability may in part be due to her not drinking blood for nearly two years. She was still having bad days where she could barely stand, but I was starting to believe she could actually do it. If she could learn to walk again, then I would have an apprentice, someone who I could teach my style of fighting to. I wouldn’t-

                It was Miss Love’s sudden screams that broke me from my thoughts. I ran down the hall and burst into her room. She was having nightmares again. I sat on her the edge of her bed and placed my right hand on her shoulder, shaking her.  Sometimes it took a few tries to wake her, but this time her eyelids flew open right away. She sprung up from her bed and threw her arms around me, holding on to me as tight as she could. This had been a bad one.

                More often than not, she would see me and push me away, thinking I was an attacker, but not this time. She was clinging to me, terrified and breathing in short gasps. Within a few seconds, she seemed to come back to her senses and let go.

                “Walter I…” She looked away. “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to-“

                I shook my head and stood up. I walked over to the window and parting the curtains to glance out at the yard. We were on the second floor, her room was right beside mine.

                “What was it this time?” I asked. “Memories from two years ago?”

                “No.” She brought her knees to her chest. “It was different.” I waited for her to continue but she didn’t. I turned to face her.

                “Try and go back to sleep, Miss. You have another long day ahead of you.” I turned to leave.

                “Wait, Walter!” She called me back. “Would you mind staying just a little longer?”

                I sighed. I was exhausted, but a few minutes couldn’t hurt. I walked back into the room and stood by the window. This was unusual. She had never asked me to stay before. She usually insisted that I leave once she pulled herself together. The nightmares typically caused her to be angry, not frightened.

                “This is pathetic,” she muttered, visibly upset even in the poorly lit room. “Who’s ever heard of a vampire that has nightmares?”

                I had to admit that it had never occurred to me that vampires had dreams, let alone nightmares. After all, what could a vampire possibly be afraid of?

                 She looked up at me. The expression on her face suggested that she had heard my thoughts. It was a bad habit of hers.

                She placed her head on her knees and stayed silent for a minute or two before saying, “Being alone.” 

I found it hard not to smile. “That’s a rather human fear, Miss.” I expected her to be angry from that comment, but instead she laughed.

                “I suppose you’re right…” She grinned. “Although you’re human and I can’t imagine you being afraid of anything.”

                “We all have fears, Miss…” I said plainly. She looked surprised by this and tilted her head to the side, but then she smiled. Something that I had said interested her.

                “Oh really?” Her red eyes seemed to flash a bit brighter “Now what on earth could the great Walter C. Dornez, The Angel of Death, have to fear?”

                I sighed. “You’ve been listening to Alucard’s stories, then?”

                “Maybe…” She said playfully. I had two options, tell her or let her read my mind. As I had found out over the last month, manipulating people using their thoughts and persuasion was something she thoroughly enjoyed. It was indeed a reminder that she was no longer human. “It’s alright.” Her smile became more kind and sincere. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

                She was more than likely just saying that, but part of me believed that she was being serious. I stared at her and was quiet for a long time. She yawned and stretched, lifting her arms above her head.

                “I’m sorry for keeping you up, Walter. You really shouldn’t have to put up with me, but I have to admit I’m glad you do. You should get some sleep. Good night, Walter and… thank you for staying with me.” She laid down and pulled up the blankets.

                 “Being forgotten…” She opened her eyes wide and sat back up. She stared at me. “I am afraid of being forgotten,” I repeated.

                “That’s… absurd,” she said in a hushed voice.

Of course it was. I never should have said anything. Now I simply felt foolish. She frowned and moved her legs over the edge of the bed, pushing herself up. Once she got her balance, she started to limp towards me. “Why on earth would you think something like that?” She stood in front of me and unexpectedly put her arms around me. I didn’t know how to respond. I just stood there. “I wish you could understand how important you are to me. I turned England upside down to find you. I tracked down monsters and the Iscariots because I couldn’t forget your face. I will not fail this test that Sir Integra has given me. I’ll be your apprentice and you will never be forgotten. I will make sure of that.”

                It truly was the kindest thing anyone had ever said to me. For a few brief seconds, I hugged her back. “Thank you,” I whispered. She stepped back and gave a childish grin.

                “I think I’m going to stay up. If I go back to sleep, you’ll just end up having to wake me up again.” She sighed, looking at the clock on her desk. It was only 1:00 in the morning. “Maybe I’ll go find Alucard and get him to tell me another story about you and your Nazi-killing adventures!”

                “I think not, Miss.” I picked her up.

                 “Put me down! You know I hate being picked up!” She glared at me. I placed her on her bed.

                “Go to sleep, Miss.” I smiled and started to walk to the door.

                “You know I can just get back up again. I’m not completely helpless anymore.” She was being childishly stubborn again.

                “Allow me to put it differently, then. Go to sleep, that’s an order.”

                She folded her arms, but instead of protesting she laid down. “Yes sir.” I was rather surprised that it had worked, but certainly wasn’t complaining. I left her room and remembered that I still had something I had to do before I would be able to go to bed. Alucard had asked me to take a look at the pistol that I had made for him a while back. It had jammed the other night on an assignment.

                I found him sitting in a room on the second floor, staring out a window. He heard me coming and turned his head to look at me.

                “Good evening, Walter. You’re up late tonight.” He smirked. “Was that apprentice of yours keeping you up again?”

                “She’s not my apprentice yet,” I noted.

                He nodded and pulled his pistol out of his jacket. “Perhaps, but you certainly had no issues giving her an order a few moments ago.”

                I took the gun from him and placed it on the table. I tried to not show how anxious it made me to know he had been listening to our conversation. “The both of you have a rather nasty habit of hearing things you shouldn’t.”

                ”Yes, but unlike me, she doesn’t do it on purpose,” he said flatly.

                “She’s a master manipulator; of course she does it on purpose.” I began taking apart his gun. “Speaking of Miss Love, she said something rather curious a few moments ago.”

                “Did she now?” he looked back at me.

                “Yes she mentioned something about you telling her about our assignments back in World War II.” I quickly found the problem and fixed it. I began putting his weapon back together.

                He laughed. “Does that bother you?”

                “Perhaps you should tell her about yourself instead,” I answered and handed him his gun.

                “She has no interest in me, Walter. In her words, she finds me _‘dull’.”_ He looked the weapon over before placing it inside his jacket. “She finds me boring and uninteresting, but you on the other hand she adores. You have failed to notice that not once has Melody tried to use her powers of persuasion over you. She doesn’t _want_ to read your mind.”

                “And just how do you know this?”

                He let out a deep sigh and took off his sunglasses. “Simple observation, her face lights up when you enter the room.  When I tell her the stories about you, she sits there, hanging on every word like a small child being told their favorite bed time story. In a word, she idolizes you.” He twirled his sunglasses around his fingers.

                I knew that she enjoyed being around me, but I had never considered that perhaps this was an attitude reserved for me alone. “I assumed she was always that happy and energetic.” I leaned against the table.

                He laughed again. “She might as well be a different person, Walter. She’s sarcastic, angry and bitter. Ah, yes, she reminds me so much of that punk-ass kid you used to be!”

                “I have to disagree, sir.” I was getting annoyed.

                “Oh please! You were angry with everything and everyone. The only person you would listen to was Arthur, and even he tested your patience on a regular basis. You two are painfully similar.”

                He was just trying to irritate me at this point. I was tired and out of patience. I went to stand up straight when a sharp pain shot through my shoulder and I fell back against the table.

                Alucard noticed. “Is your shoulder hurting you again?” he asked, getting up from his chair.

                “No, I’m quite alright, thank you,” I lied.

He sighed and shook his head, not buying it for a second. “You’re getting old, Angel of Death. You know my offer still stands?” He held his hand out like he was trying to help me, but I knew better than that. He would offer me this choice every few years. To be perfectly honest, the older I got, the more tempting it became.

“I decline,” I answered cheerfully, standing up straight.

He looked puzzled by my response. “You almost accepted last time. What’s changed?” he demanded as I started making my way down the hall.

‘ _Everything.’_

 

* * *

 

                I only got a few hours of sleep that night. My alarm went off at 5:00AM and I went to wake up Miss Love at 6:00. To my surprise, she was already awake when I entered her room. She was laying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling.

                “Good morning, Miss. It’s time to get up.” I pulled open her curtains. It was cloudy out today. It looked as though it might rain.

                She sat up. “Good morning, Walter.” She looked at me and frowned. “You look exhausted. What time did you get to bed?” she asked as she tried to push herself on to her feet.

                “It was just before 2:00,” I responded. “And what about you, Miss?”

                “Oh, I fell asleep fairly quickly after you left.” She was trying to steady herself.

                “Any more nightmares?” I questioned.

                “No. I actually had a really pleasant dream for the first time in months.” She smiled.

                “That’s good. What was it about?”

                Her face flushed red and she looked away from me. “I don’t remember…” She quickly changed the subject. “So, why were you up so late?” She limped her way over to the closet.

                “Oh, so I’m supposed to tell you why I was up, but you won’t tell me about your dream?” I joked.

                Her face turned a deeper shade of red. “I already told you, I don’t remember what it was about! I would tell you if I did!” she yelled.

                “It was a joke, Miss.” I smirked.

                “I see…” She opened her closet and took out a shirt and a skirt, tossing them on to her bed. “Seriously, though, why were you up?” She put her hands on her hips.

                “Alucard had me fix one of his guns.” I watched as she walked over to her dresser and opened the top drawer.

                “That took you an hour? Good God, just how badly did he break it?” She pulled out a pair of underwear and a bra and walked back to her bed.

                “It only took me a few minutes to fix the gun. He wanted to chat for a while afterward.”

                “Interesting… um, Walter?  Can you turn around please?” she requested.

                “Of course.” I turned my back to her so she could get changed. I would have left, but she still had a tendency to fall quite a bit, so I was forced to stay with her.

                “What did he want to talk to you about?” she asked.

                “He mostly talked about you.” I waited to hear her make some sort of remark, but she didn’t. I thought about what else he had mentioned last night, but regretted it immediately.  She most likely heard that, but she didn’t say right away.

                When she finally spoke, her voice gave me slight chills. “How many times has he offered you that?”

                I was right.  She had heard my thoughts. “You need stop reading my mind, Miss,” I advised.

                “Only if you promise me that you’ll never accept that offer!” Uncomfortable silence hung in the air after that for what felt like an eternity. I didn’t speak. “Please…” she whispered. “Promise me you won’t ever give up your humanity.” I finally turned around. Her hands were clenched into fists, her whole body shaking. “You have to hold on to it with everything you’ve got!”

                She was being so serious, it was almost funny. It didn’t suit her. I smiled and walked over to her, placing my right hand on her head. “You can be so melodramatic sometimes, Miss.” This just made her angrier.

                “I’m not kidding around, Walter!” she growled.

                “I know you’re not, Miss, but there’s no need for such seriousness. I didn’t accept his offer and I never will. That is a promise not only to you, but to myself. You honestly think I would have gotten to this age if I wasn’t careful?”

                Miss Love looked down at the floor, before relaxing a bit. “I’m going to go for a walk.” She turned around and started limping towards the door.

                “It’s going rain soon, Miss,” I reminded her.

                “I know. It’s a beautiful day and I’d hate to let it go to waste.” She walked off.

                I sighed and went after her walking beside her. “You are hopelessly stubborn, Miss.” 

                “Been called worse I suppose.” She smirked.

                When we finally found ourselves outside it hadn’t started raining yet. Miss Love insisted that we didn’t need an umbrella, so despite my better judgment, I left it behind. It was a bit cold out, being only the beginning of April, but it didn’t seem to bother her in the slightest. We walked in silence for half a kilometer. I looked over at her to see her smiling to herself. I couldn’t help but wonder what she was thinking about. She kept tugging at the necklace she was wearing, which sported a cross.

                “Doesn’t it hurt to wear that necklace, Miss?” I asked.

                “Yes it does. It burns…” she said absentmindedly. She tugged back her shirt collar to show me the burn mark it was leaving on her skin.

                “You should take it off. There’s no reason to put yourself through that kind of torture.” I frowned.

                “No. This cross was my Mum’s. She never took it off. This cross is the heart of my family, I could care less about the pain.” Her smile became more forced and painful.

                This girl was such a mystery. One moment she was as vicious as Alucard, and the next she was more human than myself. Miss Love was a giant mess of contradictions that I could never quite seem to get right. 

                She noticed me staring at her and looked up at me, regaining her false smile. “What is it, Walter?” She tilted her head to the side. “If you’ve got something to say, just say it.”

I looked straight ahead. I wanted to understand this girl, my future apprentice. “I suppose I just have a few things I wonder about.”

                She clapped her hands together. “Alright-y then, fire away!”

                I took a moment to think about all the questions I had. I figured her family was as good a place as any to start. “So the necklace is your Mother’s, yes? I take it then you two were close?”

                I don’t think she had anticipated such a big question right off the bat. Her eyes widened and she shoved her hands in the pockets of her skirt. “No, not really…” Miss Love kept her eyes on the ground. “We had a rather large falling out during my first semester at university, and to be honest I’ve always been a Daddy’s girl at heart.” I took the hint that it was a touchy subject and moved on.

                “What kind of man was your Father then, Miss?”

                A look of nostalgia came over her. “Complicated,” she said simply. “My Dad was strange man. He was kind and loving, but had no trouble telling you what he thought. When things got bad he was the one who took the bullet. He never made any sense to me.”

                I laughed at that remark. “Yes, but then again, Miss, neither do you.”

                She looked confused. “How so?”

                “I can’t seem to figure you out, Miss Love. Every time I start to think I understand you, you manage to turn everything upside down. For example, you seem to enjoy manipulating people, yet I’ve been told you aren’t reading my mind on purpose. I don’t know how you do it to even begin with! Alucard has to consume blood to read a person’s mind, while you on the other hand, seem to be able to do it whenever you feel the need to.” I suddenly realized I was saying far too much.

                She lowered her head, almost looking ashamed. “Alucard has a big mouth.” She kicked a rock at her feet. “Do you know why, Walter?” She glanced up at me. I didn’t answer her. It sounded like a rhetorical question. “The manipulation is a bad habit, I’m well aware, but to survive in a world of monsters, sometimes you have to forsake a few morals.  You of all people should know that.  However, do not _ever_ assume that I enjoy it,” she said calmly. “I don’t understand how I read minds either, but I’ve learned how to block people out. I’d lose my damn mind if I didn’t, but you… you I can’t block out.” Her tone changed. “It's your thoughts!  They’re so loud! You keep everything locked up in that head of yours and it’s like-it’s like you're screaming!” She put her hands over her ears and closed her eyes. “Even now…”

                My thoughts raced to think of something to say to that, but that was only making it worse for her. “What would you have me do, Miss?”

                “Just… talk to me, Walter.  I know you’re used to keeping your thoughts and opinions to yourself, but you don’t have to do that around me. I don’t know if it will work, but if you try to be more open, maybe your thoughts will quiet down a bit.” She looked up at me nervously and was tugging on her necklace again. How long had she wanted to ask me this?

                That certainly was far outside what I was used to doing. Aside from last night, the most recent time where I spoke openly that I can recall was quite a few years ago, right after the Valentine brothers' attack. I had gotten angry with Sir Islands for accusing Sir Integra that the death of our soldiers was her fault and lashed out.

                The idea made enough sense, but I didn’t think I’d be much good at it. “I can’t make any promises… but I’m willing to try, I suppose.  However I do have one condition, Miss.”

                “Okay, what is it?” She looked up at me.

                “Alucard informed me last night that you don’t exactly get along with the other members of Hellsing,” I commented.

                She folded her arms. “That damn Nosferatu,” she mumbled.

                “My condition is that from now on, you must treat everyone else with the same respect you show me.”

                “Even Alucard?” she groaned.

                “Yes. I don’t think it will happen, but if you fail to pass Sir Integra’s test, he will be your master,” I explained. She started to quicken her walking pace, trying to fight the weakness in her left leg.

                “I will shoot myself first!” she exclaimed, pushing herself to walk even faster. Miss Love was certainly determined if nothing else. She stopped suddenly and held her hand out, looking up at the sky. “It’s raining,” she stated. I looked up as well and felt a drop hit my face. “We should head back…”

                “Agreed.” We turned around and started walking back towards the estate. We barely made it a quarter of the way there before it started to downpour. “Damn it!” I cursed. I grabbed Miss Love by her hand and started running. “Come on!”

                It didn’t occur to me that this was her first attempt at running until after we had gotten out of the rain.

                “Well, that was an adventure!” she said, trying to catch her breath as I closed the door behind us.

                Just then, a member of the Wild Geese walked by and stopped to stare at us, but focused on Miss Love and smiled. “Nice shirt honey!” He whistled. I looked over at her and saw that her bra was showing through her shirt. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to cover herself.

                “Don’t look at me, please…” she whimpered. “Please don’t look at me.”

                The mercenary just laughed and started to walk off. I flung my wires at him, aiming for his leg. They wrapped around his ankle and I pulled down slightly, yanking him to floor. Then I let go and let the wires return to my hand. I was already pissed off for getting caught in the rain, I would not stand for someone harassing my apprentice, or my future apprentice, or whatever the hell she was at this point.

                Miss Victoria entered the room at that moment and looked first at us, and then at the man on the floor. “Why is Brian on the floor?” she asked.

                “He tripped,” I said casually. She then focused on Miss Love and myself.

                “You two are soaked.” She walked up to us. She took a better glance at Miss Love, who looked absolutely humiliated, and frowned. “You alright Melody?” Miss Love shook her head no and tightened her arms around her chest. “Hold on, I’ll go get you a towel so you can cover up!” Seras turned to go.

                “That’s alright, Miss Victoria.” I took off my vest and put it over Miss Love’s shoulders. It wasn’t much, but hopefully it would keep her from getting unwanted attention. She looked up at me, surprised.

                “Thank you…” She pulled it closer. “This was my fault. I was the one who said we didn’t need an umbrella.”

                “No harm done, Miss.” I looked to Seras. “Miss Victoria, would you mind looking after Miss Love today? I have some business to attend to.” I shot a look at the man Miss Victoria had called “Brian” in the corner.

                “No, not at all…” She looked over at Brian as well, then down at Miss Love, appearing to have made the connection. They quickly made their way upstairs. I strode over to Brian. Years ago, I wouldn’t have hesitated to beat him senseless, but I restrained myself.

                “I’ll be having a word with your Captain about this incident.” I glared at him and left, walking up the stairs to get out of these clothes.

 

* * *

 

                The next two months went by quickly. Miss Love was able to start running regularly one week after the incident in the rain. As promised, I started to be more open about my thoughts with her and she made an effort to get along with other members of Hellsing. However, according to her, so far my attempts to quiet my thoughts have had minimal effect.

                She was having fewer nightmares now. Maybe one or two a week at most, but none of them seemed to be about her past anymore and she rarely cried out in her sleep. The only reason I even knew if she was still having them was that she would act rather strange for an hour or two the morning after.

                She and Miss Victoria had also developed something of a friendship. I’d sometimes hear them late at night in her room, talking and laughing about something. If she wasn’t with me, then chances were that she was with her.

* * *

 

               

It was 8:00 in the morning, the day of Miss Love’s test. She was pacing back and forth in her room.  She was tugging on her cross, which she did frequently as a nervous habit. “This isn’t good, Walter!” she said, panicking.

                “I’m sure that everything will be fine,” I assured her. Miss Love was talking about the current state of the weather. It was sunny out when the forecast had predicted clouds.

                “I can only last fifteen minutes out in the sun before I start to burn. Trust me, I’ve tested it plenty of times. I don’t know if I can make it all the way around the estate in fifteen minutes!” She pointed outside.

                “We just did a test run the other day, Miss, and you were able to finish in just under thirteen minutes,” I reminded her, but it was obvious that there was no reasoning with her in this state.

                “Yes, but what if something happens and I don’t run as fast as I did on Tuesday? What if-what if-aaaahhh!” She looked as though she was going to tear her hair out. There was a knock at the door. Miss Love didn’t seem to hear it and resumed pacing back and forth. I opened the door to find Miss Victoria standing there. She was holding a small box in her hand.

                “How’s she doing?” she asked, peering around me to try and see what was going on.

                “I’d say on the verge of a mental break down.” I stood to the side so she could see for herself.

                Seras nodded and looked up at me. “She’s just scared, that’s all. The weather has nothing to do with it. Let me see what I can do and we’ll meet you outside.” She smiled.

                “Thank you, I appreciate it.” I left the room, closing the door behind me.

                Twenty minutes later, Sir Integra, Captain Bernadotte, and myself were standing outside, waiting for them to show up. The longer she waited, the more painful the run would be. Maybe I should have stayed with her.

                Finally, they walked outside. Miss Love was wearing an old jacket that Miss Victoria used to wear when she had to go out in the sun. Seras walked beside her, talking to her, but I couldn’t make out what she was saying. Miss Love nodded and smiled, approaching us.

                “Are you ready, Melody?” Sir Integra asked, puffing on one of her cigars.

                “Yes, Sir!” Miss Love responded confidently.

                “Go on then, show me how wrong I was about you.” Sir Integra stepped back. Miss Love unzipped the jacket and handed it to Miss Victoria. Her hair was pulled back now with a red hair ribbon I’d never seen before.

                 “It would be my pleasure, Sir.” She bowed. She looked at me. “See you in a few minutes, Walter.”

                “See you in a few minutes, Miss.” I smiled. Miss Love turned her back to us and started running. When she was almost about to round the corner, Sir Integra looked up at me.

                “You think she can do it?”

                “Without a doubt.” I watched as she turned the corner. She had already successfully done this lap around the estate just the other day, but I was worried about the sun. She would get tired more quickly, slow down, and if she took more than fifteen minutes, she would start to burn up.

                Time ticked by quickly. As confident as I had felt only ten minutes before, I was starting to get anxious.

                Captain Bernadotte put his hand to his ear. “Hey, _mon cher_ , how’s our girl doing?”

                I was so deep in my thoughts that I hadn’t even realized that Miss Victoria had flown on top of the building and was watching Miss Love as she made her way around.

                “Excellent, I’ll let them know.” He took out his ear piece and turned to me with a smile on his face. “Melody should be coming around that corner any second now!”

                I looked straight ahead, watching closely, and sure enough, Miss Love rounded the corner moments later and was heading straight for us. When she saw me, she started to sprint as fast as she could.

                Sir Integra, who was standing beside me, laughed. “Congratulations, Walter.” She turned and started to walk away. “I want her battle-ready in two months.”

                “Of course, Sir.”

                Miss Victoria dropped down, landing beside me. She had the pink jacket in her hands ready to hand it to Miss Love the second she was close enough.

                She was coming at us full speed but skidded to a halt and stood in front of me. She bent over, hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath.

                “Well done, Miss.”

                She stood up straight and smiled from ear to ear. “Thank you, Master!” It took me a moment to remember that, that was my title now.

                Seras handed her the jacket which Miss Love quickly put on. “How about we move this conversation inside? The sun is starting to piss me off,” Miss Victoria suggested. The three of us hurried inside and then Miss Love shed the coat once again. Miss Victoria grabbed her hands. “Now then, tonight we celebrate you officially joining us! I’ll get the alcohol!” she exclaimed.

Miss Love turned her head to look at me with an expression that said ‘ _HELP ME!’_

“I’d have to advise against that. Miss Love starts training with me first thing tomorrow and we can’t afford to lose a day to a hangover,” I protested.

“You’re no fun, Walter!” Miss Victoria frowned.

“I’m simply doing my job, Miss.”

“Ugh. Fine, whatever. I’m going to bed.” She left and started making her way towards the basement.

When she was gone, I looked over to Miss Love, who looked relieved. “Thank you, Master. I didn’t know how I was going to get out of that one.” She laughed nervously. “I’m not exactly the most fun person to be around when drunk!”

I nodded. “I have to catch up on some work with Sir Integra today. You can have the day off, but be ready to hit the ground running first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, Master!” We walked up the stairs, but then headed in opposite directions.

 

* * *

 

The next morning, I woke up at 5:00 and was getting dressed when Alucard walked through the wall to my right.

“Good morning, Alucard.  Is something the matter?” I asked, tightening the tie around my neck.

“The police girl informed me that you and the girl are officially Master and servant. I’ve come to congratulate you.” He grinned.

‘ _She’s not my servant, she’s my apprentice, not that you’d ever know the difference!_ ’ I thought to myself, but simply nodded. “Thank you, sir.” I knew that couldn’t be the only thing he was here for, so I waited for him to continue.

“She really is a fascinating girl and she’s completely devoted to you. I’ve been trying to figure out why she chose you for a Master. Yes, you saved her life, but there’s something else…” He looked to me for answers.

I threw on my vest and buttoned it. “She was close with her Father, perhaps I remind her of him,” I said flatly.

“No, no, that’s not it.” Alucard shook his head. “I had considered that, but after I convinced her to tell me about him I’ve concluded that you are nothing like he was. No I’d almost say…” He trailed off, and then started to laugh to himself. “I’d almost say that she was in love with you.”

“Oh come now, don’t be absurd!” I scoffed. It was far too early to play these annoying little games of his. “I’m old enough to be her Grandfather, for heaven’s sake.” I put on my monocle and turned to face him.

He shrugged. “What does age matter to her? She’s dead!” He smirked.

“As if that makes the prospect any less ridiculous!” I glared at him. Alucard was simply trying to stir up trouble again. “Now if you’ll excuse me, Alucard, I have things to do,” I said harshly, eager to end this annoying conversation. He looked more amused by my anger than anything, but that shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise. Annoying me to the point of snapping has always been one of his favorite pastimes. “You should be going to bed soon, correct? The sun will be rising.” I walked out of my room, expecting that he would follow.

“Yes, I’ll be going to bed in a bit. I’ll take the long way this time.” He walked behind me.

“I’m going to wake up Miss Love,” I informed him, hoping that would change his mind.

“She’s already awake. The little girl was talking with my fledgling in her room last time I checked.” He yawned. “The girl was saying something about you, but it was far too boring to really pay attention.” 

I was only half-listening, but I did pick up on one thing. “So, that’s what you’ve decided to call her then?  _The girl_?” I asked. He had a thing for calling humans and other lesser creatures by nicknames. It was actually quite the compliment. It meant he thought you’d actually stick around and that he was no longer entertaining the idea of killing you in your sleep.

“Actually, it's _little girl…_ ” he corrected.

I was sure that if Miss Love ever found out about this choice of name for her, she’d hit the roof. If there was one thing she hated more than being picked up, it was being called short.

Almost as if on cue, I heard Miss Love’s voice call out behind me. “Good morning, Master!” Her voice sounded cheerful as usual.

“Oh, good morning Mi-“ I stopped mid-sentence when I turned around to face her. She was dressed the same clothes as myself. Vest, tie, gloves, we were almost identical with three exceptions. Although her hair was pulled back she kept her bangs in her face, her hair was being tied by the red ribbon from yesterday and obviously she wasn’t wearing a monocle. “Miss…?” I stared at her in shock.

She looked confused. “Yes, Master?”

“What in the name of sanity are you wearing?” I asked. Alucard, meanwhile, could no longer hold it in and began laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.

“Oh, that’s perfect!” he managed to get out between fits of laughter. “Just give her a fucking cigarette and a bad attitude and it would be flawless!” He was bent over, holding his sides.

Miss Love’s demeanor changed all most instantly. She scowled, her eyes turning from a soft cherry color to blood red. “How about you do us all a favor, Alucard, and piss the fuck off?” she hissed.

That was practically asking for a fight. I had to be ready to get between them if things got any more heated, but to my surprise, he simply shrugged. Alucard turned his back to her and started to walk away. “Good luck, Angel, good luck!” He looked back at me for a moment before fading into nothing.

When he was gone, I looked back at Miss Love, who had returned to her cheerful self as if nothing had ever happened. I refocused on the issue at hand. “Miss, would you care to explain your choice of clothes?” I asked awkwardly.

She tilted her head to the side and frowned. “You don’t like it?”

“Well you see it’s just that…” I couldn’t seem to find the right words. “I’m flattered, Miss, but don’t you think something more… feminine would suit you better?” I suggested, trying to be as polite about it as possible.

Her face turned noticeably red and she looked down at the floor. “Well, I guess I could talk to Sir Integra about it…” She glanced up at me, but was careful to avoid direct eye contact.

“I’m sorry, Miss, I don’t understand what you mean.”

Miss Love started tugging at her necklace again. “It was her idea to put me in these clothes, Master. She said now that I was your apprentice, I needed to dress properly.”

I was going to say that I doubted her story, but when I took a moment to think about it did seem like something she would do. When Sir Integra was a child, if I failed to spend time with her, she would often pull some sort of trick to make my life difficult. Before Miss Love showed up, I was rarely not by her side, but now…

The realization that this was one of her revenge tactics hit me like a ton of bricks. There would be no changing her mind, no matter what I did.

“Master…? Are you okay?” Miss Love asked, looking concerned, although I’m sure she could hear my thoughts loud and clear.

“Yes… I’m fine” I tried to pull myself together.

“Should I go talk with Sir Integra?”

“No, I don’t think there would be much point in that, Miss.” I sighed and started walking down the hall. Miss Love quickly followed, walking beside me _. ‘We have a lot of work to do…’_


	4. Sentiment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training in preparation for the first assignment is underway. Walter dreams of his childhood and his first moments in Hellsing.

**Chapter 4:**

**Sentiment**

 

**Walter Dornez’s P.O.V**

**London 1942**

 

 I kicked the guy into the wall behind him. He slid down onto the ground, coughing and gasping in an effort to get some air back in his lungs.

 “Had enough yet, mate?” I stood over him. He didn’t answer, just put his hand to his throat. I sighed, pulling out my box of cigarettes and lighting one. “You’re boring me. Just hand over the cash and we’re done here!”

 “I already told ya', I don’t have it yet! Just give me a few more days and I’ll get the money, I promise!” he pleaded.

 “Not happening. No questions, no negotiations, that’s how it works. We lent you the money and now it’s time to pay up.” I blew out smoke.

 “C’mon kid, be reasonable! This war has taken everything! ” He started to get back up on his feet. I kicked him in the gut, knocking him back down.

 “Cry me a fucking river, why don’t ya'? This war has taken everything from everyone!” I kicked him again. “I’m just the debt collector, mate. I don’t make the rules. You want more time? It’s gonna cost you!” My hand went for the knife on my belt.

 He started to panic, waving his hands in front of his face. “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! Please! Tonight, I’ll have the money by tonight!”

 I took out my knife and squatted down to eye level. I held the blade at his throat. “For your sake, you’d best be telling the truth. You try anything funny and I swear I’ll hunt you down.” He looked like was going to piss himself, he was so scared. I smiled and laughed. I pressed the tip of my knife into his cheek and slowly dragged it across. Blood came spilling out of the cut, but he didn’t make a sound. I wiped the knife off on his shirt and got up to walk away. “Tonight at midnight, same place you found us. Bring anyone with you and I’ll kill you. Cheerio.”

* * *

 

**Present Day (July 2006)**

  “Master?” A voice suddenly jolted me awake. I opened my eyes to see Miss Love standing in front of me. “Master, you fell asleep again.” She smiled sweetly.

  I sat up and looked around, quickly remembering that we were in the basement training area. “Yes, my apologies, Miss. How long was I asleep, exactly?” I asked as I stood up.

  “Around an hour, I think. You should really just go to bed, Master. The human body can’t take so many nights with such little sleep.” She put her left hand on her hip.

  “You’re the one lecturing me about sleep when you haven’t so much as closed your eyes in the last forty-eight hours?” I chuckled softly.

 Miss Love placed her arms behind her back. “Master, you seem to forget that I am no longer human. My body does not require nearly as much rest as you,” she reminded me.

 I did sometimes forget that she was a vampire, but it wasn’t nearly as often as she thought. Miss Love could be very human in certain situations. She was incredibly empathetic and compassionate, but glowing, red eyes, love for human blood, and slightly psychotic tendencies were hard things to ignore.

 “Besides…” she continued “I have far too much work to do.” She sighed, looking at her left hand.

“It’s only been one month, Miss,” I reminded her.

“Yes, but how much farther along were you at this point?” she asked, looking fairly unconvinced by my attempt to reassure her.

“Well, I was much more experienced when it came to fighting in general, Miss, so it’s hardly a fair comparison,” I explained. I could tell by the look on her face that she found something I said to be of interest.

“Is that right?” A mischievous grin spread across her face.

‘ _Oh dear, here it comes.’_ I could already see where this was going.

“Who taught you how to fight? When was it? How old were you? Were you already working here or was it somewhere else?” She bombarded me with questions, looking up at me with me with an almost child-like look of anticipation in her eyes. I sighed. I still had no idea why she found my past so fascinating. It was all rather dull in my eyes.

It was late, and I was in no mood to tell stories. Then again, I never was. “I’m afraid we’ll have to save that tale for another day, Miss.” That was a lie. If I could help it, no one would ever know that story. It wasn’t painful, not anymore, but no one needed to know it. Arthur had known my past and that was more than enough.

Miss Love looked visibly disappointed, but I quickly redirected her attention. “Now then, Miss, shall we run through it one more time?” I suggested.  She nodded, turning back to the wooden cutouts that represented enemies. She held her right hand to her mouth and pulled the wires from her fingertips. With a swift flick of her arm, she flung the wires forward and they wrapped around the wooden figure. Her hands were clenched into tight fists as she tried to keep the hold secure.

“Relax your shoulders,” I instructed. She immediately lowered them. “Now, gently pull forward.” We obviously had different ideas of what the word “gently” meant. Miss Love yanked her hand in with quite a bit of force. The figure was obliterated and the wires were retracting far too quickly.

“Oh shit!”

I hit the floor just before they passed overhead. Only when the wires had finally returned to her hand did I finally get back on my feet.

“Master, are you alright?!” Miss Love rushed to my side. I was fine, completely untouched, while she had a rather large cut running along her right cheek. Blood came to the surface and started dripping down her face. She didn’t seem to notice.

“Well now, I’ll take that as a sign that we should stop for today.” I brushed myself off. Despite her statement only a few moments ago about not needing rest, it was clear that the lack of sleep was taking a toll on her ability to focus. Continuing would most likely lead to one of us losing our heads.

“I’m terribly sorry, Master, but I can still-“ she started to protest.

 “That’s an order, Miss.” I knew that was the only way I would get her stop. She looked down at her feet and bowed her head.

“Yes, sir.”

We made our way upstairs and then to the second floor, walking in silence. Miss Love kept her eyes on the floor. The cut on her face was still bleeding. Despite the fact that she was drinking blood at least twice a day, her healing ability was only slightly better. We stopped in front of her room. She opened her door and I followed her in.

“Let’s take a look at that cut.” I motioned towards the bathroom. At first, Miss Love didn’t seem to know what I was referring to. She placed her right hand to her cheek, getting her glove bloody. She looked at her hand.

“Oh…” she said rather absentmindedly. Miss Love followed me and I pulled the med kit out of the cabinet. Ever since she first came to Hellsing, I had to keep one in her bathroom at all times since she was basically a walking accident. Although it wasn’t a constant occurrence anymore, she was familiar with the routine. She sat on the counter and waited. I handed her a damp cloth to wipe away the blood.

“You need to be more careful, Miss.” The words sounded patronizing once they left my mouth, but she didn’t argue. She pressed the cloth to the cut and stared down at the floor. I could tell she was disappointed in herself for losing control. Learning to read her expressions wasn’t as hard as I had first thought. She was practically an open book once you spent enough time around her.

Miss Love stayed quiet, and after a few minutes, she removed the cloth so I could see how bad the cut actually was. It wasn’t as deep as I had thought. With what little regeneration ability she had, it would be fine by sometime tomorrow. I handed her a bandage and she hopped to her feet, facing the mirror so she could put it on.

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem.” With that matter sorted, we left the bathroom and I started to leave.

“Goodnight, Master.” She bowed again. I disliked it when she got this formal, but that was the nature of our relationship at this point. She no longer called me by my first name and had become far more reserved in my presence. Even after a month, I wasn’t used to it. After having been exposed to her more casual side for four months, it still felt strange when she called me “Master” and bowed her head in front of me.

“Goodnight, Miss.” I shut the door behind me and went into my own room. Normally, I read for a while before bed, but I didn’t think I could keep my eyes open long enough for that tonight. The adrenaline rush from almost losing my head was long gone and I was exhausted. These late nights were getting to me. When I finally turned out the light, I was asleep within minutes.

 

* * *

 

**December 1942**

“What? You gotta’ be kidding me!” One of men in front of me slammed his fist on the table.

“Do I look like I’m joking, sir?” I flicked open my lighter and lit a cigarette. “Eight hundred quid or the deal’s off.” This meeting had only just started and I could already tell it was going to be annoying. I leaned back in my chair. He just continued to glare at me. “Look, you commissioned me to make you these revolvers, so I made them. I’d say eight hundred quid a piece is a fair price, wouldn’t you? This shit ain’t cheap, but if you lot don’t think you can afford it, then that’s fine. I know plenty of other monsters in this city that would be interested in these, and they’ll pay double!” I blew out smoke. The man sitting across from me had a look on his face that resembled someone asking, “how the fuck does this kid know about us?”. This is why I hated taking on new clients. They see a twelve year old kid and think it’s a joke. “It’s my business to know everything about this city, sir. Of course I know what you are. What kind of information broker would I be if I didn’t?”

He was caught completely off guard, which is what I wanted. He glanced back at two blokes he brought with him.

“Just what are you, kid?” one of them asked.

“Whatever I need to be,” I said simply. That was the truth. Debt collector, information broker, gun smith. You name it, I’ve probably done it.

This was starting to bore me. I had more important things to do than sit and argue with a bunch of fourth-rate vampires. “Enough chit-chat, do we have a deal or not?”

The man’s red eyes focused on me again. I could tell he was trying to decide whether or not to just kill me and take the guns. I rested my head on my left hand and glared right back at him, ready to pull out my knife if he even so much as flinched. He scowled, baring his fangs, but sat back in his chair and folded his arms.

“It’s a deal,” he hissed.

“Fantastic!” I grinned. Once the exchange was complete, I rose from my seat. “It was a pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen!” I left quickly and went to go meet with my boss.

 

* * *

 

**The next day**

It was late. The job my boss had given me had taken much longer than I had anticipated. I glanced down at my watch. It was already 11:00. “Bloody hell…” I cursed. If I didn’t get home soon, I’d be in for another lecture and I wasn’t in the mood for that. It’d been a long day and there wasn’t anything to show for it.

My parents knew what I did for work, or at least my Father did. I tried to keep my Mum in the dark as much as possible. Having her worry about me wouldn’t do us any good. It didn’t matter to me what I had to do. It was a job.

When I finally made it home, it was nearly midnight. If my Father was still up, I’d be in for it for sure. I tossed my cigarette to the ground. My Mum didn’t like it when I smoked, so I tried not to do it around her. I didn’t like upsetting her with my work or my bad habits. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and went to unlock the door, but it was already unlocked.

_‘God damn it!_ ’ I thought to myself. If the door wasn’t locked, then my Father was awake after all. I walked in and closed the door behind me. The house was dark and showed no signs of anyone still being awake. Had he just forgotten to lock the door? I walked down the hall and turned to my left, checking to see if he was waiting for me. I felt my blood turn to ice. My Father, or what I assumed was my Father, was on the floor in a spreading pool of blood. His head had been blown open. My Mother sat in a chair in front of me. The vampire from yesterday stood behind her, holding the revolver I had made for him to her head, but she was alive.

“Sure did take your sweet time, didn’t ya', lad?” He grinned sadistically.

“Walter, run!” My Mother shouted.

“Shut it!” The vampire whacked her on the back of the head with the butt of the gun.

 Adrenaline pulsed and coursed through my body. “Don’t you fucking touch her!” I went for the knife on my belt, but heard the click of a loaded gun at the back of my head.

“Don’t move, lad, my boys won’t hesitate to put a bullet in your head.” He laughed. “Now then, shall we get down to business?” He pressed the tip of the revolver into my Mother’s head.

“Let her go! You wanna talk? Then we can talk, but she doesn’t need to be a part of this!” I snarled.

“Right you are!” With that, he pulled the trigger and a loud bang echoed through the room. My Mother’s body hit the floor with a thud.

Everything was a sudden blur. My body moved faster than my mind could fully process. With silver knife in hand, the vampire behind me hit the floor, blood spurting from the fresh, gaping hole in his throat. More of his guys came at me. I cut through them all. They were easy. Gun shots rang out and one bullet tore through my shoulder, but I didn’t even feel it. It was over in seconds. The last one, the monster that had just killed my Mother, was underneath me. I plunged the knife into his heart again and again and again until the rush faded and I could no longer lift my arms above my head. He was dead at least thirty stab wounds ago. All at once, I could feel pain shooting through my shoulder, but I didn’t care.

Next thing I knew, the front door was kicked in. ‘ _More of them_!?’ A single figured glided down the hall and stopped when he came to the first body. He was dressed in a red coat and hat. He held a tommy gun in his right hand. I pulled my knife out of the vampire’s body and got to my feet. _‘Fine, keep_ ‘ _em coming! I’ll kill every last one of you blood suckers!’_

He turned his head to look at me and I froze. His red eyes looked right through me. I couldn’t move. I started to shake all over.  My knife slipped through my fingers, hitting the floor with a loud clattering sound.

“You there, boy, did you do this?” he demanded. All I could manage was a nod. “How interesting…” A twisted smile spread across his face. Was he the leader of these monsters? It didn’t matter. I snapped out of my trance and grabbed my knife off the floor, lunging at the tall vampire, ready to drive the blade into his chest. With lightning-fast reflexes, he caught me by my wrist and took the knife from my hand, before throwing me into the wall. A loud cracking sound echoed through my body. I had the wind knocked out of me. “You’re quite the feisty kid, aren’t you?” He laughed. He held my knife in his hand. “You managed to kill five vampires with nothing but a knife?” The vampire looked it over. “Wait, it’s silver?” He sounded genuinely surprised. “What a fascinating boy you are indeed!” He began to approach me.

“Stay back!” I grabbed one of the revolvers on the floor and fired a round into his chest. It didn’t even seem to faze him.

“Yes, I do believe my Master would love to meet you.” He knelt down and looked me directly in the eyes. “Everything is fine, boy. Go to sleep,” he whispered softly. His voice was almost comforting.

“Everything… is… fine…” I heard myself repeat in a hazy voice. My eyelids were growing heavy.

“Yes, everything is fine.” Everything fell out of focus and I slipped out of consciousness.

 

* * *

 

 I woke up in a panic, flinging myself upright and reaching out in front of me. I had no idea where I was. I didn’t recognize the room and I was in a bed that certainly wasn’t my own. I tried to get up, but pain shot through my left shoulder and across my chest. I clutched my shoulder and fell back on the bed.

 “Take it easy there, lad. You’re safe now.” A man who was sitting by the window laughed softly. Light was shining in. Why was I here? I couldn’t remember anything. I tried to take a deep breath, but pain shot through my chest again and I curled up into a ball, waiting for the pain to stop. “Don’t move around so much. You’ve got a gunshot wound in your shoulder and two broken ribs.”

 I raised my head a bit so I could try and see this mysterious man better. He was older, probably in his fifties. He wore glasses, had short brown hair, and wore a black suit.

“Who are you?” I managed to ask, but only just above a whisper. He stood up, a book in his hand.

 “We’ll have time for introductions in a moment. First, I need to inform Sir Hellsing that you’re awake. I’ll be back shortly.” He smiled. He didn’t seem threatening. He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him.

‘ _I’ve got to get out of here!_ ’ I tried to sit up. “AGH!” I cringed. It was impossible. It felt like a lot more was broken than just two ribs. ‘ _Bloody bastards, what did they do to me?!’_

Finally, I was sitting up, but already out of breath. How on earth was I supposed to escape this place in this condition?

The door opened and in walked a man I didn’t recognize, followed by the man from before.

“The boy lives after all!” The newcomer laughed. He had a deep voice. His blond hair was swept back with a few strands sticking out of place.  His irises matched his hair color almost perfectly. He held a folder in his hand. This was my captor, I was sure of it. The way he carried himself was strong and commanding. “You are quite the fascinating young lad now, aren’t you Walter?” He grinned.

“How do you…”

“How do I know your name?” he finished for me. The man chuckled softly, pulling up a chair and sitting down beside me. He held up the folder and then opened it, pulling out the first page. “Walter Christopher Dornez, born November twenty-first, 1930. Your Father, John, owned a small shop before the war, and your Mother, Helen, worked with him. You were their only child and have been involved in all sorts of trouble for just about four years now. For instance…” He flipped through the pages. “Ah, here we are!” he exclaimed. “You have been linked to the disappearances of a total of thirteen individuals over the last two years. Due to lack of evidence, you’ve never been brought in, although I think that’s utter nonsense. You’re hardly subtle with your work.” He continued to rifle through the papers.

“Who are you?” I glared at him. This guy knew way too much. I didn’t know how well I could fight right now, but I would if I had to. I put my hand to my waist, feeling for my knife. It wasn’t there. Not much of a surprise. Of course they took it from me.

He glanced up at me. “Right, of course, introductions. My name is Sir Arthur Hellsing, I am the head of the Hellsing organization.” Was I supposed to be impressed? I had never heard of _Hellsing_. He looked back at the man who was standing by the window. “This is Simon, my butler. He’s the one who patched you up.” He turned back to me.

“What do you want with me?” My eyes continued to dart back and forth between the two men.

Sir Hellsing closed the folder and motioned for Simon to come over. He handed the folder over to him, but didn’t take his eyes off of me for a single second.

“I couldn’t care less that you’re part of the mob, and I quite frankly don’t give a damn that you’re a murderer either. I care about two things. The first being that, for a twelve year old child, you make some very impressive weapons. And the second being this:” He pulled my silver knife out of his pocket, gripping it by the hilt. “At first glance, this is just a knife, but you and I both know that is not the case.” His eyes flashed with a dangerous excitement. “It’s silver,” he stated. “Now, why would someone carry around a silver blade? Quite the peculiar choice of metal, don’t you think?”

I couldn’t speak. This whole thing was impossible. Who the hell was this man?!

“There’s only one explanation, Walter.” He didn’t say it. He didn’t need to.

I remained silent. Nothing I said would make him believe that I didn’t know. He was too smart for that.

“My point is, Walter, that I think your talents are wasted on the mob. You clearly aren’t appreciated for your true gift, and that is killing monsters. Come work for me. There’s a lot you don’t know and we are more than happy to show it to you.” He looked back at Simon who nodded with a smile. “We are the Royal Protestant Knights. We protect England from the monsters. We could use someone like you. You killed five vampires with just this knife. Imagine what you could do if you joined us.” He smiled.

‘ _I did what?’_ Everything was coming back now. Last night. “Oh, God…” I whispered. No, that had to be some sort of nightmare. That couldn’t have been real. “Where… are my parents?” I asked him. My voice sounded so small, weak, and childish.

Sir Hellsing frowned. “They’re dead, Walter,” he said solemnly. “I’m sorry.” He at least sounded sincere. Dead. They were dead. My Father and my Mum, they were both dead. I thought I was going to be sick. I could remember it all now. The scene repeated over and over in my mind's eye. That monster pulling the trigger and my Mum hitting the floor. It all echoed in my head.

 ‘ _No, this is no time to get emotional. I can’t…’_ I held it in and tried to keep it together. “Oh…yeah…” I paused. “Forgive me, Sir Hellsing, but I’m afraid I have to decline your offer. I already have a job, as you know.” I glanced up at him for a moment and then back down. I just wanted to get out of here.

“Actually you don’t.” He folded his hands. My eyes widened. I stared at him.

‘ _What!?’_  

“Everyone in your little gang is dead as well. You’re the only survivor.” He pulled out a tin of cigars and lit one. “You made too many enemies, lad. They went after everyone you have ever associated  with and killed them all. If they haven't already figured it out, it won’t be long 'till they realize you’re not dead.” He took a moment to blow out smoke. “Now, I know what you’re thinking, Walter. I could be lying to you about this. You’d be stupid not to think that, but are you willing to take the risk? Think about all of the enemies you’ve ever made and how all of them are now hunting you down. How long do you think you can last? A week? A month? Maybe even a year?” He raised an eyebrow.

He was right. I had a lot of enemies. If all of them really were after me, I wouldn’t survive more than a few days if I stayed in London or anywhere else in the country! I had no family, no job, and nothing to return to. I was completely alone. I leaned forward, my head in my hands.

“Alright,” I finally spoke after a long period of silence. This man was offering me a job and the opportunity to keep living. His motives were easy enough to understand. I would be a weapon. That was fine by me. “I’ll work for you,” I said quietly.

“Fantastic! I knew you’d agree in the end!” He patted me on the back. It hurt, but I didn’t let him see that. Simon walked over to us and smiled at me. “Simon will be your mentor in fighting and your teacher of the occult.” He motioned towards him.

_‘This guy?’_ I thought to myself. He didn’t really seem like the fighting type, but that was the least of my concerns right now. “Sir Hellsing…” I started.

“Yes?”

“By any chance… could I see my parents' bodies?” I asked, looking down.

Sir Hellsing sighed as he took another puff of his cigar. “No, I’m afraid not. We couldn’t know for sure if they were bitten. We had no choice but to burn their bodies.” Those words made my heart sink again. That was it, then. I would never get to say goodbye. I clenched my jaw tightly.  “However,” Sir Hellsing added. “That does remind me.” He reached into his jacket pocket. “Give me your hand,” he instructed. I held out my hand. He placed the object in my hand and then stood up. I looked at what he had given me. It was a silver chain with two rings on it. “Your parents' wedding rings,” he said softly.

 All I could do was just stare down at them. “Thank you, Sir…” It was barely even a whisper, but he still heard me. Sir Hellsing nodded and began to walk away.                   

“You’re injured, so physical training is out of the question for the time being, but you’ll start working with Simon tomorrow. Rest for today.” He turned to look back at me one last time. “Welcome to Hellsing, Walter Dornez” He walked out the door, his footsteps growing faint as he strode down the hallway.

 There was a pause and then Simon spoke up. “I know it’s a lot to process in such a short amount of time, but try to get some rest while you can. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He smiled and walked out, closing the door behind him.

 Slowly, I laid down. I turned on to my right side and brought my knees to my chest despite the burning pain. I clutched the rings in my hand and held them close, tears beginning to roll down my cheeks.

 

* * *

 

**Present day**

  My eyes opened slowly. ‘ _A dream…’_ I quickly realized. I glanced over at the clock on my desk. It was already almost 5:00AM. ‘ _Damn…’_ I thought. I hardly felt as though I had slept at all. I should have just gotten up, but I decided I would lay there for a few minutes. I let my thoughts wander a bit and found myself absentmindedly pulling the silver chain out from underneath my shirt. It was a rather stupidly sentimental thing to wear after all these years. After all, my parents were practically just a hazy memory at this point, but for some reason I still held on to it.

 There was a knock at my door. I pushed myself to my feet and opened it up to see Miss Love standing before me in a T-shirt and shorts, her long hair was still a mess.

 “You’re up early, Miss. What is it?” I asked. This wasn’t like her at all.

 “Master, we have a problem…”


	5. Broken Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Change is in the air. Walter can feel it. Nothing is going to be the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the late update. These chapters are already written so I honestly don't have much of an excuse. I'm writing chapter 11 and have been for months. (college is a bitch, kiddies~)

“Something’s wrong, Master,” Miss Love said, her eyes were wide and almost glowing in the dim light. “Someone’s coming.”

                “Who is it?” I demanded. “Miss Love, do you know who it is?”

                “Sir Hugh Islands and the rest of the round table,” she answered monotonously. It was almost like she was in a trance.

                “Good, I’m not the only one who noticed.” Alucard manifested beside her. He didn’t have the usual cocky grin on his face. He actually looked somewhat frustrated. “Get dressed, the both of you. They’ll be here any minute now.”

                Miss Love nodded and went back to her room. “What’s wrong with her?” I asked out loud.

                “State of observation, she probably still has some sort of mental connection to the two she brainwashed all those months ago. Hurry up, Walter. Something is very wrong here.” He scowled and strode down the hall only to disappear into thin air once again.

                Within the next five minutes, I was at least somewhat presentable, wearing a shirt and trousers with my hair hastily pulled back. I was waiting by the door with Miss Love, who was only slightly more put together.

                “They’re here.” She closed her eyes and when she opened them she was back to normal. “This is ridiculous…” she muttered. “It is stupid o’clock in the morning. Someone had better be dead.”

                I couldn’t help but smile. I thoroughly agreed with her. Whatever was going on it had better be important to warrant such an unexpected visit. Several cars pulled up and out of them came the members of the round table. Sir Islands was the first one to approach us. He looked to me and then to Miss Love.

                “What is the meaning of this, Sir Islands?” I asked as politely as I could manage.

                “Where is Sir Integra?” he demanded, ignoring my question. Before I could open my mouth, I heard Alucard’s voice behind me.

                “My Master shall join us shortly, but in the meantime…” He walked in front of me. “I believe you have some explaining to do, gentlemen,” he snarled. A dark and menacing aura surrounded him. Large shadows crept out of his form and began to spread towards the council members. “I will not stand for this.”

                “Hmph.  You would do well to remember your place, vampire.” Sir Islands stood his ground, not flinching under Alucard’s dark presence.

                This was getting out of hand quickly, but before I could step in another voice, this time Sir Integra’s, came from behind me. “Stand down Alucard!” she ordered. Alucard stiffened, the shadowy masses retracted back into his body as he looked back at her.

                “My Master, this is an inexcusable act of disrespect.”

                “Are you disobeying me, servant?” She glared at him as she made her way down the steps.

                Alucard shrunk back, bowing his head. “No, Master.” The three of us stepped to the side.

                “The situation must be impossibly dire if you’ve got the audacity to show up here unannounced.” She stood in front of Sir Islands

                “Believe me, Sir Integra, if it could wait then we wouldn’t be here.” His tone of voice was unsettling. 

                “What is it? What happened?”

                Sir Islands shook his head. I looked down at Miss Love who was staring intently at the eleven men who stood before us. It didn’t take a genius to know that she was reading their minds, trying to figure out why they were here.

                ‘ _Don’t,’_ I thought and hoped that she would hear me. She glanced up at me, eyebrows still narrowed. ‘ _Don’t do it._ ’ She gave a barely noticeable nod and then looked back at Sir Islands.

                “Fine, let’s go inside. Walter?” She looked to me. “Put some tea on and bring it to the conference room.”

                “Yes, of course, Sir.” I bowed and with Miss Love beside me, we went to leave.

“Actually…” Sir Islands spoke up once more. “I’m afraid that his matter concerns Walter, and unfortunately…” He glared at Alucard. “It involves _him_ as well.”

                ‘ _It involves us?!_ I glanced at Alucard, who looked just as confused as I did. It’s not that I wasn’t used to being involved in the matters that were discussed within the round table conferences, but the issues never had anything to do with me directly and it certainly never had anything to do with Alucard.

                Sir Integra was surprisingly calm. Her eyes went from Alucard, to me, and then rested back on Sir Islands. “Very well then,” she said as she continued to stare them down. “Melody?”

                At the mention of her name, Miss Love stepped forward, standing up straight and putting her arms behind her back. “Yes, Sir?”

                “You will take on Walter’s responsibilities for the duration of this meeting. Is that clear?”

                “Yes, Sir,” she answered without a moment’s hesitation.  There was nothing to worry about. Not only was I training her in my fighting style, but I was also preparing her to take over my position of butler to the Hellsing organization once I died. She was more than capable of taking over for a few hours. Miss Love walked back inside ahead of the rest of us.

               

Up on the third floor in the conference room, Sir Integra sat at the head of the table. Sir Islands sat opposite her. Alucard and I stood off to the side. The air was tense.

                Finally, after what felt like an eternity of uncomfortable silence, Sir Islands started his explanation. “September, 1944. Do you remember that, Walter?” he asked. He didn’t look at me. He kept his eyes fixed on Sir Integra.

                “Yes, Sir,” I answered.

                “Arthur sent you and Alucard to Warsaw to put an end to the Nazi experiments with the undead.” He folded his hands. “Many of us, myself included, were opposed to you being sent. After all, you were only fourteen at the time and if you had failed it could have cost us the war. Originally, Simon was going to be sent, but…” he trailed off. My mentor’s death was not something that was ever spoken about. It was an accident that Sir Arthur Hellsing had blamed himself for 'till the day he died, and it wasn’t something that anyone wanted to remember.  Sir Islands shook his head. “The point is that because of you and Alucard, their research center was destroyed and all involved in the experiments were pronounced dead, including the Major himself.” 

                This was very old news. I was there. Of course I knew that they were dead. “With all due respect, I fail to see the problem, Sir. That was over sixty years ago. All those men are, as you said, long dead.”

                “Yes…” Sir Islands finally looked me in the eyes. “They are dead.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a single photograph. “But in your line of work, the dead do have a habit of getting back up again.” He held out the photograph in my direction. “Explain this, Walter.” I approached him and took the photograph, examining it closely. I felt my heart sink. Although it wasn’t a perfect shot, this was indeed a photograph of the Major.

                “When was this taken?” I asked calmly.

                “Two months ago in Brazil.”

                There were no words. There was absolutely nothing I could say. We had failed.

                “The Major is alive and well.  In fact, it seems as though he hasn’t aged a day in sixty-two years.” He was glaring at the both of us. “You and Alucard assured us that they were dead, but obviously that was not the case. So, tell me, what really happened in Warsaw?”

                I didn’t have any choice. I ended up telling them the truth. I had almost no memory of the events that occurred that day in Warsaw. They hadn’t believed me at first, but thankfully Alucard took over and explained. I had lost my fight with the Captain and, for reasons I still to this day don’t understand, he didn’t kill me. I was knocked out cold and when I woke up, Alucard had been carrying me over his shoulder.  Just moments later, the research center was blown to pieces behind us. I was no longer in any sort of condition to fight, and Alucard requested our return. When I asked what had happened to the Major and all his men, Alucard had told me they were dead and that was the end of that.

                When the story was finished, it only got worse from there. Sir Islands informed us they had received and confirmed information that the Nazis are up to something, possibly preparing to finish what they started over sixty years ago. It was only a matter of time 'till they attacked, and we were certainly not going to just sit around and wait for it. The debate on how to handle the situation began.

               

                I walked out of the conference room. Finally, after nearly an hour and a half of arguing over what course of action should be taken, a decision was reached. It was the logical solution, but that didn’t stop me from having problems with it.

At the end of the hall, Miss Love stood up against the wall, nervously tugging at the cross around her neck. She would want an explanation and I wasn’t willing to give her one. I was beyond frustrated and felt utterly humiliated. Just the thought of having to listen to her constant questions was enough to piss me off. I didn’t want her to know what was going on. She would panic.

                She saw me coming and stood up straight, stepping forward to face me with her arms placed behind her back. “Master, I-“

                “There will be no time for training today,” I cut her off. “See to your chores and then practice with firearms with the Captain and his men. Is that clear?”

                “Yes, sir.” She nodded. I left her there without another word. I went to my room and closed the door behind me. I stood in the center of the room.

                Alucard rose up from the floorboards and stood to my left. “What are you going to do?” he asked, his red eyes fixed on me.

                “There isn’t anything we _can_ do, Alucard. We have our orders. Tomorrow morning, we leave for South America. That’s all there is to it.” I sat down on the edge of my bed and sighed. For the first time in twenty-eight years, I wanted a cigarette. “Have you spoken with Seras yet?”

                “Yes. She’s getting ready as we speak. What about you, Walter?”

                He was, of course, referring to Miss Love. I shook my head. Sir Integra had left me to decide whether or not she would be joining us.  I came to the conclusion far too quickly. “She’s not ready. She’ll get us all killed.”

                “She won’t be happy about that. The girl is far too protective of you. If she thinks for even a second that your life will be in danger, do you honestly think there’s anything you can do to stop her?” Alucard put his hands in his pockets. “You must realize, Walter, that you may not come back from this mission.”

                “Of course I know that. That’s why I’m not going to tell her,” I explained.

                “That is a _horrible_ idea.” He frowned. “You’re just going to disappear tomorrow morning? No goodbye, no explanation? That’s cruel even by my standards!”

                “Well, what the hell do you expect me to say to her, Alucard?! 'Goodbye Miss, I’m off to South America go fight Nazis and probably get myself killed, see you in hell!' In what universe would that go over well?” I shouted.

                “No, what I’m saying is that you should let her come on this assignment. How is she ever supposed to learn anything if you keep protecting her?” he demanded.

                “This isn’t some brainless hoard of ghouls, Alucard! This is an army of full-fledged vampires, armed and trained by the Major himself!  She won’t last two seconds!” I argued.

                “You’re underestimating her. She is more than capable of handling herself.”

                “You must be joking,” I scoffed. “She has never seen _real_ combat before in her life!”

                “You keep forgetting what she is, Walter! Underneath that sweet, innocent shell is a monster capable of bringing even the strongest of men to their knees with a single look. We could really use her abilities,” he continued.

                I clenched my hands into fists. The urge to take his head off was quite powerful at the moment. I fought it, taking a deep breath and exhaling before looking up at him, meeting his eyes. “That is not for you to decide, Alucard. She is my apprentice and I stand by my decision. She will not be going on this assignment. Now get out. There are preparations that need to be made for tomorrow.” I stood up.

                “You’ve gone soft, Angel.” He shook his head.

                “I said get out before I cut your _bloody_ head off!” I flexed my wrist, ready to follow through with that threat.  Alucard scowled and stood there silently for a moment or two before turning and walking through the closed door.

                It had been a long time since I’d gotten this angry. I stood there, shaking. I had the strong desire to cut someone or something in half. A giant horde of ghouls sounded like a more than welcome challenge right now.

 When I finally calmed down, I realized he was right, or partially right anyways. It wasn’t hard to see that I had grown fond of Miss Love, but my reasons for refusing to bring her were sound. She had no experience in battle and with her being her usual, accident-prone self, we’d all end up getting killed before we could even think of getting close to the Major. No, it was far too risky. ‘ _Perhaps in a month or two when she’s ready I can…’_ I was reminded of the reality of the situation in the middle of my thoughts. Sixty-two years ago, I was no match for the Captain. Sure, I had plenty more experience now, but I was not a young man anymore. ‘ _If I have to face that man again… I will die.’_ There was no fighting that realization. I wasn’t afraid to die. I never had been, but now… we had only just started. She wasn’t ready to take over yet.

                The thoughts kept swirling around in my head, but none of it made any difference. I was leaving tomorrow and there was nothing that could change that. This was the mistake Alucard and I made, and now we needed to fix it. It was settled and there was no use thinking about it any longer. I left my room and began the necessary preparations for tomorrow.

 

                I sat at my desk in my room. It was just past two in the morning. There was no point in sleeping. We’d be leaving in an hour.

                I had managed to avoid coming into contact with Miss Love all day. If she had read my mind than it would’ve been all over. That being said, Alucard was right. No goodbye was cruel.

                I stared down at the paper in front of me and grabbed it, crumpling it into a ball before tossing it in the waste bin with the rest of my failed letters. This was harder than I thought it’d be. I pulled out a new sheet of paper and then sat there, waiting for the right words.

                I think I finally had it. This was my last shot. Get it right now or not at all. I began to write.

               

_Dear Miss Love,_

_By the time you read this, I will have left hours ago along with Alucard, Seras and Captain Bernadotte. We have been given an assignment and you simply aren’t ready for it. We have discussed before how you will take over my role once I’m gone, but unfortunately that time seems to have come sooner rather than later._

_You’ve impressed me, Miss. You’ve surpassed everyone’s expectations as far what you’re capable of. I’m sorry to say that I did indeed doubt your potential when we first met, but not anymore. It’s too soon for this. You’ve come a long way in these five, short months, but you still have a lot to learn and I don’t think I’ll be here to show you. I’ve done all I can in this short time and I hope it’s enough. It’s been a pleasure to work with you and I am truly proud to call you my apprentice. Good luck, Melody Love, and goodbye._

_Sincerely_

_Walter C. Dornez_

 

It was a pitiful excuse for a goodbye letter and it didn’t say half of what I had wanted it to, but I was out of time. This would have to do.  I folded the letter, placed it in the envelope and wrote her name on the front. I walked to my bedside and swung the small bag over my shoulder before leaving my room. I turned to the right and started walking down the hall. I stopped in front of Miss Love’s room and hesitated for a moment. I needed to have some excuse if she was awake. I cautiously placed my right hand on the doorknob and twisted it, opening the door slightly. It was dark, she was asleep. I walked in, attempting to remain as quiet as possible, not that there was any need. The girl slept like a rock. Nothing short of an atomic bomb would wake her up at this hour. I placed the letter on her desk and went promptly to leave, but I couldn’t help it. I walked over to her bedside where she lay curled into a tight ball. I still hadn’t the faintest idea how she’d managed to talk Sir Integra out of getting her a coffin. Actually, that wasn’t true. I knew _exactly_ how she managed it, I just chose to ignore it.

She had a peaceful expression on her face. It only made me feel more reluctant to leave. I shook my head, reminding myself that there wasn’t a choice. “I’ve done all that I can,” I whispered to myself as I stood and approached the door, looking back at her sleeping figure just once before walking out and closing the door.

 

**Sir Integra Hellsing’s P.O.V.**

**Three weeks Later (July 27 th 2006)**

 

“I’ll ask you one more time, Sir, where is he?!” Melody, who was standing in front of me, demanded. Her red eyes were focused in an intense glare at me. Her hands were clenched into tight fists. I sat back in my chair, and took a long drag on my cigar.

“That is none of your concern, Melody,” I answered calmly. I was working hard to avoid direct eye contact. I kept my gaze on the paper that was in front of me.

She scowled, baring her fangs like a wild dog. “The hell it isn’t!”

This exchange had become a daily occurrence since Walter and others had left, although it was far different compared to how she had started. The day he left, she had been found by one of the Captain’s men, sobbing and holding the letter he had written her in her hands. By the end of the first week, she was begging on her hands and knees to know where he was, and now she was resorting to threats. She was more than desperate, and I certainly wasn’t fooled into believing that she was above physical violence.

“I haven’t the time for this.” I clicked the pen in my hand and began writing up a report that was long overdue. “You are dismissed. You have duties to attend to.”

“Not until you tell me where my Master has gone!” she shouted. I stopped writing mid-sentence. Part of me wanted to end this game and tell her, but what would I say? The truth was that I hadn’t a clue where Walter was. Three days ago, Alucard had gotten in touch. Walter was gone.  He disappeared without a trace. He’d left everything behind and no one had heard from him since. The success of the mission came before my personal feelings. I knew that. I gave the order yesterday. _'Until the mission has been completed, Walter is, for all intents and purposes, dead.'_ How could I possibly tell her that? How could I admit that I’d given that order?

All at once I could see Melody’s expression change, her eyes were wide and he mouth hung open. I looked up at her in the sudden realization that she had heard my thoughts. How could I have slipped up like that? I’d been so careful not to think about anything around her up until now. Melody stiffened and lowered her head.

“Excuse me, sir…” she said in a whimper. Her bangs hid her eyes, but I could see the red tears starting to fall down her cheeks before she turned and left the room.

I leaned forward, placing my head in my hands. “Live through this, Walter… That’s an order…” I whispered softly. I hadn’t felt this helpless in a very long time.

 

**Seras Victoria’s P.O.V.**

**July 28 th 2006 (7:30 PM)**

**Some remote part of Brazil**

 

After three weeks of reconnaissance and searching, we finally found the damn Nazi hideout. I don’t know how they managed to hide a giant blimp in the middle of the jungle, but they did. I was anxious to get this over with. I wanted to kill these bastards and then focus on finding Walter. He disappeared four days ago and Sir Integra had forbidden us from looking for him. I didn’t understand. Walter raised Integra, didn’t he? How could she just write him off like that?! I knew this mission was important, but…

“Now is not the time for day-dreaming, police girl,” Master scolded me.

“Yes, Master. Forgive me, but-”

“Orders are orders. Walter is more than capable of handling himself. Now focus,” he ordered.

“Right, of course, sir.” I nodded. Pip walked abreast me. We were both on edge from Master’s current mood. He hadn’t been his usual self this entire time. Master loved battle. He loved it more than anything on this Earth, but he was unhappy right now, and it wasn’t hard to see why. Walter was probably the closest thing to a friend Master was capable of having.

The three of us approached the enormous aircraft. It was strange. We hadn’t come across a single solider yet. This was their base, no doubt about that.  So where was everyone?

We approached what I assumed was the entrance, only to see that it was practically blown open. ‘ _Do they know we’re coming?_ ’ If that was the case then we would be walking into a blood bath. Master stopped walking at the beginning of the ramp.

“Captain?”

“Yesz?” Pip answered as he tossed his cigarette to the ground and readied his rifle.

“You will stand guard out here. A human such as you is no use to me against this many vampires. My fledgling and I will handle whatever waits for us inside. Understood?” It was more of an order than a question.

“Right, you got eet.” He rested the gun on his shoulder. “Serasz, _mon cher_ , come 'ere for a moment.” Pip motioned towards me while Master walked up the ramp, having already drawn his Casull in one hand and the Jackal in the other.

“What is it, sir?” I asked, watching as Master disappeared into the dark entrance. Pip’s free arm secured itself around my waist and he pulled me in. He whispered in my left ear.

“Somezeeng doesn’t feel right about ziss. Be careful, and you 'ad better come back alive, underztand?” His grip tightened.

I blushed. “I’ll be fine.”

“Right…” He let go and gave one of his stupid grins. “Well zen, you'd better get to eet! Keeck lots of Nazi ass for me!”

I smiled and ran up the ramp after Master. He was already at the end of the hall. “Master!” I shouted to him.

He turned his head slightly. “Hurry up, police girl! Don’t dawdle.” He kept walking and made a right turn at the end of the hallway.

“Yes, sir!” I continued to run after him. Pip was definitely right. Something about this place felt horribly wrong. It was ominously quiet and I could smell blood further ahead. The darkness wasn’t a problem, but it also seemed a bit odd. This place felt abandoned. I was starting to think that we were too late.

I took a right turn and found myself skidding to a halt. Dozens of corpses littered the floor. They had been cut to pieces. Some had been rendered to unrecognizable hunks of meat, but the Kevlar armor and swastikas they wore made it easy to identify them as soldiers.  Nazi soldiers.  Their blood adorned the walls like a fresh coat of paint.

“Dear God…” I whispered. “Who on Earth could have done this?”

Master didn’t answer me. He kept walking and I followed. The bodies were piling up in larger groups as we ventured deeper and deeper into the aircraft. The scent of blood was so thick it was making my mouth water.

I quickened my pace so that I was walking at Master’s side. I gripped my Harkonnen tightly. Whatever had killed these soldiers was still here.

There was a faint light up ahead. That’s where they were. We stepped inside the room. It looked like some sort of lab and on one of the operating tables sat a lone figure. He was young, no older than nineteen or twenty. He had short, messy, black hair and wore an unruly, ripped shirt that was more red than white, black trousers and a loose tie around his neck. The smoke from the cigarette he had between his lips floated up to the ceiling.

‘ _Did t_ _his kid kill all of these men?!_ ’ I stared in awe at the countless bodies that practically formed a ring around him.

As if he had heard my thoughts, he looked up at us with glaring, red eyes. He scowled. “You’re late, cunts!” he hissed in an English accent. The boy stepped down.  “I was beginning to think you’d forgotten me.” He took a step forward. I, without another second of hesitation, aimed my Harkonnen right for his forehead. He stopped and glared at me. “Don’t point one of my own guns at me, Seras.” He made a small motion with his right hand, twisting it to the right and then pulling. Something was trying to pull my gun out of my hands. I looked down and saw the faint shimmer of thin wires wrapped around the barrel.

“Walter?” I gasped. “Walter, is that you?!”

He didn’t answer. Master, who had yet to say a word, stepped forward. “Put the gun down, Seras,” he ordered. I looked up at him, hesitant to obey. “I said put it _down_.” I quickly lowered it to the floor and let go, watching as Walter’s wires retracted back into his hand. “What’s going on here, Walter? Have you betrayed us?” Master asked, gripping his own guns tightly.  

Walter smiled and started to laugh. It was unsettling. “Oh dear, wouldn’t that be something?!” he exclaimed in between laughs. He pulled out a box of cigarettes and a lighter, lighting a new one and sticking it into his mouth.  “Ah yes, how brilliant would that be? The seventy-five year-old butler, after dedicating nearly his _entire_ life to the Hellsing family suddenly, and for no explicable reason, turns on his Master and joins a bunch of fourth-rate Nazi vampires. I’m sorry, Alucard, are you going senile in your old age?”

Walter would never talk like that. How could this be the same man? “What’s happened to you, Walter?” I asked, my voice only above a whisper.

“Well now, Miss Victoria, I believe that is fairly obvious. I was captured and turned into a vampire.” He blew out smoke.

“You look so…”

“Young?” he finished my sentence for me. I nodded. “Yes, well that is what happens when you involuntarily become an insane Nazi doctor’s new toy. ” He strolled over to a body laying face down in the corner of the room and placed his foot on top of the head. “Bloody idiot messed up during his experiments and I started regressing. Thankfully, for you and me, he was able to stop the process and I was declared stable this morning.” He sighed as he blew out a second cloud of smoke and then effortlessly crushed the skull of the dead man beneath his foot. I flinched. Walter noticed and looked my way, meeting my eyes again. They weren’t the same kind and gentle, steel-gray eyes that I’d come to know over the last seven years. No, they were burning red with anger and resentment. They had done so much more than turn him into a vampire.

Walter looked back down at the dead man who he’d just crushed and the expression on his face changed. He didn’t look angry anymore, just sad. Walter shoved his hands in his pockets and started to walk our way, his head down so his black hair hid his eyes. “Let’s go home,” he said quietly.  All of the sarcastic humor had left his voice.

“What about the Major?” Master asked, still holding his guns akimbo.

Walter didn’t respond right away. He stopped mid-step and kept his eyes on the floor. “He’s dead.” He tossed his cigarette to the ground. “They all made a very grave mistake. Never under estimate an unstable, newborn vampire that still has something to fight for.” He started to walk again. “Let’s go home,” he repeated. “I have an apprentice that’s waiting for me…”

 

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V.**

**London, England**

**July 29 th 2006 (4:30 PM)**

 

It felt strange walking back into Hellsing. Had it really only been three weeks? It felt like a lifetime. The trip back home had been long and painfully quiet.  Then again, maybe the silence wasn’t such a bad thing. I had a lot of things to think about.

I looked up at the sky, holding my right hand above my eyes. Was the sun always this bright? It didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would.  One of the advantages of being an artificial vampire I suppose, but I still didn’t exactly care for it. Miss Victoria looked back at me. I pretended not to notice the concerned expression on her face. I had been a bit harsh with her back on the airship, so I would allow the occasional look of pity for the time being.

“Walter? Do you want a jacket to cover up?” she asked timidly. She never talked to me like that. Seras wasn’t the type to talk quietly.

I shook my head. “No thank you, Miss Victoria.” I replied quietly. I still didn’t recognize the sound of my own voice. I sounded like a child. Dear God, how was I ever supposed to explain this to Sir Integra? No, she was the least of my worries. How was I _ever_ going to explain this to Miss Love? Would she allow me the chance to explain what happened?  Would she even recognize me? As much as I had longed to return home, I dreaded having to see her face.

We had to report to Sir Integra before we could do anything else. I wanted desperately to get out of these bloody clothes so that at least something about me would seem familiar, but that would have to wait.

I walked behind everyone else as we entered Sir Integra’s office. She knew they had found me, but she didn’t know what condition I was in.

                Alucard knelt. “My Master, we have returned.”

                “Excellent work, servant.” Sir Integra sat at her desk, smoking one of her cigars and writing on the sheet of paper in front of her. “I will hear your report in a moment, but first I want an explanation. What happened, butler? Why did you disappear?” She still hadn’t looked up from her paper.

                I stepped forward, bowing my head. “My lady…” I started. “Please, forgive me.”

                I heard the scribbling of the pen in her hand stop. She was looking at me now. “...Walter?” The confusion and disbelief in her voice was impossible to miss.

                “Yes, Ma’am. I am sorry for appearing like this in front of you.” I kept my head down.

                At first there was silence. It was uneasy.

                “Seras, Mr. Bernadotte, Alucard, you three are dismissed. I have more pressing matters to attend to.” Her voice cracked a little as she spoke sternly. It made me cringe. She was not an emotional person. Even when she was a child, she rarely lost her composure.

                “But Master-”

                “I said _dismissed_!” She cut Alucard off before he could finish his sentence. Moments later I heard their footsteps echo across the floor as they left the room. It was quiet again.  “Raise your head, Walter,” she ordered. I did and looked her straight in the eyes. I had never seen such a look her face. She looked as though she was just moments away from bursting into tears, but I knew better than that. Sir Integra never cried, not since her father passed away all those years ago. “What in God’s name happened to you?” she asked as she looked me over.

                I found myself smiling “I assure you, my lady, that I did not choose this of my own free will.” I laughed to myself quietly. “I’ve become a bit of a science experiment, you could say.  An 'artificial' vampire,” I explained.

                “Artificial?” she repeated.

                “Yes, Ma’am.”

                More silence.

                “What are you going to tell Melody?”

                With those words my eyes fell back to the floor and my mouth drooped, forming a frown. That was the big question wasn’t it? What was I going to tell Miss Love? The promise I had made her not long ago was broken. I stood here as a vampire.  An artificial vampire, but a vampire nonetheless.

                “I don’t know,” I answered. That was the truth. I hadn’t the faintest idea of what I was going to tell her or how I would even get her to listen for that matter.

                “Well, you’d better figure it out. I won’t ask for the details on your ordeal.  As long as those monsters are dead and you’re here, I don’t care, but she most certainly will.” Sir Integra sat back in her chair. “Which reminds me, Walter.”

                “Yes, Ma’am?”

                “That apprentice of yours has been an absolute nightmare to deal with since you left. The girl recognizes no authority other than you and I will _not_ tolerate it. Teach that girl some respect for her superiors or I’ll hand her over to Alucard. Am I clear?” she demanded.

                “Yes, Sir, quite clear. You have my sincerest apologies.”

                “I want to hear a full report from the four of you tonight and you’ll resume your duties first thing in the morning. In the meantime, see to that apprentice of yours and get out of those awful clothes. You are dismissed.” She waved me off and went back to her paperwork.

                I bowed once more before I turned and left her office without another word. That had been the easy part. Now I was left with what to do with Miss Love. Not only did I have to figure out some way to explain what had happened in Brazil, but I also had to punish her for her disrespect. _‘God damn it all! Stupid girl, what have you done?!’_ I thought to myself, scowling.

                I went down the staircase and began shuffling towards my room. First order of business was to get out of these bloody clothes. It was hard enough to recognize me as is. At least if I was wearing my normal clothes, she would be able make the connection faster.

                To my surprise, my door was open. I cautiously approached and peered inside to see Miss Love knelt on the floor in the dark. She was facing away from me, but I could tell she was holding something in her hands.

                “Damn it… What the hell is she doing?” I murmured softly under my breath as I leaned up against the wall outside my door. I wasn’t ready for this confrontation. I needed more time.

                I could suddenly make out soft sniffling sounds. I looked back into the room. She was crying, clutching whatever it was she had in her hands.

                “Please, God, I’m begging you…” she whimpered. The words sent a surge of pain through my head. How could she be _praying_? That was supposed to be physically impossible, but she kept going. “Please bring him back home-” She began to cough violently in the middle of her pleas, placing one hand on the floor to keep herself upright and the other covering her mouth. I caught the faint smell of blood. She was coughing up blood.

                I started to open my mouth to speak, to tell her that was enough, I was right here and to stop hurting herself, but I stopped. She wouldn’t recognize my voice. There had to be some other way to get her attention. Maybe she would recognize the sound of my thoughts?

                I stepped past the doorway and into the room. _‘Please stop, Miss… That’s enough.’_ I thought to her.

                She gasped, raising her head and turning to look at me. I covered my face with one hand. My eyes would give it away too quickly.

                “Master!” I heard her jump to her feet. “Master, I- please forgive me, I didn’t mean for you to- I was just…” she stuttered while she scrambled to collect her thoughts.  Then she noticed something was amiss. “Master? What’s happened to you? You’re covered in blood and your hair…” She trailed off. She couldn’t see my face yet. She couldn’t see that I was younger. “Is something wrong, sir? Is your head hurting? Would you like me to go grab some aspirin from your bathroom? ” I heard her take a step forward. I held up my other hand and shook my head no. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?” she asked.

                _‘I don’t know how else to do this…’_ I thought to myself even though I knew she could hear. I lowered my hand, revealing my new face and my gleaming, red eyes.

                “What…?!” A look of absolute horror took shape on Miss Love’s eyes and mouth. She took a step back. “W-Who are you?” her voice wavered.

                “It’s me, Miss.” I started to take a step forward.

                “STOP!” In an instant she went from fear to anger. “Don’t take another step!” she hissed. This was going far worse than I ever could have anticipated. Even though she heard my thoughts she didn’t believe it was me. “Who are you?!” she demanded.

                “It’s me, Miss.” I repeated. Miss Love bared her fangs as she adjusted her feet into a fighting stance.

                “Just what do you take me for, an idiot?” she snarled.  “My Master is in his seventies, and more importantly, my Master is a human. I don’t know who you are, how you got in here, or how you were able to mimic his thoughts, but if you don’t start telling me the truth, I will kill you!” With a gentle twist of her right hand I could see the slight shimmer of wires flow from her fingers. She’d been practicing, but she was still too tense in her shoulders. With another swift flick, they started to whirl around her. “One last chance,” she warned. “Tell me who you are!”

                “I already told you, Miss Love. It’s me. I am Walter.” I tried one last time, my voice almost unnaturally calm. She pulled her arm across her body in a sudden motion. I moved faster. She was angry and she wasn’t focusing, making her movements easy to read.

                Before she could even finish her move, I had restrained her with my own wires, trapping her securely and forcing her arms to her side.

                “Let me go!” she barked. “You’re not my Master, you’re not him! My Master would never become a vampire! He promised!” She struggled.

                “I’m sorry, Miss Love,” I said softly. The look of rage turned back to shock and then to what could only be described as despair.

                “No!” She shook her head back in forth. “My Master’s a human. He wouldn’t- he’d never- you promised…” Her voice cracked into a high pitch squeak as red tears started to roll down her cheeks. “Master…” She finally stopped struggling and lowered her head. I let her go and the wires returned to my hand.

                Miss Love walked up to me, looking up at me with her big, red eyes. “It really is you...?” she whimpered.

                I nodded. “Yes.”

                She gritted her teeth and glared at me again. “You jerk!” I felt the impact of her right hand across my face. “You lying son of a bitch!  Were you really so desperate to be remembered?!” She sobbed and walked past me and out of my room, closing the door behind her. I heard the slam of her own door down the hall only moments later.

                I brought my hand to my left cheek. It stung. I could have stopped her so easily. I could have kept her restrained and explained, but I didn’t. I didn’t even try to stop her from smacking me.

                “Well done, Walter, now you’ve really gone and screwed yourself over.” I sighed to myself.

                The object Miss Love had been holding was still lying on the floor. She’d forgotten it when she stormed out. Was it the letter I’d written her? I bent over and picked it up. It just looked like a white piece of paper, but it had a date from almost two months ago written in the corner. I turned it over and saw it was a photograph of Miss Love and I.

                “I don’t remember this being taken,” I said out loud. I did, however remember the moment in the photo. It was Miss Love’s first time using the wires. She’d somehow gotten herself tangled and I had to get her out. I could see the embarrassed expression on her face and could almost hear her saying “I’m sorry, Master!” I was my old self and I was laughing in the picture. The scene made me smile, but it felt so far away from where I was now. I placed it on my desk. I would give it to her later, maybe tomorrow after she’d had some time to cool down.

                I stripped off my blood-soaked clothes and changed. Once I was dressed I stood in front of my mirror and smirked. I looked like I was just twenty years old again, before I’d grown my hair out wildly or lost part of my vision in my left eye due to that accident.

                As I went to sit down, I heard a knock on my door. Had she come back already? I walked over and opened up to find Miss Victoria standing there. To say I wasn’t disappointed was a lie, but I wasn’t exactly surprised. 

                “What can I do for you, Miss Victoria?” I asked.

                “Have you talked with Melody yet?”

                I sighed and stepped to the side so she could come in. She walked in and pulled out the chair by my desk. I sat on the edge of my bed. It had been some time since we had talked like this.

                “Yes, about twenty minutes ago,” I finally answered.

                “How’d it go?” She folded her arms.

                “It couldn’t have gone worse if I tried.” I shook my head.

                “That bad?”

                “Well, considering she tried to kill me and then smacked me across the face once she figured out who I was, I’d say yes, it was that bad.” I went for the pack of cigarettes and lighter I had in my back pocket when I remembered they were in the clothes I’d just taken off and thrown out. Being in the business of killing things teaches you to get blood stains out clothes, but they had been far beyond saving. I sighed again, making a mental note that when I went running errands tomorrow, I’d need to stop and get a new pack.

                “She actually hit you?” Seras sounded genuinely surprised. I nodded in response. “Well, did you try to explain what happened?”

                “No. I was going to once she saw my face, but it didn’t exactly go the way I wanted. I thought maybe if she heard my thoughts that would allow her to believe it, but I had to restrain her with my wires before she believed it was me.” I put my head in my hands. I truly didn’t know how to handle this. It all sounded so simple in theory. There wasn’t anything to do other than tell her what happened, so why did I hesitate?

                “She was in shock, Walter. You’re her Master that she cares a lot about and-”

                “But you see, Miss Victoria? That’s the bit I don’t understand!” I interrupted her. “She's a vampire, isn’t she? How is she even capable of such feelings?” I demanded. I quickly regretted that outburst. That wasn’t like me at all.

                “After all this time, is that really how you see us?” I could tell by the tone in her voice that she was hurt by what I had just said.

                “Forgive me… That was uncalled for.” I lowered my head. She sighed.

                “In some ways, I would agree with you. Melody is very emotional for a vampire, but she’s still very young. Try to remember that, Walter.  After all, do you feel very different emotionally? Still feel pretty human right?” She tilted her head to the side.

                Right, I was a vampire now too. “Yes well… I didn’t think I would count since I’m artificial. I’m not a true vampire, Miss Victoria.”

                “Don’t be ridiculous. A vampire is a vampire. The method may be different, but the end result is still the same.” She leaned forward. “You don’t become someone like Master overnight. Hell, I’d even go so far as to say that Master isn’t completely heartless. You should have seen what your disappearance did to him.”

                “I have a hard time believing that, Miss Victoria.” I chuckled at the thought of Alucard being upset about anything.

                Miss Victoria shrugged. “The point is, Walter, Melody looks up to you.  To see her Master become something so…” she paused, thinking her next words carefully.  “To see you become what you are now Walter, it must have been heart wrenching. You need to go talk to her. Explain to her that you didn’t make the choice yourself, you were forced into it.”

                “I’ll wait awhile.”

                “No.  You need to go talk to her now.  The sooner the better. Trust me, letting her keep thinking what she thinks happened is the worst thing you can do. Now go talk to her.” She stood up and pointed to the door. I smiled to myself. When Miss Victoria and I used to talk, I was always the one advising her on how to handle Alucard. Now, the tables have turned.

                “Yes, I do suppose you’re right.” I got up.

                “Of course I am!” She put her hands on her hips. “Now get a move on!”

                I laughed. “Thank you, Miss Victoria.” I opened the door and let her walk out first. We walked down the hall 'till we were outside Miss Love’s room and she turned to me.

                “If it goes bad again, I’ll sit down and talk with her myself. Just try to remember how hard this is for her,” she reminded me.

                I nodded. “I appreciate it.”

                Miss Victoria grinned and kept walking down the hall, leaving me to my own devices. I focused my attention on the door in front of me and took a deep breath. This wouldn’t be easy, but I needed to get this problem sorted and I needed to do it fast. I knocked twice on her door with the back of my hand. I could hear a muffled reply and sniffling sounds.

                I twisted the door knob and stuck my head in. Miss Love sat on her bed, her knees brought up to her chest and her head buried in them.

                “Miss Love?”

                “Get out,” she ordered in between the breathless sobbing noises.  I ignored her and walked in, closing the door behind me.

                “Let’s talk.”

                She shook her head. “You swore!” She gasped for air again. “Why did you do it!? Just tell me why!”

                “It wasn’t my choice, Miss,” I answered, striding to the edge of her bed. She looked up. Her face was stained with bloody tears along with the sleeves of her shirt.

                “I don’t believe you,” she scowled. This wasn’t working. I grabbed her by the arms and pulled her up to her feet, growing incredibly tired of this nonsense. “Get your hands off me!” She fought and struggled as I lifted her.

                “You damned, stupid, girl! That’s enough!” I shouted and pulled her in, wrapping my arms around her and holding her tightly against my chest. “I am telling you the truth! I was captured and turned into an artificial vampire by my captors. That is what happened. I did _not_ choose to give up my humanity just like you didn’t choose to give up yours. Now be quiet and listen to me! Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Your actions during my absence were completely unforgivable and inappropriate!”

                “But she was treating you like you were dead! She didn’t care! You’re my Master, how can I just be expected to follow someone who tossed you aside!?” she demanded in between another wave of sobs.

                “Because we are weapons, Miss! That’s all we are and all we ever will be! Weapons! Expendables! I am your Master, but if you don’t get your act together, that may no longer be the case!”

                She gasped and became very still.

                I tried to calm down a bit, talk more quietly. “Sir Integra has said that she will hand you over to Alucard if you don’t start behaving properly. Do you _really_ want that?!”

                She shook her head and latched on me as if her life depended on it. “NO! No please, I’m sorry Master I didn’t mean for that! Please I’m sorry!” she cried. I held her tighter. I knew she was sorry, but it wasn’t me she had to convince. For now I would let her cry into my shoulder, because it really was the only thing I could do.


	6. Learning the Hard Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter is back, and relatively safe, but now he must deal with the nightmares and the disapproval of his apprentice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're getting these all at once. Enjoy~ sorry that the format isn't consistent? This site is difficult to use...

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. A black, twisted figure loomed over me. It held a knife in its hand. I had no resolve to struggle. My body felt dead. ‘This isn’t real!’ I thought. ‘Wake up!’ The figure began to lower the knife towards my chest. I knew what was coming next. ‘Wake up!!’ I tried with all my strength to shake my head. ‘WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!’  
I flung myself up, gasping and looking around wildly at my surroundings, not sure of where I was at first. ‘My room…’ I realized, still breathing heavily. I leaned forward and ran my right hand back through my hair, which was initially plastered to my forehead. Slowly, I was catching my breath. I was home. I’d been home for two weeks now, but these bloody nightmares just wouldn’t quit. I glanced at the clock on my nightstand. It was only 2:00 in the morning. I’d barely been asleep for three hours. I scowled.  
“Fuck this!” I tossed off the sheets and walked over to the window. I leaned forward, resting my forehead on the glass. I could see my red eyes reflecting back at me. This new body still had me doing double-takes every time I passed a mirror. I was getting used to the voice, but I suppose my appearance would still take more time.  
I took another quick look at the clock, half-expecting some large amount of time to have passed. 2:03. I had no interest in just laying there or trying to go back to sleep. I had more than enough nightmares for one night. I walked over to my closet and pulled out my daytime clothes. Maybe I could find something to clean, some paperwork to catch up on, or even better, maybe I could make my way down to the training grounds and try to work some of this stress off. I pulled the white shirt I was wearing over my head and took off the rest of my clothes so I could shower first.  
I decided to keep the water cold. It made me feel a bit better. My thoughts started to wander. There was still so much that I needed to adjust to. Not only did I look and feel younger, but I was acting like it too. I found myself growing impatient and agitated more easily. The urge to speak out of turn was becoming a constant battle. It felt all too familiar. Perhaps if that was the only change I noticed, I would be handling this transformation better, but that wasn’t the case. I felt stronger in every way possible, but it didn’t feel right. When I walked past members of the Wild Geese, I could smell the blood in their veins and hear their hearts beating in their chests. Nothing about that was natural.  
I often wondered if this was what it was like for Miss Love or Miss Victoria after their transformations. They deserved a lot more credit for not letting it show. I was struggling and Miss Love could tell. Our relationship was becoming strained. At first she was concerned and worried about how I was handling the transition. It got annoying and I lashed out at her. I hadn’t meant to, but I did. Miss Love could hear my thoughts, she was used to my sarcasm and dry sense of humor. It was the anger she wasn’t used to seeing. It bothered her, and the fact that I was a vampire now certainly wasn’t helping. After all, how could her Master, the “Angel of Death”, become something so impure? It was getting out of hand. She rarely addressed me as Master anymore . It was always “Yes, sir,” or “No, sir,” if she talked to me at all. I didn’t exactly love it when she called me Master. In fact I hated it, but I wasn’t going to tolerate blatant disrespect. It needed to stop, but I wasn’t sure of how go about the issue. Yelling at her would probably only further prove her argument that I wasn’t the same person. Another option was sitting down and talking to her, maybe to try and sort things out more calmly, but I wasn’t very good at long, heartfelt conversations. How would I even go about such a thing? ‘Hello Miss Love, I’ve noticed you can’t stand to look me in the eyes and have barely said two words to me in the past week! Let’s sit down and talk about it!’ That sounded like a horrible idea, but I honestly didn’t see any other option.  
I sighed and twisted the knob, turning off the stream of water that was pouring onto my head. I stepped out of the shower and toweled off so I could get dressed. Once I was clothed and decent, I quickly ran a comb through my hair and put on my white gloves. I took another look in the mirror. I was beginning to question why I ever grew my hair out in the first place. It looked better like this.  
I left my room and made my way downstairs to the basement training area where Miss Love and I usually practiced. I was surprised to find Alucard standing in the doorway, his arms crossed as he peered into the room.  
“Up again, Walter?” he remarked. His orange sunglasses concealed his eyes, making it impossible to tell if he was actually making eye contact.  
I rolled my eyes. “No, I’m sleepwalking.”  
He smirked. “Not to worry, little angel, you’re not the only one.”  
“Hmm?” I raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore the fact that he’d just used my old nickname. I walked closer and turned from Alucard to the doorway to get a better look inside. Miss Love stood in the center of the room, rendering an already destroyed wooden cutout into nothing but wood chips and splinters. “God-fucking-damn it…” I muttered as I leaned up against the wall. ‘So much for working off the stress!’ I pulled out my pack of cigarettes and my lighter, lighting one and taking a long drag. “How long has she been at it?” I asked, offering the box to Alucard as I slowly breathed out the fumes.  
“Since you went to bed.” He took a cigarette. “The little girl has barely slept in three days.”  
“Well that would explain her horrible stance,” I observed as I shoved the box in my back pocket once more.  
Suddenly, Miss Love retracted her thin wires back into her hand and went over to the pile of cut out targets to retrieve a new one. When it was set up, she made her way to the steel chest in the corner that held all of the other weapons people commonly used in training, and pulled out a set of throwing knives.  
“When did she start using other weapons, and more importantly, how did she get the key to the armory?” I shot Alucard a dirty look.  
He chuckled as he blew out some smoke. “What can I say? I stole it from your room a week ago. I wanted to see what she could do with other weapons. Now watch, Angel, your girl has proven to be quite deadly when given a blade.”  
I watched as she got into her fighting stance. It wasn’t nearly as bad as a few moments ago, if only she would learn to lower her damn shoulders. She was focused and either still hadn’t noticed us, or she just didn’t care. She reared her right side back and paused for a moment, before thrusting and swinging forward, her hand flicking outward a total of three times as her body twisted and turned in the fluid, rapid movements that maintained enough momentum to allow her to throw the knives so quickly. The first one struck the left eye of the dummy, the second sank into its heart, and the third one flew square into the crotch.  
I cringed. “Why do I get the feeling she’s picturing my face on that cutout?”  
He chuckled. “This little lover’s quarrel you two have going is quite intense.”  
“Oh, come off it already! How many bloody times do I have to tell you that the very idea that she fancies me, her Master, is absurd.” I glared at him.  
“Then perhaps 'long-lost granddaughter' is a better fit?” he sneered back.  
“That’s even less likely.” I snorted. By this time Miss Love had pulled out the knives and thrown them a second time, much in the same, rapid manner as the first. This time they all went straight down the middle of the dummy.  
“Right, of course it is. Whatever this issue between the two of you is, I’d fix it and fast. You do know what will happen if you can’t control her, right?” It sounded more like a threat than a reminder.I watched Miss Love retrieve the knives again. Of course I knew what would happen if this continued. Her apology had gone well with Sir Integra, but I could tell she was watching her like a hawk. One more slip up and I would lose her as my apprentice. I would do anything to stop that from happening.  
“I know…” I finally answered in a low tone.  
“Then get on with it.” He motioned for me to go over to her.  
“Oh yes, now, when the girl has a set of knives, I should go talk to her and possibly start an argument. Are you mad?” I put out the remainder of my cigarette on the stone wall.  
He laughed again and then turned his attention back to Miss Love, who had just tried to embed another three knives into the wooden figure. The third one missed entirely. “Nice throwing, girl,” he called.  
“Shut it!” she barked and turned to us, baring her fangs. However, when she saw me it quickly melted away into a look of shock. She hadn’t noticed my arrival after all. That certainly wasn’t like her. Our red eyes met for a moment and then hers fell to the floor. “Good morning, sir,” she greeted with a small bow. Her tone wasn’t exactly friendly.  
“Good morning, Miss…” I gave a small nod in return.  
Alucard turned to leave. “Good luck, Angel.” He disappeared into the wall in front of him. I redirected my attention to Miss Love, who was standing there awkwardly. I walked over to her.  
“Is something the matter, sir?” she asked, although it was without genuine concern. She kept her eyes on the floor.  
“Yes, as a matter a fact there is something wrong,” I replied, “We need to talk about your recent behavior.”  
“I’m afraid I don’t understand, sir.”  
“Oh, come now. You know exactly what I’m talking about. You haven’t called me 'Master' in well over a week, you barely speak to me, and you won’t even so much as look me in the eyes. It’s gone on long enough,” I pointed out. Dancing around the subject wasn’t going to do any good.  
“My apologies, Master. That was not my intent.” There was absolutely no sincerity in her voice.  
“Like hell it wasn’t. You and I both know this is about my transformation. It’s time to get over it,” I ordered.  
“Sir, I really think this is a misunderstanding.” She was clenching her teeth between her words.  
“There’s no misunderstanding. You’ve been acting strange ever since my return.”  
“Excuse me?!” she snapped, “I’m not the one who decided to treat their apprentice like shit when they were only trying to help!”  
“I don’t need your help, Miss.” This wasn’t going well. I had gone about this all wrong, but there was no turning back now.  
“Bullshit!” she shouted, “Do you honestly think I haven’t noticed?! You’re going about your day on autopilot. It’s like you’re not even there, and whenever you’re not working or instructing me, you stare off into space! Your thoughts are a complete mess, You’ve barely slept in two weeks, and when you do, I can hear you crying out from the nightmares. You’re an absolute wreck, and you want me to just act like everything is fine?!”  
“This isn’t about me!” I yelled back, “This is about you and your inability to accept the fact that I’m a vampire now. You still believe that I chose this even though I've told you otherwise!”  
“That is not the problem here!”  
“Then what is it?!” I demanded, although a tiny splinter in my mind already knew what she was about to say.  
“You are not the man I called my Master! You used to be so kind. I’m not saying you never got angry, because I know you did, but you never lashed out. You were never so cruel to me like you are now! I don’t feel like your apprentice anymore, I feel like your bloody servant!” I could see she was fighting back red tears in her eyes.  
There it was. I already knew that’s what she thought, but to hear her say it out loud was far more painful. There was no denying that I had been horrible to her in the past two weeks. I couldn’t take any of that back. Was it over, then? Did I have any choice but to hand her over to Alucard? No! I would not let her go so easily! We had worked too hard and spent too much time to let all of this collapse at the drop of a hat.  
“So what you’re saying, Miss, is that you no longer think I’m worthy of being your Master, am I correct?” I questioned. She turned away suddenly. She had not expected me to be so blunt about it, but the expression on her face told me I was right.  
“If you had just talked to me-“  
“No,” I cut her off, “The time for talking is over, Miss.” Her eyes widened. “We’re going to settle this another way.” I pulled my black gloves out of my pocket. “I will prove to you that I am still your Master.”  
She looked me directly in the eyes. I could tell she was listening to my thoughts, and she knew I was dead serious. Miss Love slid her gloves on, adjusting them tightly. “Fine. I accept.”  
“If you think you can kill me, then I invite you do so,” I added. I highly doubted she was capable of it, but that didn’t stop a very small part of me from wishing that she would.  
“And if I can’t?” she asked.  
“Then you’ll have your proof. We will go back to being Master and apprentice, and if I ever hear a word of this nonsense again, you’ll be handed over to Alucard.” I flexed my wrist, allowing the wires to flow out from my hand.  
“Fair enough.” She smirked.  
“Come on then.” I motioned. “Let’s have it.”  
She was fast. Before I could finish speaking, she was already at least ten feet in the air, coming at me with the wires already whipping around her. I sidestepped the first two whips sent at my chest and bent over backwards, letting the third sail over my head.  
‘Wait, no!’ I realized too late as I felt one wrap around my ankle. She pulled my legs right out from under me and I landed hard on my back, my head bouncing off the concrete.  
Another flick of her arm and I could feel the wires constrict around my neck. I’d been careless. I hadn’t taken her seriously, not even for a second. She hovered over me, pulling the wires tighter, making it impossible to breathe. Not even ten seconds in and she already had me in check.  
“Angel of death?! Don’t make me laugh! How pathetic! If you don’t get your act together…” She tightened again. “I will kill you!”  
I kicked out one of her knees, breaking her concentration for a few crucial moments. She stumbled backwards, allowing me to grab her wires and loosen them by hand. I pulled them over my head and pushed myself to my feet, gasping for air.  
She ran at me again. I took the opportunity to kick her into the wall as she raised her arms for an attack. The sound of her head hitting the stone echoed in the large room. She fell to the floor, face down. She was motionless. Had I knocked her out already? I started to take a step towards her when she coughed and began to push herself back up on her feet. She was bleeding.  
She began to laugh, tilting her head to the side and looking directly at me with a crazed glare in her eyes. “YES, THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! SHOW ME WHAT YOU CAN REALLY DO, WALTER C. DORNEZ!” Miss Love lunged at me with her left arm pulled back. I stepped to the side and grabbed her by her wrist, tossing her back into the wall. When she picked herself up again, she looked back at me. Blood was dripping down her forehead. She smiled. She was enjoying this, and to be honest so was I.  
It was my turn to make the first move. I darted towards her, pulling my right arm back and curling my fingers into a tight fist. She narrowly ducked below my punch as the flurry of exchanged blows continued.  
This whole thing had degraded into a fist fight. We weren’t testing skill anymore, and we certainly weren’t trying to kill each other. It was simply how many times could we punch each other 'till one of us stopped getting back up. We both took our fair share of hits and it went on for quite a while. By the time I could no longer move, neither could she. Miss Love was on the floor beside me. Both of us were badly bruised and heavily bleeding. After we had a moment to catch our breath, I could hear her start to laugh. A lighthearted giggle that made me smile. I found myself laughing with her. It was painful, but it didn’t matter. She looked over to me as I wiped a tear out of my eye that was brought on by both the laughter and the searing pain in my chest.  
“Master?”  
“Yes, Miss?” I answered, attempting to pull myself together.  
“I’m sorry.” The words made me stop. I could tell she was sincere, but it really didn’t need to be said. That’s what this fight had been about. I knew she was sorry.  
“About what?” I asked as I tried to reach for my cigarettes.  
“About almost breaking your arm.” She grinned. My left arm was throbbing, but, thankfully, I didn’t think she actually broke it.  
“And I’m sorry for throwing you into the wall,” I apologized, although I was still laughing a bit.  
“Twice,” she added.  
“No, only the second time. You deserved it the first time,” I corrected with a grin as I flicked open my lighter.  
“Yeah, I did,” she snickered and curled into a ball on her side. “Owww, why did you have to hit me in the ribs so many times?” she groaned.  
“Because you left yourself wide open,” I said with a smile.  
“Really? I thought it was because you were an arsehole,” she cursed.  
“That too.”  
Despite how little I wanted to get up off the floor, I knew we couldn’t lay here forever. I slowly sat up. Miss Love was much faster getting on her feet. “Here.” She offered me her hand. I took it and she helped pull me up. That felt better. It wasn’t the same as before my transformation. No, I doubted that things would ever be like that again, and to be perfectly honest, I didn’t want them to. Before she became my apprentice, she much less reserved and I missed it. That is what I wanted. As we started to walk down the hallway, Miss Love turned to me. “So, what are you going to do with the rest of your time this morning, Master?” she asked. I had a feeling she had something in mind. There was still some time before we had to be productive.  
“Well…” I started. “How long do think my injuries are going to take to heal?”  
“Based on the fact that the black eye I gave you is already changing color, I’d say maybe a few hours.” She pulled off her black gloves and replaced them with her white ones, still speaking to me. “You should rest.”  
‘Resting is boring.’ I thought to myself, sucking in the burning ash of my cigarette.  
“As if paperwork and polishing the silver is any less dull,” she commented.  
“Fair point.” I smirked. “Before we do anything, I think we should patch ourselves up a bit. I’d rather we didn’t waste time scrubbing blood stains out of the carpet again.” I frowned, thinking back to the countless times Alucard would bring something dead into the estate and I’d be left to try and get the stains out.  
“No argument there.” We made our way to a small room in the sub basement that contained the medical supplies. Once we were bandaged, we went up to the ground floor.  
“What are you planning to do now, Miss?” I asked as we walked.  
She stopped and pulled back her sleeve to look at her watch. She smiled and grabbed me by the wrist. “Come with me!” she instructed, pulling me along. She led me up to the third floor.  
“Where are we going?” I demanded, wishing she would let go of my arm. It still hurt from her trying to snap it two.  
“It’s a surprise, okay?” Miss Love glanced back at me with a look of excitement on her face. We went up the next flight of stairs that led to the roof and the helipad. We stepped outside into early morning light. A steady breeze was blowing up here. I reached for my pocket watch and checked the time. It read 5:35.  
“Miss Love, what are we up here for?” I asked. The sun would be rising soon.  
“Sunrise,” she said almost automatically, letting go of my arm and walking over to the edge of the platform. The wind blew her ponytail over her shoulder. “It’s going to be beautiful this morning, I can tell.”  
“You shouldn’t be out here, Miss! You’ll-“  
“Burn up?” she finished for me. Miss Love glanced back at me with a strangely sad smile on her face. I nodded. “I think I’ll be okay.” She sat down, letting her legs dangle off the edge of the roof. “It’s fine if you don’t want to join me, I’m used to doing this alone anyway.”  
I looked out over the horizon. The sky and the distant clouds were turning pink and orange now. “I don’t know if I understand, Miss… Just how often do you do this?” I asked. She couldn’t be serious could she? This was incredibly stupid.  
“Every day,” she responded cheerfully, “Now, c’mon, when’s the last time you sat down and watched the sunrise?”  
‘Never…’ Was the first thing I thought.  
“What?!” Miss Love exclaimed. “What do you mean 'never'?!”  
I shrugged. “I honestly don’t think I've ever had the time to watch it. I don’t see the point.”  
She frowned. “Why does there need to be a point?”  
I wasn’t quite sure how to answer that. “Well... you see- It’s just I-“ I stuttered and stammered. Weren’t there better ways to use my time than watch something that happens every day?  
She sighed unhappily and turned back towards the sky. “Come sit down, Master. There is a reason for this, after all.” It sounded like less of a request now.  
Although I didn’t understand, I decided to play along. I walked to edge of the rooftop and sat down beside her. I could see the hint of a smile on her face, but kept her eyes forward.  
A few moments later, the sun started to rise above the trees. It was bright, but actually quite stunning. I looked over at Miss Love, who was entranced by its almost blinding light. The orange beams lit up her face and reflected in her red eyes.  
‘Beautiful…’ was the only thing that popped into my head.  
“It is beautiful, isn’t it?” she said with a sense of longing in her voice, “Can I make a request, Master?” she asked.  
“What is it?”  
“Will you put aside that pride of yours for a few minutes and talk to me? Stop avoiding my questions, stop trying to handle all this on your own for just a few minutes? Talk to me and tell me the truth?” she pleaded.  
I frowned. The idea made me uncomfortable. I disliked sharing my thoughts with people, and it’s not as though anyone had ever cared enough to ask in the past. This girl wasn’t just asking me to tell her the truth. She was asking me to trust her. That was… difficult. I didn’t even fully trust Alucard, the only friend I have ever had. I trusted Sir Integra, but that was because she was once like a daughter to me. Our relationship had changed quite a bit since she became head of the organization.  
I could trust Miss Love, in theory. I had no doubt that if I were to tell her anything she’d keep it to herself, but… she was my apprentice. It didn’t seem appropriate.  
As hesitant as I was there was, something inside me that wanted to talk about it. She knew better than anyone what I was going through. Maybe she really could help me. After a long period of silence I gave a small nod that she may not have visibly noticed, but my thoughts were clear enough.  
“How are you handling it?” she asked. It was an open question. My first instinct was to say I was handling it fine, but that was a lie.  
“I’m not.” It came out only above a whisper. She nodded. She already knew that. It was obvious that I was a wreck. I shook my head.  
“What is it?” Miss Love questioned.  
“Why are we doing this? Can’t you just read my mind?” I demanded.  
“This isn’t about me knowing what’s going through your head. This is about you consciously figuring out how to cope with what you’re going through,” she explained, “Now how exactly are you ‘not dealing with it’?”  
I laughed at the question. “Nothing’s changed has it? You, Seras, Alucard, Sir Integra, the Wild Geese, you’re all still here. Nothing’s changed, and somehow everything has changed!”  
She didn’t make a comment, just nodded.  
“...I don’t recognize myself,” I admitted, “I’m not even a real vampire, just some fucking Nazi science experiment gone horribly wrong. I wanted to die Miss, as a human! I wanted to live and die as I was, and now I can’t! Unless this stability isn’t permanent I’m going to be alive until someone kills me or I-” I stopped suddenly. Was I really about to say it? Admit that the thought had crossed my mind?  
“Or what?” she urged me on, although she already knew what it was. She had to have known, but she needed to hear me say it aloud.  
I shook my head, waving my left hand. “No, I would never…!” I began, defensively. I wasn’t really going to do it, I knew that for a fact. Sure, maybe for a split second I had contemplated it, but I would never actually consider it seriously.  
“I never said you would.”  
I scowled. “That isn’t the problem.” I changed the subject. “I don’t feel like myself.”  
“How so?” she asked.  
I looked down. “I like killing things, Miss. I always have. I wouldn’t exactly call myself a psychopath, but why not? They aren’t human, or even if they were I wouldn’t mind tearing them apart if I needed to. That being said, I never wished for it, you understand?” I tried to explain, but I truthfully didn’t know if I was making much sense. “I’ve never wanted someone to die so badly before. Just the thought of a vampire attack happening somewhere is exciting.”  
She nodded again. “Does that bother you?”  
“Of course it bothers me! I’m losing my humanity more and more by the day.” I lowered my head further, feeling sick to my stomach as the words and thoughts continued to flow freely. It was too much to say at once. I wanted to stop.  
“Master?”  
I looked up. She was starting to turn a bit red. She would start to burn up any minute now.  
“Look.” She motioned towards the sun.  
“Miss, you’re-“  
“I know, we’ll go inside in a minute. Just humor me,” she assured me. I did as she instructed and looked at the sun, which was now almost completely above the tree tops. “Just a few moments ago, you said how beautiful the sun was.”  
Where was she going with this? She didn’t have time to get all metaphorical and dramatic.  
“The blood lust does not make you a monster, Master. Depending on your actions and choices, that will get easier to control as time goes on. What makes you a monster is if you decide to go out and murder people in cold blood or simply for the entertainment of it all. That is what a monster is. The vampires that murdered my family were monsters. The so called 'men' that turned you into a vampire were monsters. You do not lose your humanity so easily. You have to choose to forget. Do you understand?” she asked. I nodded, partly because I did understand and partly because I was afraid she would burst into flames if we didn’t get inside right this second. She smiled sweetly.  
At that moment, I jumped to my feet. “Please, Miss, you’re going to die if we don’t get you inside now!” I begged her. She frowned and stood up.  
“I know.” She stared at the sun just a moment longer. “But this is one of those things I have to hold on to.” She walked ahead of me and disappeared down the stairs. I went after her and we were walking abreast moments later.  
“Miss?”  
“Don’t worry, I know. This never happened,” she said, the serious look on her face had already been replaced with the cheerful façade she was always keeping up. It was somewhat frightening how quickly she could go between them. “I don’t know about you, but I am starving. Wanna go grab a blood packet?” she asked with a toothy grin.  
“I’ll pass. I’ve still got a pile of paperwork to catch up on and then you and I have errands to run this morning, although…” I looked her over. “Maybe you should stay behind this time. I think you’ve gotten enough sunlight for a month.”  
“No, please don’t say that! I can still come! You know how important that is to me! I haven’t left the estate in a week! A week!” she repeated in a rushed, anxious tone, “If I don’t get out of here, I’m going to go insane! I’ll burn this place to the ground or commit mass murder, or, or…” she stuttered frantically, “I’ll bother Alucard while he’s trying to sleep!”  
That last one was worse. “I think I’d prefer the mass murder and arson,” I said dryly as I reached into my back pocket for my cigarettes. Her melodrama was certainly amusing, but it was a wonder I hadn’t taken up smoking again sooner because of it.  
“Please, Master, don’t leave me here! I told you I do this every morning! As soon as I eat something I’ll be fine!” She looked up at me with stereotypical sad puppy-dog eyes.  
“Fine,” I finally spoke. I took a long drag on my cigarette. I was beginning to question why I ever gave it up in the first place.  
“Because you didn’t want lung cancer,” Miss Love answered flatly, reminding me how open my mind still was.  
“Stop reading my mind.”  
“Stop thinking so loud.”  
I groaned and kept walking, taking a turn down the first hallway we came across on the third floor which led to my office. “At 10:00, we’re leaving. If you’re even a minute late, I’m leaving without you!” I called back to her.  
“Yes, sir!” she said in a disturbingly cheerful voice. I simply tried to ignore her. When I got to my office, I found Alucard sitting on my desk in a casual repose, much to my dismay.  
“What now?” I demanded. God forbid I get a moment to myself.  
“You look like hell, Angel,” he sneered.  
“Piss off! I’ve got work to do! Why don’t you go pester someone else?” I suggested, but doubted it would actually do anything.  
“Already tried that with Integra.”  
“Let me guess. She shot you,” I assumed.  
“Yep.” He yawned, leaning backwards.  
“I’ve told you before not to bother her this early in the morning. Why don’t you go bother Miss Victoria, or better yet,” I snapped, “You could go to sleep and leave me the hell alone. Now get off of my desk!” I ordered.  
“I’m going to take this as an indication that your conversation with the little girl did not go well.” He silently stepped on to the floor and stood with his hands in his pockets.  
“It went fine. The matter has been settled and will never be spoken of again,” I contradicted.  
“I see.” He frowned.  
“What, are you disappointed?” I asked.  
“Of course I am. It would have been nice having another fledgling serve me. I’m bored, Walter. There hasn’t been a vampire attack since we got back and we both know that the next attack has already been handed to your apprentice so she can get some damn experience already.” He glided over to the chair that was by the bookcase and sat down. “I can tell she’s getting bored fending off wooden figures. She’s itching to rip something made of flesh and blood apart again!” he exclaimed with a chilling laugh.  
“What are you going on about now? She only ever killed one person.” I pulled out a sheet of paper from the stack and handed it to him. “If you’re going to stay here and bother me, the least you could do is make yourself useful. That’s the order form for the hospital that donates blood to us. Fill it out,” I instructed, tossing him a pen which he caught without looking.  
“Did she tell you that?” he asked, clicking the pen.  
“Yes,” I responded, grabbing the first packet of papers off the top and picking up my own pen.  
“Well, that was a lie. A bad one, at that,” he said without looking up.  
“She told me that the only person she ever killed was the vampire that turned her,” I reminded him. I didn’t see myself getting much work done while he was here.  
“And you believed her?” He chuckled. “I’ve got news for you, Angel. Your girl is not as innocent as she seems. You should know from my imprisonment that a vampire becomes a dried up corpse if they don’t feed. She would have died very quickly.”  
“What about animal blood?” I questioned.  
Alucard shook his head. “She couldn’t walk. How was she supposed to hunt animals? No, Melody was a hardened killer by the time she showed up here.”  
I didn’t want to believe him. Miss Love was very kind and hated the idea of killing humans, and it was only moments ago that she had taught me about “holding on to humanity”, but that wasn’t the reality. She was a vampire. For once, Alucard may have been telling the truth. “Why wouldn’t she tell me this?” I asked out loud.  
“That’s an obvious question. She thinks very highly of you. Even though she knows what you’ve done. She was afraid, Walter,” he explained.  
‘Of what?’ I wondered. “It’s not as though I would have looked at her any differently.”  
Again, Alucard shook his head. “That doesn’t matter. She is convinced that if you know what she’s done you’ll see her the same way you do me. Why wouldn’t she hide such a thing from the man she idolizes and even seems to love?”  
I scowled. He brought up this whole “love” concept whenever he could. It was getting irritating. “How many do you suppose she’s killed?”  
Alucard shrugged. “Who knows? I’m sure it’s no staggering number, but it’s at least in the double digits. To be honest, Walter, I truly believe that if she didn’t have you to keep her in check, she’d be quite the fearsome creature.” He yawned again and got up with the paper in his hand. “Hope you like A-negative.” He handed the form to me. “Anyway, Angel, I’m off to bed. Enjoy your paperwork.” He strolled back across the room and disappeared into the wall.  
I exhaled a sigh of relief. Now that he was gone, I could focus and get something done for a change. I began reading through the paper in front of me. ‘A damage report? What for?’ I wondered. It had been typed up by Miss Love in my absence. I began reading the following page. ‘What in the seven layers of Hell…?’ I kept going. ‘An explosion in the estate? Who in their right mind would-’ I finally came upon the explanation. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me…” I thought out loud.


	7. Cruelty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Melody receives her first assignment. While confident in her abilities her emotions get the better of her with devastating consequences. Meanwhile Walter begins to feel ill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being gone so long. College is life consuming.

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V.**

**August 12 th 2006**

 

“So, let me get this straight…” I hissed out as Miss Love and I were driving back to the estate. It was nearly five in the afternoon. She had somehow managed to scrunch herself into a ball in the seat, so that she looked like a pink mass with feet. Meanwhile I was gripping the steering wheel, ready to take someone’s head off. “You attempted to cook something, and in the process, you blew up one of the ovens?”

                “Yep,” she answered in a deadpan voice that suggested she wasn’t in the mood for a lecture.

                “Why?!” I demanded, “You don’t eat human food!”

                “I like cooking. It’s good stress relief,” she explained.

                “Yes, well, your stress relief is costing us over one thousand pounds,” I seethed. This simple errand run had turned into a nightmare. I had forgotten that I look like I’m twenty years old, not seventy-five. I was now lying to every shop keeper that I’d ever known, some for over fifty years. It was only due to Miss Love’s quick thinking that things didn’t get messy. Apparently, Walter C. Dornez is now dead and I am his grandson with the same name, whom he had somehow neglected to mention… ever. For those who needed more convincing, I had Miss Love, who was becoming a familiar face, talk to them. I had never been so thankful for her brainwashing abilities. That being said, it had exhausted her completely. By the time we had reached our last stop, she was barely able to keep up with me.

                “You’re also forgetting that in your absence, I was required to cook for Sir Integra,” she reminded me, “I went to turn on the oven and apparently there had been a gas leak, like I said in the report. It was not intentional and I already stated that you can take what little of a paycheck I have to repair it. I don’t know how many more ways I can tell you that I’m sorry!” she poured forth.  I sighed. I shouldn’t be this angry with her when I considered how many times she had saved my ass today, but it was a difficult thing to just brush off.  I took a deep breath. _‘Stay calm. She apologized and we needed to update the kitchen anyways, so just relax.’_ I thought to myself.

                “It’s fine,” I assured her, although my voice sounded strained.

                The rest of the ride back was silent. We were both exhausted and irritated. Miss Love was still in rough shape from the fight this morning and I had started feeling sick a few hours ago. It was probably just the sunlight. I didn’t burn up like true vampires, but I wasn’t completely immune to it either.  Upon arriving back at the estate, we unpacked the car and went inside.

 

                To my surprise, we found Miss Victoria sitting at the bottom of the staircase. She sat with her arms crossed and head down.

                “Miss Victoria, you’re awake?” It wasn’t typical for her to up and about this early in the evening.  She looked up at us sleepily.

                “Where have you two been? You were gone all day,” she questioned.  Miss Love put down the bag she was carrying and took off her jacket.

                “Sorry it took so long. There were a lot of places to go and it took quite a while to conjure up a believable story for Master.” She smiled. Any signs of distress or exhaustion were already hidden from view.   Seras jumped to her feet and ran up to us.

                “What on earth has happened to you Melody? Who did this to you?”

                “What do you mean?”

                “Just look at you!” she exclaimed, “You look like you’ve been hit by a car!”

                “Oh you mean the bruise?” Miss Love pointed to the bruise on her cheek. “Master and I were doing some sparring this morning and it got rather heated. That’s all. Nothing to worry about.” She waved it off.

                “Is this true, Walter?” Miss Victoria demanded, with a glare.

                “Yes,” I admitted, “Is there a problem, Miss Victoria?” I didn’t have anything to be ashamed of. It was a fair fight and I didn’t have the patience to put up with being accused of otherwise.

                “No,” she answered flatly and turned back to Miss Love, “Anyway, Melody, I’m up because I need to talk to you about _that thing_.”

                “Something happened?” Melody asked, one of her eyebrows arched questioningly. Seras nodded, and glanced up at me.

                “Let’s go.” Seras grabbed her friend by the wrist and started tugging her along.

                “I’m afraid you two will have to chat later, police girl,” Alucard called down to her from the top of the stairs.

                “Master?” Miss Victoria skidded to a halt and looked up at the cloaked figure nervously.

                Alucard nodded. Seras looked back at us with wide eyes. He had obviously just told her something through telepathy.

                “Our Master is demanding your presence in her office. Go now,” he ordered. It was directed at Miss Love and I. Miss Victoria let go of her arm and took a step back.

                “Good luck, Mel. I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.” She shot me a concerned look. I knew what it meant. We were getting an assignment. Seras took the bags from the two of us and strode off down the hallway.

                We climbed the stairs to the third floor. Miss Love walked in front of me. I don’t think she knew what she was walking into, but I could sense how nervous she was. The relationship between her and Sir Integra was rocky at best. I kept quiet. Calling attention to her anxiety would only make it worse.

                We walked into Sir Integra’s office to find her sitting at her desk, staring at her computer screen and smoking what was likely her seventh cigar of the day.

                “What took you so long? You’ve been gone all day,” she inquired, not bothering to look up.

                “My deepest apologies, Ma’am.” We bowed our heads. Miss Love remained silent.

                “Melody?” she called. Miss Love raised her head.

                “Y-yes, Sir?” she responded. I tried to pretend that I didn’t hear her stutter.

                “We have received word of a string of attacks in a town outside of Manchester. Due to the nature of these attacks, we determined it to be the work of vampires. You’ve had more than enough time to prepare yourself for this, so I expect you to eliminate them without any problems. Am I clear?”

                “Of course, Sir,” Melody responded curtly and attentively.

                “Get yourselves armed and move out. You are dismissed.” She waved us off.

 

                Down in the armory, Miss Love and I were silently getting ourselves together. In the very back was a box that only I had the key to. I opened it and pulled out my old silver knife. I never actually used it, but it was something that I carried with me on all of my assignments. I suppose it was a bit of superstition that as long as I had it, I could get out of any situation, no matter how hopeless it was. I had left it behind on the assignment to South America, and I would be lying if I said I didn't think I would still be a human if I had taken the dagger with me.

                I kept it in its scabbard and latched it to one of the belt loops on my right hip. I turned back to Miss Love, who was silently adjusting her black gloves. She would be fine. She was more than capable of handling a few vampires by herself. There was nothing to worry about, but it didn’t alleviate how uneasy I felt about this mission. Observing her from the moment we received our orders to now, it was clear she was not at all mentally prepared for what we were about to see. Her mind was shutting down. I needed to do something to get her to relax a bit. I did have that one thing I made for her many weeks ago. Maybe that would brighten her spirits.

                “Miss, will you follow me for a moment?” I requested. Miss Love nodded, walking with me up to the second floor and to my room. She stood outside the doorway. “You can come in.” I motioned for her to step inside. She did so hesitantly. I had made it painfully clear that she was never to be in here without my permission after last time.  I opened the bottom drawer in my desk and pulled out a box. I used a different key to unlock it and took out a pistol. I passed it to her. “I made this for you just after you became my apprentice. It’s an anti-freak combat pistol. It’s similar to Alucard’s, but smaller and fires simpler rounds. They’re silver bullets, so they’ll still take out any target you need them to, but it’s just a precaution. Use it only if you need to. I want you to take this assignment as an opportunity to practice with the wires. Understand?” Her reaction, or lack thereof, was concerning. She only made a simple nod in reply. I had never seen her so quiet.

“We should get going. It’ll be dark soon and they’ll strike again as soon as the sun has set.”

                “Yes sir.”

* * *

 

 

                It took us nearly four hours to reach our destination. That wasn’t good news. If they were going to strike tonight, it may have already happened. The delay seemed to only provoke more anxiety out of Miss Love.  When we finally arrived at the site where the police were stationed, we were lucky that they had already been informed of our arrival, thus skipping the usual, “Who the fuck are you and why are you here?!” spiel.

                “Mr. Dornez and Ms. Love I presume?” an officer asked us as he approached.

                “Yes.  Now if you’ll excuse us, sir, we have no time for lengthy introductions and explanations. We will take care of this situation. If you value your lives I would advise that you and your men stay out of our way.” Miss Love bluntly stepped forward and told him. I was just as shocked as the officer. To hear her talk in such a way was even more unnerving than the silence.

                “Of course, ma’am, but don’t you need to know their location?” he reminded her.

                “No. Let’s go, Master.” She offered no further explanation and began walking down the street. I caught up with her so we could walk abreast one another. As curious as her behavior was, I needed to push those thoughts aside. We had more pressing issues at the moment.

                “Miss, how do you know where they are?” I questioned.

                “Can’t you smell it?” She glanced up at me. “Our kind has a very distinct scent.”

                “Really?” I asked as we continued to walk up the street. It made me wonder why she didn’t recognize the fact that I had transformed the moment I stepped foot inside the estate.

                “You’re a newborn vampire. You still smell human to me,” she explained, “After a few weeks of drinking blood, it will change. Have you tried any yet?”

                _‘Damn…’_ I thought. I hadn’t had any blood to drink since I turned, but that was only because I never felt hungry. I was artificial. I wasn’t sure if I even needed it.

                “No Miss, I have not,” I admitted.

                “I see…” She frowned as she murmured. Miss Love suddenly stopped me. “There.” She pointed to a brick house coming up on our right. “Your orders, Master?” Normally I would have suggested that she take out the vampires and ignore any ghouls, since they would drop dead the moment their host was killed. However, this was her first assignment. I had no idea what would happen when we got inside that house. Would she be able to take out our targets easily or would she freeze up? The best case scenario would be if the bloodshed snapped her out of this daze and made her happy. She was a vampire, after all.

                “I want you to take out any ghouls in your way first. Then you can go after the vampires,” I instructed. She nodded.

                “What about survivors?” she asked quietly.

                “I will take care of any survivors we encounter. Eliminating the vampire so it can’t strike again is always your top priority.” I knew she wasn’t going to like that answer.

                “Yes, sir,” she said monotonously.  We walked up the driveway and onto the front steps. I stood back. This was her assignment. The only reason I was here was to make sure she didn’t get herself killed.  Miss Love remained completely statuesque for a moment before she flicked her hands forward and tore the door off of its hinges using her wires. She pushed it to the side and walked into the dark house. I followed quietly.  In the hallway, one ghoul was waiting for her. With a short flex of her wrist, its head separated from its shoulders. Blood splattered across the nearby wall as the body crumpled to the floor with a thud. Miss Love whirled to the right and lifted her arm above her head, before pulling down sharply. I heard the thumping of two more bodies hitting the floor.

                _‘Not bad. All of those endless hours spent training in the middle of the night are actually paying off,_ ’ I thought. She was doing well, much better than I had anticipated. I was actually quite proud of her. I knew something like this couldn’t be easy, but she was getting it done. ‘ _She just needs some more experience.’_

She continued down the hall, checking all the rooms on the first floor. When we came to the last room, she stopped suddenly. The wires fell limp and retracted back into her hands. Perhaps I had spoken too soon. She took two steps forward. I stepped inside the room with her. In front of us stood a ghoul that was once a young girl. What little clothes she had on had been ripped and torn apart by an unknown assailant. Her rotting body was covered in blood. One of her arms was twisted and hung uselessly at her side. It certainly wasn’t a pretty sight. This was the one thing I never wanted to see. I walked to Miss Love’s side. She stared straight ahead with a horrified expression, as if I was completely invisible.

                “What is it, Miss?” I asked, quietly. She didn’t seem to hear me. The ghoul turned its attention to us at the sound of my voice. It staggered forward, reaching out with its one good arm and growling at us. Miss Love took another step towards it.

                “Master… It’s just a little girl…” It almost sounded like she was shocked.

                “It _was_ a little girl, Miss. Not anymore,” I corrected, “There’s no way to save her.” As horrific as it was, she couldn’t start thinking like that.

                “No, I... I don’t understand, Master. Why is this girl a ghoul?” she asked, shaking her head before looking back at me. I could start to see red tears forming in her eyes.

                “She was bitten and drained of her blood. You know that,” I reminded her.

                “Just look at her! She can’t be more than eight years old! You told me that…” she trailed off, “This girl should be a vampire.”

                The realization of what she was implying had finally hit me. I looked at the ghoul that was inching closer. Her grotesque features and shredded clothes. The thought was sickening, but what other explanation was there?  Miss Love knelt down and reached out to the creature.

                “Miss, what are you doing? She can still hurt you!” She ignored me and put her hand on the ghoul’s head, stopping the weak, shambling corpse from moving any further.

                “Oh, you poor thing. Look what those monsters have done to you.” The ghoul let out a high pitched shrieking sound as it tried to reach for Miss Love, fighting against her hand. “Shh, it’s okay. It’s all over. They won’t hurt you again.” She reached for the gun at her waist. If she fired that gun, the vampires would know we were here, if they didn’t already. “Relax, Master. I want them to know,” she said without taking her eyes off the ghoul. She held the gun to its head. “It’s time to go to sleep now, little one. I am so sorry. I should have been able to save you,” she choked out and pulled the trigger.  The click of the hammer was followed by an immediate, echoing bang that was partially muffled by the child's skull. The ghoul’s body hit the floor with a light thud. Blood and brains leaked out of the large hole that had just been put in its head. It twitched once or twice before becoming motionless. Miss Love rose to her feet and holstered her gun, standing silently with shaking fists. Above us, I could hear the sound of footsteps hurrying across the floor. The gun had certainly been loud enough to alert our enemies.  I looked again to Miss Love, who was no longer shaking. She stood perfectly still. At the sound of the two individuals racing down the stairs, she turned and silently walked past me. I followed her, but kept my distance. There was something unsettling about how emotional she was one second, and then cold and dead the next. The two vampires stepped into the doorway. They were both male, dressed in black shirts and trousers and were armed with submachine guns.

                “Wot the fock? Where the fock did you come from, bitch?!” the first one demanded, aiming his gun at her. They had yet to notice me. I was going to try to keep it that way.

                “So, you’re the two that have been going on this little murder spree are you? A couple of fourth-rate bloodsuckers who probably can’t even defend themselves without a weapon,” she hissed as she stepped forward.

                “Oi, Freddie, look a' 'er eyes!” the second one pointed out. The first vampire lowered his gun.

                “Yer' one of us…” he observed.

                “Hardly!” she growled at them, “I wouldn’t even consider us the same _species_!” She took another step forward. They both raised their weapons. “Only worthless, piles of filth such as yourselves would murder women and children when you don’t even need to drink. You’re disgusting!” I saw her swish her hand and pull it backwards. The guns that the vampires were carrying clattered to the floor in pieces. They stared in shock at their destroyed weapons. The one in front took a step back.

                “Wh-Wot kinda bloody bitch are you?!”

                “Let’s get outta here, mate!” The second one started to run. They didn’t even reach a meter before Miss Love had tangled and strung them up in her wires, forcing their arms aside as if they were nailed to an invisible crucifix. I had a bad feeling about this.

                “What spineless cowards,” she sighed, “Only big and scary when you’ve got your guns, eh?”

                “Wot the fock is this, you whore?!” The men struggled against their bindings. 

                I needed to step in now. If we didn’t have cops waiting outside, I would have gladly let her do as she pleased, but we didn’t have time for her to torture these poor fools.

                “Miss, you’ve wasted enough time on these scum. Dispose of them,” I ordered, hoping I could snap her out of it. She looked back at me with a soulless gaze that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up straight. I wasn’t sure I was even looking at the same person from a few moments ago.

                “Master?” she called to me. Her tone of voice was chillingly innocent, “Could I borrow your knife, please?” She held out her hand.

                “Miss, I explained to you earlier that you need to be practicing with the wires,” I reminded her. She continued to stare at me blankly, as if she hadn’t understood a word I had just said. I took a closer look at the two vampires. I had a feeling that even if I didn’t hand her my knife she would find a way to torture these bastards. They deserved it, and I wasn’t a stranger to using it myself, but did we really need to get into that? I could take their heads off in one, clean blow, but a nagging part of me wanted to see what she would do to them. It might also get her to loosen up a little. “Don’t drag this out too long,” I warned, ‘ _Or I’ll finish it for you’._ I reluctantly reached for my knife and handed it to her.

“Thank you, Sir,” she said and turned back to her victims. With incredible strength and speed, Miss Love tied them to chairs in the kitchen and began to walk around them as if she was investigating a known terrorist, twirling the knife through her fingers. I stood off to the side, leaned up against the wall.

                “You focking cunt! I’ll bloody kill you!” the first one spat at her.

                “Oh, I highly doubt that,” she chuckled darkly and, without warning, plunged the knife into the first one’s left eye. She dug it out with the blade, surprisingly careful enough not to strike his brain with the blade tip. The vampire howled in pain as blood gushed from the empty socket. “Now then, boys, we’re going to play a little game. I’m going to ask you a question and you’re going to answer me truthfully. Lying, begging, and calling me things like a _fucking cunt_ are going to result in you losing points, and trust me…” She held the blade under the second vampire’s right eye threateningly. “You do _not_ want to lose points. On the flip-side, if you give me a correct answer, I will end your miserable existence one cut faster! Sound fair?” She dragged the tip of the silver blade down his cheek, gently, the precious metal probably searing his skin.

                “Oi, mate, you can’t let this psycho bitch do this to us! C’mon, let us go!” The vampire who had lost his eye had now turned his head to me, pleading with his life. He would regret that. I reached into my back pocket for my cigarettes and lighter.

                _‘Huh, only two left. Maybe I need to cut down a little…’_ I sighed internally, placing one of the two remaining fags in my mouth and lighting it. Miss Love grabbed the more rebellious of the two by his hair and, without a word, severed his left ear from his head. His bloodcurdling scream hurt my ears. She slid to the second vampire, who had yet to speak a word.

                “Now, shall we get started?” She grabbed this one also by his hair and held the knife to his eye. “What did you do to that little girl I found in the back of the house?!” she snarled. The vampire she held on to stayed quiet, but the one that was now covered in his own blood began to laugh.

                “Wot, was she a friend of yours, sweet'eart?” he cackled.

                “What did you do to her?!” she screamed as she made her way back to the first one.  All he did was keep laughing as he tried to speak.

                “Wot do you think?! We focked the bitch, good and 'ard! She was even be'er than 'er Mum, squealing loike a little pig the 'ole time!” I dug my nails into the sides of my arms as he spoke. It was taking every ounce of self-control not to tear him apart myself. Miss Love took a step closer to him and wordlessly slashed open his throat with the knife. Blood came spurting out of his neck, covering her and his partner’s faces. The vampire's face twisted in horror as he began to choke on his own blood, coughing and sputtering violently as she shook and struggled in his chair, his baser instincts telling him to grab and clutch the open wound on his throat, despite the fact that his wrists were tied to the back of the chair.  The slashed veins and arteries were spilling a torrent of blood down his trachea and into his lungs and preventing him from breathing properly. Not even ten seconds had passed before he let out his last gurgle and stopped moving. I knew better than to say he was really dead, but he was close. Thankfully, Miss Love knew that as well and finished the job by removing his head completely.

* * *

 

 

                The second vampire was not dispatched so quickly. It was a long, agonizing process of interrogation and torture before Miss Love finally decapitated him. She stood in the center of the room, drenched in the blood of her now headless victims. She turned back to me, her eyes glowing a solid red. I had hoped that she would be in a better mood, having finally taken out her rage on these fools, but that wasn’t the case. I was certainly in a better mood. I had enjoyed watching her. How right Alucard had been. She was ruthless, and it brought back memories of my own assignments many years ago.  She walked to the sink and rinsed my knife under the stream of water before handing it to me.

                “Thank you for allowing me to use this, Master. I know it has some value to you. I can polish and sharpen it for you when we return to the estate, if you'd like?” she offered.

                “That won’t be necessary, Miss. I’ll do it myself,” I responded as accepted the blade by the hilt. She nodded.

                “Did I take too long, Sir?” she asked.

                “No, not at all. In fact, I was rather surprised you killed the first one so quickly.”

                “I see. In retrospect, I should have cut out his tongue instead.” She gave a quick shrug. “Not that it mattered. I got plenty of information on the locations of every vampire in the city to make up for it.”

                _“_ Ah, yes!” I grinned. We now knew of numerous possible threats within the city. “That was quite impressive, Miss. Sir Integra will be very pleased with you,” I praised her.

                “Thank you, Master,” she said quietly, her eyes now locked on the floorboards at her feet, “Shall we be on our way then, Sir?” I nodded. As much as I had enjoyed seeing her waste those two monsters, I wanted her to return to her normal self. Seeing her so unhappy was concerning.  We walked out of the house to be rushed by police and paramedics.

                “What is the situation, sir?” the police chief demanded, clearly frustrated with how much time we took to take care of the threat. I could see members of the Wild Geese assembled at the side, waiting for orders. I was about to begin when Miss Love stepped ahead of me.

                “All targets have been neutralized. No survivors,” she said in a low growl, “You there, Geese, torch this fucking place!” she barked to the right.  They hesitated, unsure of what to do. One of them looked to me. They had never taken orders from her. She had no authority to give that order, but pointing that out in front of them would do more bad than good.

                “Have you gone daft, men? You heard her, burn the whole thing to the ground!” I shouted. After that they carried out the order without word. We walked away from the scene as the house went up in flames.

 

                Three and a half hours later, we arrived back at the estate. The ride back had been completely silent. Neither of us made any attempts at conversation. I wouldn’t have minded it, but Miss Love stared down at the floor with her arms crossed. She was still coated in drying blood.

                “We will need to give a report to Sir Integra before we can call it a night,” I informed her as I parked the car.

                “Yes, Master.”  She appeared to be only half-listening. It wasn’t any of my business to know what was going on in her head, but I was certainly curious. I had never seen a vampire react to violence like this. She seemed almost traumatized by what she had seen. I truthfully didn’t understand.

                “I was enjoying it, Master,” she argued with my thoughts.

                “I’d have to disagree, Miss.”

                “I’ll try harder next time,” she promised halfheartedly.  She opened the door on her side and stepped out of the car.

                _‘Just keep yourself together 'till after the report,’_ I thought to her.

                “Yes, Sir,” she responded, flashing one her fake smiles. Even Sir Integra would be able to see right through it. I could only hope that the ordeal would go by quickly and then we could both get some rest.  We walked into her office that was brightly lit by the large chandelier that hung overhead.  Our footsteps echoed across the floor as we walked. We stood in front of her and bowed our heads.

                “We have returned, my lady,” Miss Love announced.

                “So you have,” she acknowledged us without looking up, “It took you some time to eliminate the targets. Were they too challenging after all, Melody?” She was taunting her. It broke Miss Love’s concentration.  She began to stammer as she scrambled to regain her composure.

                “Well you see, Sir, um, that was- um, the thing is-“ Sir Integra cut off Melody's stuttering, holding up her hand to silence her.

                “Don’t make excuses, girl. It annoys me.” She finally looked up at the both of us, making direct eye contact. “Walter, I thought you said you were going to control her.” She raised an eyebrow. I bowed my head once again.

                “My deepest apologies, my lady. I take full responsibility.”

                “No, Master.” Miss Love held her hand out to the side. “I will take responsibility for my own actions, Sir. My Master is at fault for none of it!” Her eyes flashed angrily at Sir Integra.

                “Then do explain, girl. Why did you take so long to carry out my orders?” She glared at Miss Love.

                _‘Stay calm, Miss. You must stay calm,’_ I thought to her. She gritted her teeth and swallowed hard.

                “I took my time killing the enemy, Sir.”

“I let Alucard get away with torture from time to time, but I see no reason for you to be granted such liberties,” Sir Integra pointed out.

                “They deserved it,” Miss Love insisted.

                “I don’t think it really matters if they deserved it or not. You-“

                “NO, IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH IT!” Miss Love erupted, hollering at the top of her lungs. “WE WERE SUPPOSED TO PROTECT THAT FAMILY, AND INSTEAD WE GET THERE TO FIND THEM ALL DEAD! A YOUNG GIRL, NO OLDER THAN EIGHT, WAS RAPED AND TORTURED BY THOSE _MONSTERS_! NOW YOU TELL ME THAT THEY DIDN’T DESERVE EVERY SINGLE BIT OF WHAT I GAVE THEM!” I stared at Miss Love and her outburst.  My eyes were as wide and I was left absolutely speechless. Sir Integra, on the other hand, calmly pulled out her cigar case, removing one and lighting it. After taking a long drag and puff, she started to speak again.

                “Your job-“

                “My job, Sir Integra,” Miss Love brazenly cut her off once again, “Is to save humans like you! Ever since you took me in, I have sworn up and down to protect you ungrateful, mortal sacks of flesh, and if I fail at that, what good am I here?!” she snarled. My hand snapped forward, grasping the back of Miss Love's skull and forcing her head down before she could continue on her tirade.

                “My Lady, I am terribly sorry. I-“

                “Stay out of this, Walter,” Sir Integra ordered. She inhaled again on her cigar. I raised my own head and reluctantly let go of Miss Love, stepping back quietly. The damage was already done. This was what I had been afraid of all along. “The fact that Walter has left you so misinformed is rather insulting, Melody.” Sir Integra smirked. “But by all means, continue with your philosophy. You’re fascinating me.” Miss Love appeared to be taken aback by her response, but pressed onward anyways.

                “We should not be waiting so long to intervene in these incidents, Sir! We have the manpower and the authorization to step in far sooner! We should be on the scene of every gruesome crime there is! Alucard, Seras and myself can identify one of our own, long before you and your human men even _suspect_ the work of vampires! We could have saved that family!” She was talking more calmly now. These were all good points. We were more than capable of accomplishing such a task, but I knew Sir Integra wouldn’t listen to a word of it. She was toying with my apprentice.

                “That’s all well and good, Melody, but I’m afraid you’re missing the point. In fact, you’ve got it all wrong. Your job is _not_ to save humans.”

                “Excuse me?” Miss Love seemed genuinely confused. I knew where this was going. There was nothing I could do. She had done this to herself.

                “You see, Melody, your job is to keep the public in a state of blissful ignorance. Your job is to stop vampirism from spreading. Because of this, do you really believe survivors are in our best interest? A survivor is someone who can talk about their experience. Yes, one or two will just sound crazy, but what if there were survivors from every vampire attack? We’d have a country-wide, perhaps even worldwide conspiracy on our hands. We have enough problems to see to and the last thing we need is ordinary people snooping around where they don’t belong,” she explained, “Take yourself for example, Melody. You are a _very_ special case.  You are the only person, aside from Walter, of course, to ever survive a direct confrontation with a vampire all by yourself in all of the United Kingdom!” she exclaimed in a voice that conveyed both praise and venomous contempt. Miss Love looked back at me, a growing look of concern and confusion on her face.

                “M-Master...?” she called to me nervously. I didn’t want to look at her.

                “Ah, yes, Walter, your Master. He really is the only reason why you’re here.” Sir Integra pointed to me. “Let's be perfectly honest, Melody.  If you had showed any signs of recovering the night you were attacked, Walter was under strict orders to kill you without a second thought. You only survived because Walter made his own judgments and decided to let you die on your own.”  She cackled darkly for a moment.

                “But, my family-“ Miss Love started, red tears slowly rolling down her cheeks as she was interrupted.

                “...Were all as good as dead the moment those two vampires broke into your house,” Sir Integra confirmed, “Whether they killed them or not.” Miss Love looked as though she might be sick. She was shaking and covering her mouth her hands.

                “Then why?” she whimpered, “Why didn’t you just kill me the moment I got here?!” she demanded.

                “Believe me, I had planned on it.  Then you turned out to be a vampire and I was fascinated that you had made it so far.  When Walter asked what we were going to do with you, is it really any surprise that I decided to let you live?”

                This was what I was dreading for the longest time.  I thought I finally had Miss Love under control, I thought she was finally clear from Sir Integra's iron fist.  Now it was almost a guarantee that I would lose her to Alucard, or worse.  Much, much worse.

                _‘You stupid girl… What have you done?’_ Looking at Miss Love, I wasn’t sure if she was going to pass out or attack. If she made even the slightest movement towards Sir Integra, I would have no choice. It didn’t matter how important she was to me, Sir Integra's safety would always be my top priority. I would kill Miss Love if I had to. Then, Sir Integra addressed me, glaring daggers at me while maintaining a scarily calm demeanor about her voice.

                “I’m getting tired of this, Walter. I’ll give you one more chance. If this happens again, I don’t care what I said before. I _will_ chain her up in the basement. Do you understand me, butler?”

                “Yes, Ma’am,” I answered, stepping forward as I was addressed and bowing, deeply grateful for this final offer.  Simultaneously, my hand clasped the back of Miss Love's head again, forcing her down in the same manner so that she was bowing as well. There was a brief moment of silence.

                “Get out of my sight,” she hissed out. We stood up straight, turned and left the room.

 

We walked back down to the second floor. Miss Love kept ahead of me. All the while, the rage inside me was building. I could have lost her. I could have _lost_ her to more than just Alucard. I clenched my jaw tightly. I would not allow it. I would never allow my apprentice to be shamed in such a way. I would much rather kill her first to spare her the suffering.

“Master, I-“ She began to turn towards me. I snapped. Cutting off her statement, I raised my right hand and slapped her across the face.

“What the _fuck_ is wrong with you, you damned, brainless girl?!”

“I-I just...” she started again, but I didn’t want to hear a single word it. I grabbed her by her shirt collar and slammed her into the wall, pinning her there by the throat with my forearm.

“Do you have _any_ idea what you’ve done?” I fumed. She didn’t respond this time. “Not only are you one smart word from _wishing_ you were dead, but you continue to make a fool out of _me_! Does everything that’s happened thus far mean nothing to you?! Everything you and I have worked for, are you really so hell-bent on throwing it all away?!” I demanded. I was letting how hurt I was come out more than I should have. Miss Love looked me in the eyes. 

“I won’t apologize for what I said, Master,” she finally spoke up. That took me by surprise. In the past, whenever she did anything to upset me, her first reaction was to beg for my forgiveness, even if it wasn’t necessary. I let go of her shirt and took a step back. “However, I never intended to make a fool of you, Sir. I am sincerely sorry for that.” She lowered her head. “I’m begging you, Sir, please don’t hand me over to Alucard. I would rather die than belong to someone else.”

“As if I would allow such a thing. Now, get to bed,” I ordered, scowling at her, “I don’t want to see your face again until tomorrow morning.”

“Goodnight, Master.” She bowed her head deeply before twisting the doorknob and disappearing inside her room, shutting the door behind her. I walked to my own door and stepped in. I wasn’t sure of what to do with myself now. It was late. I needed to get some rest, but anger was still coursing through my veins at full speed. I paced back and forth for a while before the rage spilled out of me momentarily. Grabbing a book that was resting on my nightstand, I whirled around and whipped it at the wall by my door.

“GOD DAMN IT!” I yelled, but I regretted my outburst almost instantly. The dull headache I was trying to hold back almost all day returned with a sharp pulse and a burning feeling in my forehead. I put my hand to my right temple, wishing it would fade, but it only got worse. ‘ _What the hell...?’_ I wondered as I sat down on the edge of my bed. Who knew vampires could get headaches?  When the horrible throbbing finally turned back into the dull ache I had felt for most of the day, I began to undress, pulling off my tie and unbuttoning my vest. I just needed some sleep. Tomorrow would be a new day and Miss Love and I could work on getting things back to normal, or whatever normal was at this point. I pulled on shorts and a T-shirt and lied down on my bed, slipping into a state of sleep in a matter of minutes.

* * *

 

 

**Tuesday, August 29 th, 2006**

The next few weeks were a cacophony of good events and bad events. Things between Miss Love and I took a day or two to patch, but now it almost seemed normal in some ways. I was, however, spending less time with her. She now trained on her own for the most part, or with assistance from the Captain or Alucard. When we were together, it was no longer uncomfortable or painfully formal. That was what I had been hoping for. Sir Integra was still watching her closely. That couldn’t be helped and I knew it. Miss Love kept her distance and stayed out of trouble. It was still a load off of my shoulders. On the other hand, the headaches I had started getting were becoming more frequent and increasingly painful. In the last few days, I had begun suffering from random bouts of nausea. I didn’t know why. Miss Love seemed worried occasionally, but I never brought it up with her or any other members of Hellsing. I was sure it would go away eventually.

 I had just finished some paperwork in my office. It felt good to have everything up to date and completed. I noticed the clock at the edge of my desk. It was nearly 7:00PM.

_‘Perhaps I should go visit Miss Love down in the sub-basement,’_ I decided, putting my pen down and standing up, which incited yet another wave of vertigo to make the room spin for a moment. I groaned, but shook it off and began my walk down to the underground floors. I found her down there, alone, cutting apart dummies with the silver wires.

“Good evening, Miss,” I greeted her. She turned to me with a big smile on her face.

“Good evening, Master!” she beamed, “How have you been today, sir?”

“Very well, thank you,” I lied. I had felt like shit all day, which I’m sure she knew all too well. But she never brought it up. “Don’t mind me for now, just continue,” I encouraged. She nodded and turned back to her stuffed opponent. As I watched her movements, I was getting a bit irritated. “Lower your shoulders,” I instructed. She did so immediately, but as she kept going began to raise them again, causing her strikes to come across very rigid and inaccurate. “Lower your shoulders!” I ordered her again, raising my voice this time. It was only minutes later that they were raised back into the same position. “Ugh!” I groaned and swiftly strode over to her. “God damn it, girl, I said _lower your shoulders_!” I placed my hands on her shoulders and forced them down. She flinched at my touch. “Why are you tense?” I demanded.

“S-Sorry, Sir,” she apologized.

“Don’t apologize,” I said, keeping my hands in place, “But this bad habit of yours is going to take some time to beat.”

“I’m...” She stopped herself. “Yes, Sir.”

“Now, try the move sequence again,” I instructed once more. With my right hand, I could feel the muscles on her right shoulder were in a large knot. _‘Damn, you got a second head growing out of here?’_ I teased her through my thoughts, trying to lighten the mood a little.

“I hope not!” she giggled, chopping the dummy's left arm off. I pressed my thumb into the knot as she lowered her arm. She stiffened.

“You need to _relax_.” She let out a deep breath as I spoke, as if she had been holding it in this whole time.

“I know.”

“If you don’t relax, your movements get too stiff and the wires won’t move like you want them to. Remember, it doesn’t matter how tight your muscles are. This technique is all about movement. The whole thing relies on the fluidity of your movements. Not just your arms, but your whole body must be flexible and smooth,” I lectured her, but I was starting to feel another wave of nausea coming on. She nodded again and I let go of her. She performed the next set of movements perfectly, but I was having a hard time seeing her as my vision started to blur. This was a bad one. She looked back at me with a smile.

“How was that?”

“M-Much better, Miss...” I praised her, not realizing how weak my voice sounded. My vision was going in and out of focus. I stumbled backwards, putting my hand to my pounding forehead.

“Master? Master, what is it? What’s wrong?” Miss Love came running up to me as she pulled the wires back into her sleeves. I couldn’t see her clearly, but I could hear the concern in her voice.

“I’m fine... I think I just need to si-“ I stumbled backwards again, struggling to force the words past my lips. “I j-just need to…” My vision started to go black.

“Master? MASTER!” Miss Love cried out. Everything went black and I felt my body thud against the floor. “WALTER!!”


	8. Offers Made in Her Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter has found himself immobilized by his decision to not drink blood. Melody helps the only way she knows how.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trying to upload everything I have in one night.

**August 29 th, 2006**

**Hellsing Estate**

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V.**

I felt like I was underwater. People around me were talking, but all I could hear were muffled voices that echoed in my ears. I was getting hit by wave after wave that made my head spin. I didn’t know where I was. I couldn’t see anything, but I felt the strange sensation of being carried.

                _‘Where am I?’_ I wondered. The voices were slowly becoming clearer, like I was reaching the surface.

                “Walter?! Walter can you hear me?!” the voice was calling for me. They sounded far off, but I could tell they were worried by the sound of their voice. I tried to talk, but when I tried to move my lips, nothing came out. Another wave hit me. I felt sick. I wanted to hold on to something, anything to stop the constant tumbling for even a moment, but I couldn’t lift my arms.

                “Walter?!” the voice called again. And I felt myself flop down onto a solid surface. “Walter, I need you open your eyes for me, okay?” they instructed.

                _‘I can’t,’_ I wanted to tell them. _‘I can’t stop spinning.’_

                “I know, but you need to open your eyes for just a minute. Can you do that for me?”

                I recognized their voice, but I couldn’t seem to place it. _‘Okay…’_ Slowly, I started to open my eyes, but even that tiny action took every ounce of strength and focus I had. I couldn’t see anything clearly, but I could make out the hazy silhouette of someone standing over me.

                “That’s it. Good. Can you talk to me? Do you know where you are?”  they asked me.

                _‘No,’_ I thought, still unable to speak. I blinked and my eyes began to hone in on the person standing there, the blur starting to sharpen. It was Miss Love.  I tried to move, just to sit up. Her hand pressed into my shoulder, keeping me still.

                “It’s alright. You’re safe,” she assured me as if I was a child. “You’re in your room.”

                _‘My room?’_ I repeated and turned my head to the left to see my desk and bookshelf. It was my room. “How…?” I somehow managed to get a single word out as my mind tried to speak again.

                She smiled sweetly. “I carried you.”

                I let my head rest on the pillow. Nausea swept over me again. I groaned. I would have given anything to make it stop.

                “Master, I need to ask you a very important question.”  Her smile was suddenly replaced with a stern expression. I nodded. “When was the last time you drank blood?”

                I turned my head to the side. “Saturday,” I lied. I hadn’t had a single drop of blood since my transformation, and I certainly had no idea what day it was. It probably _was_ Saturday today for all I knew.

                She turned my face by the chin, forcing me to look at her. “Don’t lie to me. It has never worked before and it won’t work now. Tell me honestly, when was the last time you drank blood?” she repeated.

                “...Never…” I admitted, quietly. I was unsure of why I had bothered lying in the first place.

                “Why?”

                ‘ _I didn’t think I had to._ ’ I thought to her.

                “ _Really_? You’re a vampire, Walter! I don’t care how you got to be that way. A vampire is a vampire. You need to drink blood. After always harping on Seras and I to keep up our strength, you just decided to skip out on it?” she scolded me. “You haven’t been sleeping in a coffin either. You _know_ you have to do one or the other unless you want to start resembling a dried up corpse. What the hell were you thinking?! Do you want to die?!”

                ‘ _I just need to get down to the kitchen_ ,’ I tried to sit up, but fell down again as soon as the spinning resumed, ‘a _nd get a packet.’_

                She shook her head, and continued to look down at me with a cold stare. “I’m afraid not.”

                “What?”

                “We’re out,” she said plainly. “Tomorrow’s our delivery day, remember?”

                “Fuck…” I mumbled. ‘ _I can wait.’_

                Miss Love shook her head again. “I don’t think you have that luxury.” She sat down beside me. “You need to get something in your system and you need it now.”

                ‘ _So what are you going to do? Do you expect me to let you hunt a human?’_ I glared at her.

                “You honestly think I would ever hunt humans?” She sounded almost insulted by my suggestion. “I don’t know exactly what Alucard told you, but you should try talking to me next time you want to know something about my life instead of making assumptions. Can you sit up?” She reached under me and started to lift me upright. I groaned.

                “What are you going to do?” I asked, out of breath.

                “The only thing we can do.” She reached down to her belt and pulled out a throwing knife. I had cut her off from the armory after the incident with Sir Integra, but my head was spinning too much to start asking questions or thinking of punishment. She pulled back her left sleeve, and lowered the knife to her skin. With delicate precision, she slit open her forearm.

                “Miss, what are you doing?” I demanded. I watched as blood spilled out of the cut she had just made.

                “You need to eat something and this is all we have time for! If you weren’t so far gone, I’d go out and hunt a wild animal, but I’m not comfortable leaving you for that long. It won’t give you the same energy as human or even animal blood, but it will be enough to hold you over.” She held her wounded arm in front of my face.

                “No, I can’t do that,” I refused, trying to back away. There was something about the idea of drinking her blood that felt very wrong.

                “What part of ‘ _you don’t have choice in the matter_ ’ are you not understanding?” The firm grip she had on my shoulder held me in place, and I was too weak to resist. “You don’t need that much. Just a few drops will hold you over ‘till morning, okay?” She looked into my eyes, pleading with me, but I didn’t fully understand why.

                ‘ _What harm could a few more hours do?’_

                “You’d be surprised,” she responded to my thoughts.

                “I don’t understand.”

                “You might not be able to walk when you wake up tomorrow. Once you’ve hit that point, your body will start to rapidly decompose.  If we want to get you back to full strength, it could take weeks, or maybe even a few months. My blood won’t stop this, but it will slow it down. You wanted to know how I survived for two years, Master? Well this is it,” she explained. “Now please, do this, sir,”

When I looked at her, I could see how frightened she was. That was what made me understand. I didn’t want to accept her offer, but I had to. I didn’t want to become the rotting corpse she had just described. I nodded. She raised the knife back to her forearm and made a new cut. Miss Love moved her arm closer to my face and I leaned in. I could smell her blood, metallic, but also strangely sweet. I licked a few drops off her arm. It was bitter, but the sweetness I had smelled hung on my tongue after the taste of metal had faded. The second it dribbled down my throat, I realized just how hungry I was. I felt a small surge of energy course through me and a flood of flickering images flashed in my head, too fast for me to make any sense of what they were. It was alarming. ‘ _What was that?!’_ I tried to back away again, moving against her arm that held me.

                “I know it’s strange the first time you drink, but you need a little bit more,” she encouraged me.

                I knew she was right. I was hungry.  Starving, actually.  There was a gnawing hole in my abdomen that was demanding more of her blood. _‘_ But _what were those images?’_

 “We can talk about that later,” she said, arm still extended towards me. As I stared at the blood dripping down her arm I had the sudden and almost uncontrollable urge to bite her. The smell of her blood was becoming intoxicating. I couldn’t stand it. How could just one drop do this to me?

                “Easy there,” she whispered, her voice disrupting my sudden trance. “It’s alright. You can bite me if you need to. Just don’t take my arm off.”

                I scowled at myself, disgusted that the thought had even crossed my mind. I leaned back in and put my mouth to her open wound and let a few more drops of her blood slide down my throat before pulling back for good.  I blinked as the images began to flicker and flash past my mind’s eye again, becoming slightly clearer with every little drop that touched my tongue.  But just as quickly as they came, they vanished again when she pulled her arm back, deeming that I’d had enough.

                “Do you feel better?” Miss Love asked, but her voice echoed strangely in my ears.

                “Yes.” I nodded. I felt significantly better. I didn’t feel normal, per se, but good enough so that I might be able to go back to work.

                “Oh no, I don’t think so. You’re staying right here until morning. I’ll bring you down to the kitchen the moment we get the delivery.” Again I felt the grip of her hand on my shoulder, forcing me to my back again.

                “I feel fine,” I assured her.

                “It’s just a short burst of energy. You’re going to crash again in a few minutes. It’s only meant to delay the decomposition. You’ve ingested nowhere near enough to-”

                “God damn it, Melody, I feel fine!” I shouted, knocking her hand away, but then covered my mouth the moment I realized what I had just said. She took a step back.

                “Did you just…” Miss Love stared at me in shock.

In the almost eight months that I had known her, I had never addressed her by her first name, not even in my thoughts. The fact that it had slipped out was the biggest mistake I could have made in this moment.

                “...Did you just call me by my first name?”

                My thoughts scrambled to try to come up with something that would keep her from jumping to the right conclusion, but I was too slow.

                “Oh no, you’re staying right here!” She pushed me firmly to the mattress.

                “Miss, I-“

                “Shhhhh…” she hushed me with a single finger pressed softly to my lips. I looked up at her. Her red eyes seemed to shimmer and glow in the dark room. “You’re staying right here, aren’t you, Walter?” Her voice was gentle and comforting. My head suddenly felt light and airy.

                “Yes…” I spoke without feeling my lips move.

                “Good. Now get under the covers,” she ordered. I did as I was told, but with no control over my body.

                ‘ _Damn it, girl!_ ’ I cursed in my thoughts, but it was getting harder to stay aware.  Fighting her persuasion was impossible, it was as though her haunting gaze had caused my worries to melt away and all of my senses became incredibly dull, bordering on unresponsive. The very words sounded foreign to me now.  I vaguely felt Miss Love pull the blanket over my body, just below my chin.

                “Walter?” she called. I looked back into her hypnotizing gaze. “Everything is fine. Go to sleep.”

                I found myself nodding and repeated her words in what probably sounded like unintelligible muttering. My eyes rolled to the back of my head and everything went black.

* * *

 

               

**15 minutes later**

**Seras Victoria’s P.O.V.**

**Hellsing Outdoor Training Grounds**

                “Take a break, Police Girl,” Master ordered as I emptied another clip into the wooden cutouts in the distance.

                “Yes, sir!” I exclaimed. He nodded and faded into a black mist that blew away with a light breeze. I holstered my pistol and strolled back towards the estate. I wasn’t in the mood for flying. Master had most likely been called by Sir Integra. If that was the case, it could be a while before his return.

                I found myself walking around the courtyard. I noticed someone standing out by one of the back doors, leaning against the railing and gazing up at the stars. I could tell from the purple vest and long ponytail that it was Melody. I began to walk towards her.

                “Evening, Seras,” she greeted halfheartedly. She looked visibly upset.

                “Evening, Mel.” I leaned against the railing beside her. “I heard that something happened to Walter. How’s he doing?”

                She sighed and shook her head. “He’ll be alright, but the stupid man shouldn’t have allowed himself to become so ill and never speak to anyone about it. I knew he wasn’t doing well, but I had no idea just how bad it was.”

                “But how did he get in such poor shape in the first place?” I demanded, genuinely confused. Walter was always perfectly fit and healthy. In all the years I’d known him, not once had he caught a nasty cold or sustained any serious injuries. Not to mention that he was a vampire now. I wasn’t even sure how one of us could get sick!

                “The bloody fool hasn’t been drinking blood.” Her tone sounded exasperated, but I could see a faint smirk spread across her lips.

                “Has he gone daft?” I asked plainly.

Melody simply shrugged. “I think the whole thing still upsets him.”

“Ugh…” I rolled my eyes, slumping over the railing. “So, just how bad is he?”

“He called me Melody.”

My mouth hung open as I stared at her. It took me a few moments before I could force the words out. “My God, he’s dying!” I cried. Melody erupted into uncontrollable laughter. She leaned further forward on the railing, gripping her sides as a red tear escaped from her left eye. I couldn’t help but laugh too. Her laughter had an infectious quality to it.

She let out a happy sigh when the laughter died down and looked off into the distance with a look of longing in her eyes. “He called me Melody,” she repeated.

“Dreams really do come true,” I teased her.

“Piss off!” she retorted, giving me a shove. I snickered and placed my hands back on the railing.

“Jokes aside, Melody, is he going to be okay? If he passed out on you, he must be in some real danger.” I frowned.

The sides of her mouth drooped as the seriousness of the situation took hold once again. She shook her head. “I don’t know,” she admitted in low whisper. “I’m so worried about him, Seras.”

I patted her on the back. “Well, you got something in his system, right? He’ll be fine tomorrow when the delivery comes in,” I reassured her, but truthfully I was worried too. We weren’t like Master. If we started to revert to a corpse, recovery was a long and painful process.

“I know.” Her response was unconvincing, but I knew it was the best she could do.

Moments later, Master appeared beside me in a wisp of black smoke. “Time’s up, Police Girl. There is work to be done,” he commanded. I nodded silently.

“Got to go. Get some rest, Mel,” I encouraged her. She nodded silently and I jumped over the railing, sprinting back into the training grounds.

* * *

 

 

**The next morning**

**5:20 AM**

**Hellsing Estate**

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V.**

Waking up after being brainwashed is like waking up from the worst nightmare you can’t even imagine. I threw myself out of bed, feeling my stomach start to give out. I ran into my wash closet and fell over the toilet bowl, heaving, but there was nothing in my stomach that I could expel. I leaned against the wall, attempting to catch my breath. ‘ _So that’s what it means to be under that girl’s control…’_ I had never felt anything like it. Alucard was good at brainwashing. It took a very special kind of person to resist him. Over the years I had finally become immune to his abilities, but Miss Love, on the other hand, was in a class of her own. I doubted if there was anyone who could look into her eyes and not fall prey to her charms.

“Fuck!” I cursed as I grabbed the sink and forced myself to my feet, still out of breath. I stumbled back into my room and over to the mirror. I looked worse than death. I groaned and tried to adjust my tie and fix my hair, but in all honesty, I didn’t exactly care. No one aside from myself (and most likely Miss Love) would be awake right now. I staggered out of my room and down to the first floor. By the time I had reached the last step of the staircase, the spinning had started again and my head felt as though it was about to split in two. I dragged my hand against the wall, trying to stay on my feet as I made my way to the kitchen.

Since becoming my apprentice, Miss Love had taken over the duty of taking care of our blood deliveries. I didn’t know what time it was, but with any luck there would be blood in the kitchen that I could get my hands on.

When I finally managed to drag myself into the room, Miss Love was loading the blood packets into the special refrigerator.

                She looked up when she heard me enter and ran over to me. “Master, what are you doing up? I told you I would bring one to you. You shouldn’t be walking around!”

                “I’m fine,” I insisted, although my inability to walk straight probably suggested otherwise.

                “Hold on, I’ll pour a blood packet in a glass for you.” She went for the first blood packet in front of her.

                “That’s not necessary.” I waved it away with my right hand. “Just hand it to me if you would be so kind.”  I held my hand out. Miss Love placed the packet in my hand and I walked into the next room which was the dining area for her and myself. I sat down and stared at the packet of A+ blood. I could smell it through the plastic. I was starving. I lifted the packet towards my mouth and bit through the plastic, not even bothering to tear it open. The blood flooded into my mouth. This time it tasted different. It was far more sour than Miss Love’s, but the rush of energy was almost immediate. I could feel my body regenerating. My headache stopped and my vision cleared. It was amazing how much better I felt once I had finished it off. In fact I, had never felt stronger. But one thing confused me. There had been no flash of images in my head. Maybe a miniscule flicker here and there, but it wasn’t like the vivid experience that I had had with Miss Love last night. ‘ _What were those?’_ I wondered again, placing the now empty packet down. The healing abilities aside, I didn’t quite like the taste.  I was supposed to prefer it, though, wasn’t I?

                Miss Love broke me from my thoughts, calling to me. _‘Master, are you feeling any better?’_ Her voice seemed to echo strangely. I turned around, expecting to see her standing in the doorway, but she wasn’t there.

                “Miss?” I rose to my feet.

                ‘ _Yes?_ ’ she answered in the same echo.

                She sounded so close, but I couldn’t see her. I wandered back into the kitchen where she stood at the counter, cutting up fruit. “Miss…?”

                She looked up from the cutting board. “Yes, sir? Are you still hungry?” She tilted her head to the side, with a smile on her face.

                “How did you…”

‘ _Do this?’_ Her lips didn’t move as she spoke. ‘ _You drank my blood, sir. We no longer need to speak to communicate.’_

_‘These are her thoughts?’_ I stared at her. That seemed impossible.

“Well, sort of…” she responded verbally, turning back to the cutting board. “You see, you can hear my thoughts because I am making a conscious effort to communicate with you. You already do this on a lower, more subconscious level. It’s fairly often that you instruct me through your thoughts, but I must vocalize my reply. That is no longer necessary. If you need to talk with me you need only call for me and I will respond immediately,” she explained, looking over her shoulder.

I nodded and turned to leave her to her preparations when I heard the clatter of metal on the floor. The smell of Miss Love’s blood ripped through the air. I whirled around to see the knife on the floor. She was bent over the counter, muttering curse words under her breath.

“You daft girl, what did you do to yourself?” I turned her around and held up her hand. There wasn’t a problem until I saw her wound. Blood gushed out of the deep slice that ran along her left pointer finger. It wasn’t as minor as most of her injuries; I could almost see the bone among the muscle and sinew. My mind felt muddled. I knew that I should be rushing to get the first aid kit. She needed to be stitched up, but I felt drawn in by the sight of it. The desire for her blood was far stronger than last night. I was still hungry, I realized. Somehow I fought it. I turned away from her and walked to the other side of the kitchen, flinging open the cabinet under the sink. I snatched the first aid kit out from behind the various cleaning products, knocking them over carelessly. I raced back to Miss Love, who was clutching her bleeding finger in her right hand. I led her over to the sink and had her wash out the cut. She cringed, but otherwise made no sounds or attempts to pull away. When I took her back over to the counter, I unlatched the box. It was difficult to focus on her injury. Although the blood had been washed away, its sweet, iron scent still hung in the air. “Sit,” I ordered. She pushed herself onto the counter top and I pulled out the needle and thread and started to push it through the gash. Miss Love held a cloth on her cut. She was quiet, looking down at the floor. The expression she held on her face told me she was ashamed of herself, which was all too typical of her.

“Master…” she began to speak after a brief period of silence.

“You could have lost your finger. I don’t understand why you’re constantly injuring yourself, Miss,” I scolded her.

“I’m sorry, sir. My hand slipped,” she said timidly, and then was quiet for a moment. “Master…” she started again as I began to stitch her up.

“Hmm?”

“Do you really prefer me over human blood?”

“Stay out of my thoughts,” I hissed. Anger was flaring up inside me. She nodded and I continued to work on her injury. She was right. I couldn’t lie to myself about that. I did prefer her blood. There was something in hers that the human blood lacked and it wasn’t just the images I saw flashing behind my eyes. As disgusted as I was with myself for having such a thought, I couldn’t deny that I enjoyed the taste far more than human blood.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Master,” she tried to reassure me.

“Please be quiet, Miss,” I requested quietly. It wasn’t her fault for hearing my thoughts, or for my desires, but I did not want to share them with her.

“I’ll make you an offer,” she stated.

 I glanced at her. What game was she playing now? “And what would that be, Miss?”

“I’ll let you drink my blood once a week. Would that satisfy you?” She raised an eyebrow. I had finished stitching her up. This conversation was irritating and highly inappropriate.

“We’re done here,” I said coldly. “See to your duties. We’ll meet this evening for practice. Good day, Miss.”

I left the kitchen in a hurry, before I could hear any response from her. I was angry, but in truth it wasn’t with her. She was merely trying to help me, as was her duty. I was disgusted with myself. For a few moments, I had considered it. I was still considering it. The words sat at the edge of my tongue, threatening to make themselves heard. The whole idea was absurd. What could I possibly gain from taking part in such a thing? Her blood gave me no real energy. My preference should not have even entered into the argument. I prefer to be out in the field hunting ghouls and tearing apart monsters, but I work as a butler because that was what was expected of and assigned to me.

I was practically storming down the halls at this point. I stopped myself, placing my right hand on the railing of the staircase that led upstairs. I caught my reflection in the tile floor. I looked awful. The sun would be rising soon, if it had not already done so. I needed to get myself sorted before the rest of estate woke up. I walked back to my room and started to get ready for the day.


	9. Masking Imperfections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter has a meeting to attend, but Melody seems anxious at the thought of being left alone.

**November 21 nd 2006**

**Hellsing Estate**

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V.**

I gave in before the week was over.  It was shameful, really, how quickly I found myself unable to resist my own thoughts. How long had this _ritual_ of ours been going on now? Nearly three months. There was a part of me that wanted to give up her blood, although it grew smaller with each passing week. I was addicted to every aspect of drinking her blood: the taste, the tiny rush of energy, the flickering images that I had yet to make sense of.  All of it had become a sort of drug that remained ever-present in the back of my mind.

Miss Love sat beside me in my room, wrapping a bandage around her arm.

                “Did you cut too deep this time?” I asked, lighting a cigarette. The taste of her blood was already starting to disappear from my mouth. The momentary satisfaction was over. 

                “No, sir. I just don’t want to stain my shirt.”

                “Thank you, Miss,” I said just above a whisper.

                “Of course. Do you need anything else, sir?” Her head tilted to the side.

                I paused a moment. For some reason I wasn’t quite ready for us to part ways this evening. I rose to my feet and offered her my hand. “Join me for a walk?”

                She seemed surprised by the request. Come to think of it, our nighttime strolls around the estate had become much less frequent.

                “It has been a while.”

                The confusion on her face was quickly replaced with a look of joy as she took my hand.  I pulled her to her feet and then let go. I walked to my door, holding it open.

                “Shall we?”

                She nodded and I followed her out the door and down the hall. “How have you been, Master? Aside from Tuesday nights, Saturday shopping trips, and our evening practice sessions, I feel like I never see you.”

                I exhaled on my cigarette. She was right. Perhaps a passing glance in the hallway from time to time, but not much else as far as interaction. “Forgive me, Miss. I’m sorry.”

                “You don’t need to apologize, sir. I know Sir Integra has you running around like a madman half the day.”

                I tried to stifle a laugh, without much success. “Yes, she does.” We stepped outside through one of the back doors. The air was cool. Winter would be here soon. “Are you cold, Miss?”

                “No, I’m fine.” She took a few steps on to the grass. “This cool air feels so nice!”

                “Yes…”

                We began our walk along the edges of the estate. At first we did not speak to each other. There were things I had wanted to discuss, but now suddenly I could remember none of them. I frowned down at my feet, trying to force something back into my head.

                “I do miss seeing you, Master.” Her comment was quiet, and even shy. I looked to see her tugging at the cross around her neck. It was rather sudden to hear her voice an opinion. It was rare for me to see her express much of anything anymore. Seeing the way she glanced up at me, she was smiling, but her eyes sent a twinge of guilt through me. She was my apprentice. Aside from Sir Integra, she should be my top priority.

                “I know.” My eyes focused in on the burnt out cigarette between my lips. “I’ll try to put the paperwork aside more often.”

                The promise brought a faint smile to her face. “Tomorrow, will you help me with the throwing knives?”

                I was about to say, ‘ _Yes, why not?_ ’ when I remembered. “Oh, well no. I’m afraid I must accompany Sir Integra to a conference tomorrow.”

                “About what?

                I sighed. “It’s about me.”

                “About you?”

                “Unfortunately…” Despite having just finished my cigarette I was already craving another one. “My _current state_ needs to be addressed by the council members.”

                “Current state? Tsk,” she spat. “Bastards were the ones who sent you to your death, and now they want to put you under a microscope too?” The rest of her commentary she kept hushed under her breath.

                “It can’t be helped.”

                “I know, but still…” she trailed off, holding on to her cross tightly. Out of nowhere, her facial expression changed again. The mask that she had momentarily removed was back on. “Oh, but I’m sure you’ll be fine! Two minutes with those old fools and they’ll realize that you’re the same man they’ve always known!” She sounded so confident and cheerful, it was almost convincing.

                Truthfully, I wasn’t worried. I had maintained my duties as the Hellsing family butler; there could be no questioning that.

                “H-how long will you be gone, sir?” It might have been my imagination, but I could have sworn I heard her voice waver for a moment.

                “All day.”

                Her steps that had become synced with mine, suddenly stopped, but barely long enough for me to notice.

                “I see,” she muttered, but again she regained her façade. “Perhaps I could accompany you?”

                At first it seemed like a decent idea. I could sort out this mess with the Round Table, and spend more time with my apprentice, but the more I thought on it the more I realized that her coming would be the worst thing I could possibly do. She had brainwashed members of The Round Table. On top of that there was the fear that she would nearly take someone’s head off if they started to question me.

                “Not this time, Miss. I don’t think it would be in either of our best interests if you were to come along.”

“Oh, that’s alright, I understand.” She was putting on her best fake smile, but I couldn’t understand why. There were plenty of days where I had to leave her behind at the estate. Why was this day significant? There was nothing that I could think of.

“Is something the matter, Miss Love?”

“No, of course not, sir. We can train another day.”

I was still curious, but if she was going to be that persistent in hiding whatever it was, then it was probably best to leave it alone.

We walked for what must have been an hour or two, all serious topics of conversation consciously avoided. Before we knew it we had wandered off the grounds of the estate. By the time we returned it was nearly two in the morning. I had ‘till 10:00 before I would have to be ready to head into the city for the conference. With that in mind, Miss Love and I retired for the night, with the promise that I would see her sometime tomorrow evening.

* * *

 

               

                I pulled up the car in front of the Hellsing estate. The sun had gone down quite a few hours ago. It was getting late. The meeting with the members of The Round Table had gone on all day. It had been painfully tedious and a waste of my time. For some reason the concept that I was now a vampire, nineteen years old, and still a completely competent butler was nearly impossible for them grasp. The only vampire they knew was Alucard, after all, and he’s a bleeding psychopath, so obviously I _must_ be a mere hop, skip, and a jump away from waging a bloody war on London! The fact that the only reason I’d become this monster was because of them in the first place was, as expected, ignored completely. The fact that I had single-handedly killed the Major and all of his men was only used as further evidence as to why I was a danger to my Master and I should be stripped of my position and put under careful observation. When I attempted to remind them that Sir Integra already has three other vampires in her service, my comments were disregarded.

                In the end, it was nothing but an endless circle of debate that resulted in Sir Integra telling them that I would be monitored and there was no cause for concern, which I could not have been more _thrilled_ about. It was in those moments that I had greatly wished that Miss Love _had_ accompanied us and told them all to fuck off.

                I turned the key in the ignition, shutting down the car and opened the door, letting Sir Integra out.

                “Forgive me for all of that back there, Walter,” she said as we entered through the front door.

                “No reason to apologize, Ma’am. It has been sorted out.” I said that, and meant it, but I was still thoroughly insulted by how quickly I went from the loyal butler to a monster. Thankfully, it no longer mattered. Now I could focus on things that actually mattered to me.

                I headed straight for the subbasement where I was sure I would find Miss Love, only to see that it was empty. There was no sign of her having been there at all. I climbed back up the stairs and tried the kitchen next, followed by the deck out back. She was nowhere to be found. “Where are you, daft girl?” I mumbled under my breath as Seras passed me in the corridor.

                “Evening, Walter,” she greeted.

                “Oh, Miss Victora.  Do you happen to know where my apprentice has gone off to?”

                Her posture stiffened. “She hasn’t left her room all day, Walter.” Something in her tone suggested that perhaps I should have known this.

                ‘ _What?’_ My thoughts started racing. What could be wrong? My mind was blank. There could be no reason. “Thank you, Miss Victoria. Excuse me.” I started walking, but almost running down the hall towards her room. The only thought in my head was, ‘ _I shouldn’t have left…’_

                I couldn’t hear her on the other side of her wooden door. I knocked lightly, but got no reply. She was starting to worry me. Without thinking I twisted open the door knob and stepped inside, half expecting to find some gruesome murder scene with her sprawled, lifeless on the floor.

                Miss Love sat on the window sill. Her long, black hair cascaded down her back and was only a few inches off the floor. The night gown she had on looked more fitting for summer than the middle of November. One of the thin straps hung off her shoulder. She looked almost beautiful with how the light from the night sky seemed to make her skin glow, but it also drew attention to the scars that littered her upper arms and legs. She held a glass in her hand that looked to me like blood, but darker.

                I closed the door behind me and took a step further into her room.

                "'Ow much loonger 'till midnoight, Walter?" she spoke up suddenly, without looking in my direction. Her words sounded muddled. The typically subtle northern accent she had was now amplified. Another glance at the glass in her hand told me that it was probably wine and not blood she was drinking.

                “Miss?” I took another step across the floor. Finally, Miss Love lifted her head to look at me. Her cheeks were covered in red streaks. She had been crying. Her eyes that normally glowed a bright red looked dull and empty.

                “’Ow much loonger?” she repeated.

                “It’s nearly 10:00, but Miss, Seras told me you haven’t left your room all day.”

                “Did she now?” Miss Love lifted the glass and poured the remaining liquid down her throat.

                “Miss, you can’t just neglect your duties like that. What if Sir Integra were to find out and-“

                “Oh, jus’ shoot oop already!” She slammed the glass on to the windowsill. “Talk, talk, talk, is tha’ all you people ever do?”

                I found myself taking a step back. I had never heard her speak like this. “You’re drunk.”

                Her head fell to the side and a brittle smile spread across her lips. “No shit, Sherlock!” She started to laugh quietly. “It’s amazing wot an inability to regenerate will let’chu ge’ away wiv. ‘Oo knows, maybe this year tha’ case of alcohol poisoning Oi’ve been trying for will finally work out!”

                “Stop this.  You can’t be serious,” I hissed out.

                She blinked several times and then got up from her place on the windowsill, stumbling to the side. She placed her right hand on her desk for support. “Tha’s wot me mum said too. She never took me seriously.”

                I didn’t understand why she was doing this to herself, and now she was talking about her mother? Just how much had she had to drink?

                “But now she’s dead,” she added matter-of-factually. “They’re all dead. I should be dead too, but here I am three years later.”

                I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach as everything suddenly clicked into place. My mouth hung open. How could I have been so blind, so inconsiderate? Why didn’t I recognize that what she was trying to tell me last night? I should have just brought her with me!

                “And wot d’you know, Oi’m drinking it all away jus’ loike she’d expect me to. Well, I guess she was roigh’ about one thing for once in ‘er life… and yet.” Her eyes fells to the floor, “Would you look a’ ‘ow far Oi’ve come?! She never would’a dreamed I’d be where I am now, never would’a dreamed I meant anything to anyone!” She reached up for her cross, but yanked her hand away. “Goddammit!” she cursed, waving her hand back and forth. “Ugh, I don’ even know why I still wear this focking thing!” With a swift and violent movement she tore the cross from her neck and threw it to the floor. “Make-believing loike we were close, actually believing that I meant anything to ‘er at all!” She slammed her heel down on the pendant.  “ _Oh, Mrs. Love, I heard yer daughter is shagging one of ‘er professors! Mrs. Love, ‘ow does it feel to know yer daughter’s a whore? Mrs. Love, I saw yer daughter walking with another girl the other day, I never knew she was a lesbian!_ ” She began trying to mimic different voices as she continued to twist her heel against the pendant.  “ _Yer a disgrace to this family, Melody! Wot’s wrong wit’chu? Why can’tyou be loike yer li’le sister?_ ” With that last word, the cross snapped into several pieces. She was suddenly very still, her tirade appearing to have come to an end. Then I noticed she was shaking.  Red tears suddenly came pouring down her face. She choked out a few sharp cries before she wiped the blood away and looked at me with her stained eyes. “And as for you, Walter…”

                I bit my lip. It seemed that no one was safe from her drunken rage tonight, including me. I kept quiet. I had heard many an alcohol-fueled rant back when Sir Arthur was still alive. She would tire herself out soon enough.  Whatever she had to say, I could handle it, God knows I’d heard it all.

                “My Lord and Master, the man I have sworn to follow fer the rest of my undead existence. Do you have any idea wot you do?” A single tear slid down her face. She didn’t bother brushing it away this time. “Today of all days, why? Wot do I ‘ave to do to get’chu to understand tha’ I need you?” She took a few steps toward me. It wasn’t anger in her voice now, but a pleading sadness, and it hurt. “I try so ‘ard! I know I fock up and Oi’m a pathetic excuse for an apprentice, but Oi’m trying! You barely talk to me and yer so cold! You were always the one ‘oo wanted me to stop being so formal, but now look at’chu! Please, Walter, I don’ want to be alone anymore!” The next sentence came out as a whisper, “Why did you ‘ave to change, Walter? I loved you just the way you were.”

                I found it hard to fight the smile and quiet laugh that crept out under my breath. “I am a bit old for you, don’t you think?” It was meant as a joke, something to maybe make her smile. Hearing her talk like this was more painful than I ever could have imagined.

                She scowled, her eyes suddenly flaring up like a small fire. She stumbled over to me, standing only a few centimeters away. “Jus’ shoot oop.” She yanked me down by my tie and smashed her lips into mine. I stood in complete shock. She tasted like alcohol and blood. Her left hand latched on to the fabric of my shirt and her chest was pressed against me.  Worse yet, I felt my body responding. I pushed her back, but kept my hands firmly on her shoulders.

                I stared at her, unable to find any words that would express what was going on inside my head. A small smile formed on her lips and she giggled. I lifted my hands off her shoulders and she immediately fell back into me. Had she done that on purpose or was her balance really that poor? I instinctively wrapped my arms around her to keep her from falling. Her head began to slump to the side as her eyes rolled back in her head.

                “Shit…” I cursed, but reacted quickly, picking her up so her head rested on my shoulder. I carried her over to her bed and laid her down. It was difficult to believe how peaceful she seemed now, after seeing the rage that had just poured out of her. Although that certainly wasn’t the worst of it… I could still faintly taste her on my lips. “Damn it all,” I cursed. _Uncomfortable_ didn’t even begin to cover how I felt. I needed to get out, get some fresh air, but… “Ugh.” I started to hurry out of her room, but caught myself. I walked across the floor to the window and knelt down. Her pendant lay on the floor, utterly destroyed. I picked up the remains and put them carefully into my vest pocket. When the influence of alcohol was gone, she would probably want this back. I returned to my room and laid down for bed, but as much as I wanted a day like this to end, my mind would not allow me to rest. Miss Love was more than a handful at times, but never was she useless or a failure. I had never even thought of what her life before Hellsing could have been like. She seemed so proper, aside from her occasional violent outburst. I had come to assume that was just the nature of a vampire, to break into a more animalistic form from time to time. In reality, I no longer believed that to be the case. She was flawed, perhaps even more so than what I just witnessed. I didn’t know if anything she had said was true, most of it seemed impossible, but one thing was clear: Melody Love was not the prim and proper young woman I had always seen her as, and I was ashamed for having ever thought it.

* * *

 

 

                I stood there in only my pants, facing the mirror. I lifted my right hand to my throat. Felt my shoulders and then my arms. This body was mine. I felt the rough patches that seemed to cover so much of my skin. These scars… they were mine too. I reached out and the glass rippled at my fingertips.

                “Melody…” I took hold of her hand and she stepped out of the ripples of the mirror. I brought her close to me, wrapping my arms protectively around her waist. Her bare chest pressed against me and her arms locked around my neck. Her skin was smooth and untouched, the way it should be.  I looked down into her bright blue eyes.

                “Walter.” Her voice was a soft whisper. “It’s your fault.” She stepped out of my grasp. Scars began spread across her skin. They cracked open and blood began pour out. It dripped down her body like running water.

                “Melody!” I reached for her as she slipped to the floor, arms and legs bound, with her nightgown torn apart.

 

                I woke up in a cold sweat, breathing heavily. My eyes darted around. Miss Love was nowhere to be found. I was alone. The light of early morning was beginning to crack through in between the curtains. A glance at my clock told me it was nearly 6:00. I had overslept.

                As I showered and got dressed, pulling on my trousers and my white shirt, I began examining myself. The marks I had seen in that dream were gone. The images of both Miss Love standing in front of me, naked, and seeing her lifeless and bound on the floor were still vivid in my mind.

                “What is the point of such a dream? Disgusting!” I muttered to myself. Again I felt uncomfortable. “For God’s sake…” For now, I was just going to ignore it. The feeling would pass. I had more pressing issues at hand.

                I stood outside Miss Love’s room. The dream was not the only thing lingering in my thoughts.  The things she said last night in that blind rage, the kiss, would she remember any of them? I needed to walk into this room prepared for whichever girl was waiting for me. I knocked on her door lightly with the back of my hand.  I could hear her faint reply of “Come in,”  from somewhere beyond the wood.

                I found her as just a mass of blankets on her bed, the curtains closed with no sign that she had moved all night.

                “It’s about time you got up, Miss.” I approached the side of her bed and pulled the blankets off of her. Her only reply was a mess of inhuman noises that I took for pleading, to which I responded, “No complaining.”

                She lifted her head to look at me. I froze. She looked worse than death. There were dark circles under her eyes and blood stains that still clung to her cheeks. This coupled with the revealing night gown that she wore sent shivers down my spine.

                “Master…?” she spoke quietly. “Is something wrong?”

                I averted my eyes, and found myself unable to speak. What in the hell was wrong with me? Last night had not happened and that dream was only a dream, nothing more. I could not let such trivial things affect me.

                “Did you come in here last night? I feel like we talked, but, ugh!” She covered her eyes with her hands. “I can’t remember.”

                The muscles in my shoulders relaxed. She did not remember her rant or the kiss for that matter. ‘ _I should see to it that it stays that way,’_ I decided. “Yes Miss, I was here. You were drunk.”

                She frowned. I could see the shame in her eyes. “Forgive me, sir. You should not have seen me like that.”

                It made me inexplicably angry to hear her apology. “You’re right, I shouldn’t have. Instead you should have just been honest with me.”

                Miss Love seemed surprised.  “I’m sorry, sir. I should have told you.”

                “Stop apologizing,” I ordered.

                “But I-“

                “I said _enough_.” I stared her down. “I’m giving you the day off. Sleep off this hangover you’ve given yourself.”

                “Thank you, sir, I-“

                “But, on one condition.” I cut her off and leaned in close to her. “Never do this again. Do you hear me?”

                “Yes, sir.”

                I stood up straight. “Good.” I nodded. “Good night Miss.”

                “Good night, Master. Thank you.”

                I turned and left her room after she had wrapped herself back up in her blankets. The door shut behind me and I slid down the wooden surface of the door. I did not have the heart to punish a girl that hated herself so much.


	10. What Should Have Remained Unseen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter finally learns the truth behind the flashing images. He might have been better off not knowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one I have folks. I've been working on chapter 11 for probably a year now. I will see this story through but it will take some time. Thank you for your patience.

******TRIGGER WARNING**** This chapter contains the following: Suggestions of rape, torture, and emotional abuse.**

**December 16 th 2006**

**Hellsing Estate**

**3:45 PM**

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V.**

                “Walter, do you have that order form for the silver filled out?” Sir Integra flipped through her disorganized stack of papers that sat in a heap on her desk.

                “Yes, Sir, I gave you the form this morning,” I answered as I placed her cup of tea beside her.

                “Oh, here it is. Would you… send it in for me?” She looked up at me with pleading eyes that I hadn’t seen in quite some time. Our crusade across London, eliminating the targets that had been provided by Miss Love nearly six months ago, had become a much larger undertaking than we had anticipated. It was certainly taking its toll on her, as well as everyone else in the estate.

                “Of course, my lady. Is there anything else you require at the moment?” I accepted the sheets of paper from her.

                “No… you have your errands to run today, don’t you? I’ve kept you long enough.” She ignored the tea and went straight for her cigars.

                “No, ma’am, I sent Miss Love a few hours back. I believe Miss Victoria is accompanying her.”

                Sir Integra paused, this time switching out the cigar for the tea. “Those two? I fear for the safety of London.”

                I laughed to myself. The image of them wreaking havoc on the city was perhaps a little too real. “They should be returning any time now,” ‘ _Or at least they’d better be…’_

                “Very well.  You may return to your duties, Walter. I’m fine here.” She reached again for the cigar.

                “As you wish, Sir.” I bowed my head slightly and started towards the door. I went straight along the hallway towards my office when I heard laughter echoing down stairs. ‘ _Ah, they’re back,’_ I smiled and turned for the stairs. ‘ _I should at least make sure that their errands went well,’_ I decided, pushing the paperwork and dusting I had yet to do to the back of my mind.

                I found the two of them walking towards the corridor where Miss Love and I’s rooms were located. They were giggling to themselves and Miss Love had something clutched protectively against her chest.

                “Good afternoon, ladies,” I greeted them as I reached for the cigarettes in my back pocket.

                “Oh, good afternoon, sir. How are you?” Miss Love looked up and then to the side, her face suddenly flushing. Miss Victoria raised her hand to her mouth, laughing under her breath. “Seras, shut up!”

                “What? Me? What did I do?” Seras continued to laugh.

                “Just cut it out!”

                “I’m not doing anything!”

                “Not doing anything my ass!”

                “Ladies?” I interrupted them.

                Miss Love froze, her face more red than ever. “Y-yes sir, sorry sir.”

                “Now, it seems to me,” I continued, “that you’re both up to no good. So, tell me, ladies…” I flicked open my lighter and took a quick drag on my cigarette. “What’s in the bag?” I eyed my apprentice specifically.

                Miss Love started to sway back and forth nervously. It was Seras who stepped forward, taking the bag from her. “Oh, you know, the usual!  A bomb, a gun, an _obscene_ amount of drugs, a dead baby, and one very large knife!”

                It took nearly every ounce of strength I had inside me to keep myself from cracking a smile. I felt my right eyebrow twitching. “Just how much would be considered obscene?”

                “Enough to kill a man,” Miss Love chimed in.

                “Twice,” Seras added.

                ‘ _Interesting…’_ “Carry on, ladies.” I walked past them, unable to subdue the smile and subtle laughter any longer. I could hear them whispering behind me.

* * *

 

 

                The dusting was done. The paperwork was not done, but I couldn’t stare at the forms and reports any longer. “How dull…” I muttered under my breath, pushing the papers out of my reach. It was one of those days. The itch to get an assignment was back again. What I wouldn’t give to tear something apart, but I hadn’t seen an assignment since the night I rescued Miss Love. I doubted that Sir Integra would ever allow it again. Perhaps the next time Miss Love went out I would talk my way into joining her. I might even let her get away with some unnecessary violence should she allow me to take part.

                I couldn’t help but laugh. There was something in the way that she dismantled her enemies that I thoroughly enjoyed, sometimes more than her charming façade or sarcastic wit.

                “What could she be up to?” I wondered out loud. I suddenly felt the urge to be by her side, practicing with her. ‘ _Miss?_ ’ I called to her. I waited a few moments. No response. “That’s odd.” ‘ _Miss Love, can you hear me?”_ This time I waited a minute or two and still got only silence. “Damn it, girl.” Her lack of response was giving me a sinking feeling. She never took more than a second or two to respond to me. We hadn’t exactly experimented much with this ability. Did we have a cap on the distance that could be between us? But even if such a thing did exist, then where could she have run off to?

                I got up from my desk and started down the hallway. She was nowhere on the third floor, which was to be expected. She rarely left the subbasement or 1st floor when working. I decided to check her room next since it was one the way.

                I went to knock on her door, but it was already cracked open. I stopped, my hand frozen against the wood. I closed my eyes, tried to focus. Was she in there? I could hear something. A drop? Running water? I opened the door and stepped inside, quickly shutting it behind me. I glanced around her room. Her bed sheets lay in an untidy mess. I sighed. She was the worst with remembering to keep her room together.

                In the center lay a crumpled plastic bag and another ball of fabric. “Did she forget to put her towel in the laundry again?” I strode over to her bedside and unwrapped the mound. It was her clothes. “Agh, daft girl can’t even take proper care of her-” I stopped midsentence when I found myself staring down at her bra and panties, black and covered in lace. “She… wears this sort of thing?” I could feel a deep red spreading across my cheeks. Before another thought could enter my head I crumpled up her clothes and tossed them back on her sheets. The undergarments she chose to wear were none of my concern or interest. I went to her WC door and knocked on it. She must be showering. Although that didn’t explain her lack of response, at least I knew where she was. “Miss Love?” I called out loud.

                This time there was complete silence. The running water I had heard was not there anymore. Why wasn’t she answering me? “Miss!” I slammed my fist against the door, but she still didn’t answer me. My mind was starting to race. If she was ill or injured she would still somehow manage to answer me. ‘ _The comments made by her and Seras… those had been jokes, right? She wouldn’t really have brought something like drugs or explosives in the estate…?’_ Truthfully, I was worried about something much worse. The image of her sprawled on the floor, with her body ripped to shreds, my recurring nightmare, began to seep back into my skull. “Miss Love? I’m coming in!” I grasped the door knob and pushed it open. A small wave of warm steam rolled out to meet me. I turned towards the tub on the left and saw her arm hanging limp over the edge.

                “MELODY!” I lunged forward tore back the shower curtain, pulled her out of the water and held her tightly. “Melody…”

                In my arms she looked up at me with her red eyes. “Ma-master?” her voice squeaked out.

                “Melody? You’re…” I found myself trailing off as my right hand brushed against her cheek.

                She reached up to her ears and pulled on the thick black wires that were connected to them. They looked like ear plugs. “Master, what are you doing?” her voice was still a quiet whisper.

                “Y-you weren’t responding, and I…” My words disappeared again as my eyes fell, tracing the path of a water droplet that slid down her neck on to her exposed breasts and stomach.

Two realizations hit me all at once. First: she was fine. Second: I was holding my apprentice, naked, in my arms and I was staring at her. The water that still clung to her pale skin soaked through my gloves and the sleeves of my shirt. There was smear from a bar of soap on her neck. She smelled softly of flowers. I traced loose strands of her black hair back to her face. Her cheeks were burning a bright red.

                “I’m sorry, Miss…” I let go of her, suddenly mortified with myself. I stood up and used my right hand as a shield, covering my eyes. “I am terribly sorry, Miss, I-I thought-” I stopped myself. What I thought didn’t matter. I turned and walked out, closing the door behind me, and then out of her room straight to mine. I gently closed my door and then leaned back against it. “Damn it,” I cursed between my teeth. I made my way to my own WC and locked the door. Leaning over the sink, I dared not to look at my own reflection. The images of her figure were etched into my brain. I wished that I felt nauseated by my thoughts. I wanted to vomit, purge the image of her body from my mind, but it refused to leave. The curves of her waist and the water droplets that hung on to her breasts were the only things I could see. “Just go away already, like you always do,” I begged, but my body wasn’t listening to me this time. “Damn it all!” I gripped the edges of the sink. “Damn it…” I shut my eyes. I was no longer above giving in.

* * *

 

 

                My eyes were glued to my papers. It was well past 11:00PM, but I didn’t feel like going to bed. Who knows what sort of horrid nightmare would be waiting for me tonight? The things that had occurred today were not things I wished to experience again. I’d rather put it off awhile longer.

                “Master?”

                I looked up to see Miss Love standing in the doorway. The muscles in my shoulders tensed up.

                “Yes, Miss?” I lowered my eyes back to the paper in front of me.

                ‘ _We have things we need to discuss, sir.’_ I could hear her voice echo in my head.

                I had no right to deny her. I put down my pen and met her eyes. “Yes… I suppose we do.”

                ‘ _Not here._ ’ She held up her hand. ‘ _Alucard is awake.’_

* * *

 

               

                We soon found ourselves walking the outskirts of the estate. Sounds of late night training between whom I assumed to be Alucard and Miss Victoria were echoing in the distance. Miss Love had yet to say a word.

                “Miss, would you allow me to explain?”

                She nodded silently. Her right hand reached up to her neck, like she wanted to reach for her cross, even though she knew it wasn’t there. I still had yet to give it back to her. I don’t think she knew what had happened to it.

                “I was looking for you. I kept calling and you didn’t answer. I was worried, I thought-” I stopped myself again, the images of her naked body were back.

                “I’m sorry for worrying you sir. I didn’t think you would need me so soon.” She glanced up at me.

                “Don’t do it again,” I heard myself say. I cringed at my own words.

                “Yes sir,” she replied. “Can I make it up to you?”

                “Pardon?”

                “Are you hungry, Master?” she asked with a smile.

                “Well…” I thought back and realized I hadn’t had dinner. “Yes, I suppose so.”

                Miss Love leaned up against one of the many trees that sat at the edge of the estate and pulled a throwing knife from her belt. She rolled up her left sleeve and motioned for me to join her. “Well?”

                Something about the suddenness of it made it feel wrong. I had come to accept and enjoy Tuesday evenings with her. It was a few brief seconds of satisfaction. But was it really right for me to do this?  Then again, if she was really willing to let me have another drink, how could I say no?

* * *

 

 

                2:00AM and I still hadn’t gone to bed. I had stayed up with Miss Love in the basement. We sparred and practiced with our silver wires, challenging each other to see just how far we could push our movements. She had become so fluid and quick, I found it hard to believe that this was the same girl I had to teach to walk almost a year ago. She still needed experience.  She hadn’t beaten me yet, but she only admitted defeat when there was nothing more we could destroy.

                “I’m going to bed!” She paused to yawn. “Good night, Master.”

                “Good night, Miss.” I watched her disappear behind her wooden door.

 I found myself wandering back into my office. I had left my desk in a disastrous state. I should at least tidy up some of the papers before going to bed.

                I saw his shadow before I heard him. “Good evening, little angel.” Alucard stood in the corner by the window.

                My whole body seized up. What could he possibly want this time? It seemed to me that the only time we interacted these days was when he felt the need to stir up more trouble between Miss Love and I.

                “Good evening, Alucard,” I greeted him, keeping my focus on collecting my pens and sorting papers.

                “What’s wrong, angel? You seem tense,” he chuckled.

                ‘ _There is no way he could know,’_ I reminded myself. ‘ _Not at all!’_ “Did you come here for a reason, Alucard? Or are you simply here to pester me? As I recall, you have a servant you could be terrorizing instead.”

                “Oh come now, Walter.” He strode over to the red chair by my bookcase. “I’m dropping by to see how things are going between you and the little girl.”

                “Fine, thank you. She’s developed into a skilled fighter,” I said.

                “You seem quite proud of her,” he remarked under more quiet laughter.

                “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be? Mel—Miss Love is a talented young woman and one of the most effective weapons Hellsing has at its disposal.”

                Alucard did not respond this time. I could see his red eyes fixed on me.

                “Not that this isn’t a riveting conversation, but I had best be going. I have to be awake again in three hours or so.” I started to walk towards the hall, but stopped mid step. “Actually…” I turned back to him. “Could you explain something to me?  About drinking blood, I mean.”

                “Oh?” He grinned. “What is it?”

                “When you drink blood, do you…” I paused. It felt almost embarrassing to be asking him this sort of thing, but I couldn’t imagine asking Miss Love. “Do you see images flashing behind your eyes?”

                The smile fell off his face. “Well, yes, but not often. Who is your source, little angel?” He raised an eyebrow. “Because you certainly must have noticed that it must be fresh for you to see them clearly.”

                “Oh, of course…”

                “Then I’m curious, Walter, who is it?”

                “Does it matter?”

                “No…” he answered. “I suppose it doesn’t.” Alucard shifted around in his seat. “You’re seeing their memories, Walter, their entire lives are flashing inside your head. Are you looking to slow them down?”

                I nodded.

                “You need to go in there in search of something specific. Focus on the memory or information you’re looking to extract and you’ll be able to hone in on it,” he answered, but still had that look of suspicion on his face.

                ‘ _Interesting…’_ I thought.  “Good night, Alucard. Thank you.”

                “You’re still not going to tell me who?” he persisted.

                “No, I’m off to bed. Perhaps some other time.” I walked out and closed the door to my office behind me. I had no intention of ever telling him anything.

* * *

 

 

                “Are you sure?” I asked as Miss Love rolled up her sleeves. “You did just let me drink from you a few days ago.”

                “I offered that to you as an apology, sir. It didn’t negate our arrangement.” She smiled.

                I was a bit surprised, but thankful at the same time. I would get to taste her blood again and I could finally put that advice Alucard gave me to use. But what would I look for?

                “Master?” Miss Love looked up at me with a puzzled expression. I blinked a few times, realizing that I had been staring off into space. “Master, are you alright?”

                “Oh, yes, sorry. I was just thinking.”

                “I know,” she said with slight grin.

                I knocked her upside the head, gently. “I’m sure.”

                For a few moments our eyes met. The candy red color of her irises was so different from the bright blue I saw every night in my nightmares. It was softer, but still cut through darkness like headlights. There were times I wished her eyes had never turned. Why couldn’t she have retained her harsh blue eyes? As much as I loved to watch her become the fighter she’s turned into, I sometimes wished she had never-

                She turned her head, as if she had realized I was staring at her. Her cheeks flushed suddenly.

                ‘ _Shit…’_ I cursed myself. How could I be so careless to think about this sort of thing when she was standing right next me? This lack of sleep was starting to take its toll.

                “Should we get started, sir?” she asked. Her voice sounded so cold, like she was talking about beginning a training exercise. It was almost upsetting. Wasn’t this--? ‘ _No.’_ I stopped myself. This was an agreement we had made because I am a pathetic excuse for a vampire, nothing more.

                “Yes,” I answered.

                As the knife started to glide across her skin my mind began to race. What would I look for?

                She looked up at me; her red eyes seemed a little brighter now. What was she like before now? Could I look that far back? Would she let me? Surely she could hear my thoughts.

                “Ready?”

                I nodded. Was she not going to stop me? Moments later, her blood was running down my throat and the images started.

                ‘ _Focus, focus on her eyes.’_ I thought. The images started to slow down and then stopped. ‘ _There_!’

* * *

 

 

                “Hey Mel?” A girl with shoulder-length brown hair stood in the doorway. Was she talking to me?

                “Yeah?” I said, only darting my eyes up from the book in front of me for a moment.

                “Dinner’s ready,” she answered, and then stood there, tugging at the bottom of her shirt.

                “What is it, Connie? You look like you wanna say something.” I closed my book and swung my legs over the edge of my bed. I looked at the girl. I didn’t know her, but I felt like I did. Something about the way she stood with her shoulders hunched forward felt familiar. Why did she look so nervous?

                “Could you help me with my psychology homework tonight?” she asked.

                “You’re taking psychology?”

                “Yes, they just started offering it as an elective,” the girl responded, wringing her bunched up shirt.

                “Sure why not?” I walked up to her and ruffled her hair. “Let’s go see what Mum cooked up for supper.”

                She nodded, a weak smile creeping on to her face and disappeared out of the doorway and down the hall. I reached for a light switch and closed my door behind me.

                The hallway was dark. The wooden floor creaked under my bare feet. I turned the corner and shuffled down a narrow staircase. I turned to the left and walked into the brightly lit kitchen where an older man with dark hair that was starting to go gray sat a wooden table. His round glasses hung on the tip of his nose. By the stove, a woman with short brown hair stood with her back turned, one hand on her hip.

                I felt lightness in my chest when I saw the older man. “Dad!” I hurried over to him. “I didn’t think you’d be home yet!”

                He greeted me with an arm around the shoulder and quiet laugh. “And miss our first dinner with you home? I wouldn’t dream of it.”

                I gave him a playful shove and walked to the sink to wash my hands.

                “My goodness, Melody, what on earth are you wearing?” The woman looked me over. Her face was scrunched up into a look of disgust.

                My right eyebrow started to twitch. “Mum, it’s just a night gown,” I said calmly.

                “Go change, it’s below zero outside,” she ordered.

                “It’s just a night gown,” I stated.

                “You look like a bloody prostitute!” she shouted.

                “Denise!” the man yelled.

                “Well, would you look at her, Charles? She might as well be walking around naked, flashing the whole God-damned neighborhood!”

                “That’s enough!” he argued.

                “You’d have to be insane to wear something like that! And just look at her sister! What kind of influence do you think she’s having on Constance? Just because she wants to throw her body at any man that passes by doesn’t mean she has the right to drag her poor sister down to hell with her!”

                I took off out of the room and sprinted back upstairs, slamming the door behind me. I threw myself back on to my bed. I could hear the argument still raging downstairs.

                _“She just got home for God’s sake! Can’t you go one night without ragging on the poor thing about it?”_

_“What, so I’m just supposed to let her walk around the house, looking like a slut?”_

                I wanted to cry. I was trying to, but I couldn’t get a single tear to come.

                A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door and the girl, Constance, slipped inside.

                “Mel?”

                “Yeah?” I answered, though I didn’t really want to talk. I wanted her to leave.

                “I think you look pretty.”

                “Don’t let Mum hear you say that, or she’ll crucify me,” I spat back. I looked back at her, her eyes were wide and big tears were starting well up and spill over the edges.

                “I-I’m sorry,” she choked out.

                The longer I looked at her the more I realized this girl couldn’t be more than fourteen. There was still something bugging me about how familiar she felt. Something about her hair, her loose clothes, her big eyes. Had I seen her somewhere before? No that would be impossible; this… this wasn’t even real.  Was it?

                I pushed myself back to my feet and walked up to her, pulling her into my arms. “It’s not your fault, sweetie. It’s better for you if I’m not here.”

                “But I miss seeing you!” she cried into my chest, hugging my waist.

                I smiled. “Let’s get that homework of yours done.

* * *

 

                “Tell me what this part of the brain is?” I pointed to the unlabeled diagram in front of me. Constance scrunched up her face.

                “The frontal lobe?” she said hesitantly.

                “And what does it do?”

                “Long term memory!”

                “Yes! Good, now let’s—” My words were interrupted by the sound of smashing glass. I took a quick glance at the clock on the nightstand. It was nearly midnight. I had heard the footsteps of what I assumed to be my—Miss Love’s parents going to bed a few hours ago. I rose to my feet.

                “Mel?”

                “Shhh,” I hushed her. “Stay here, Connie, and don’t make a sound.”

                “Mel, wait, don’t!”

                “Stay put!” I ordered and slid out the door, shutting off the lights and gently closing it behind me.

                “Melody!” a man’s voice whispered behind me.

                “Dad?” I turned around to see Miss Love’s father standing in the hallway.

                “Get back in your room and stay with your sister. I’m going down.”

                “Dad, wait! Stop!” I called after him, trying to keep from shouting. I had a sinking feeling that I knew what night this was. I shouldn’t be seeing this.

                When he disappeared around the corner and down the stairs, it was quiet. Then there was the sound of a struggle, more broken glass and a loud thud, ending in some quiet laughter.

                My legs started shaking. “Daddy?” I whispered, and started down the hallway. The stairs did not creak when I walked down them this time.

                ‘ _Don’t go down there, Miss!’_ I wanted to shout, but no sound came from my throat, and I knew that even if I could speak, it would make no difference. I was starting to separate from Miss Love. I could feel it. The longer this went on, the more aware I was that this body and these memories were not mine. My own thoughts were breaking off from hers.

We hid and peered around the corner. Miss Love’s father was on the floor and there was blood everywhere. His chest had been ripped open. Two men wearing nothing but black stood over his body. I could feel and hear the heart in her chest stop for a moment. We backed up against the table in the kitchen. She couldn’t keep her breathing under control.

‘ _You’ve got to calm down! They will find you! Breathe girl, breathe!’_ I found myself trying to shout again.

 Our hand bumped into something on the table. we grabbed hold of it and held it in front of us.

‘ _A candle stick?’_ It looked silver to me, but she couldn’t possibly know that.

We started to move forward. When we reached the corner we sneaked a look around it. I felt the sinking feeling in my gut go deeper. Her heart skipped again as we watched them shove their hands into his chest. But this time I could feel rage starting to build up. We leaped out from behind the corner and slammed the candle stick into the shoulder of one of the vampires. His arm flung up and sent us flying into the already shattered glass coffee table. I could feel a sharp pain shoot up our right side.

“Dumb cunt.” He got to his feet, rubbing his shoulder.  His accent was distinctly northern.

“Wot did she ‘it you with?” the other asked.

“The fock if I know, but it bloody well hurt!” The first one stood over her and whistled. “Well, would you look a’ this? She’s all dressed up loike she was waitin’ for us! How koind of you, sweet’eart!” He picked us up by the neck and started running his hands down our chest.

_‘Don’t you fucking touch her!’_

He grasped our night gown between his fingers, like he was going to tear it off. The heartbeat in our chest was getting louder. ‘ _Let go, please don’t!’_ But before he could, heavy footsteps came pounding down the stairs.

“Mel!” Constance rushed in.

“Connie, run!” we screamed.

“Shut yer mouth!” He knocked us across the face and then dropped her back into the pile of broken glass. Another shot of pain went coursing through our back.

The vampire was going after Constance now. Another set of footsteps came crashing in. “Constance!” Miss Love’s mother started screaming. “Oh, my God, Charles!”

“Andy, I’ll ‘andle the girl, you can have the woman,” the one cornering her sister said.

“Wot about this one?” He pointed to us.

“Oh, I don’t think she’ll be gettin’ up any toime soon. She can wotch!”

“Suit yerself.” He shrugged and was suddenly in front of her mother.

“Melody, get up! Don’t just lay there; help your sister, God damn it!”

We reached for the candle stick again, but then eyed the cast-iron shovel and prong by the fire place. We reached and took the shovel and started to push ourselves to our feet. We went for the vampire that had Constance, lunging at him, and slamming into his skull.

He turned and looked back at us, his eyes glowing with anger. “Big mistake!” He pulled the gun at his side and pulled the trigger. The bullet shot straight through our left leg.

Even during her nightmares I had never heard her scream like that. I felt dizzy. This was too much. It was too intense. The next thing I knew, we were tied to a chair. The vampire we’d struck over the head was now standing in front of us, the other holding Miss Love’s mother and sister.

“Wotch closely, ladies! This is wot will ‘appen if you try anythin’ funny loike she did.” He shot through the right leg this time. I couldn’t hold the connection any longer. I was only watching now, like her sister and mother, I could only watch as he tossed the gun and pulled out a knife and started to cut. I only wished that it had ended there.

* * *

 

 

And then it was over. I was in my room. Miss Love was beside me. I took one look at her and before I could stop myself, I pulled her in by her wrist and locked my arms around her.

                “Master?”

                “Just be quiet. Let me do this,” I whispered. To think that she lived through such a thing? I was perhaps only thirty minutes away. We could have stopped the whole chain of events. We had known about those two for weeks, but we let them continue their murdering spree. Hellsing could have stopped it.

                She stayed quiet while I held her. I could hear her breathing gently into my shirt. It was a relief. I did not know her then, but the idea that a disgusting monster like that had put his hands on her, had hurt like that her, made my blood boil.

                “How much did you see, sir?” she asked.

                “Too much.” My grip tightened. I didn’t care to admit to any of it: The torture, the fate of her sister and mother, I never should have seen it. There were so many things that I wanted to say. Sorry, was the first thing that came to mind, but sorry didn’t mean anything. No, I wanted to tell her how glad I was that she made it here. I wanted to tell her that I understood why now, with that young girl on her first assignment. But all I managed was, “No wonder you got drunk. Stupid girl…”

                “Sir?”

                “Keep quiet. Just a little longer, please,” I said.

                I didn’t care at this moment that she was my apprentice. She was too important. I couldn’t allow myself to let her go.


	11. Side Effects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The consequences from seeing Melody's memories begin to manifest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for rape on this chapter

**December 29 th 2006**

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V**

He lifted her up by her throat. “Well would you look what we got here, she got all dressed up for us!”

                This wasn’t real. This was Miss Love’s memories, but it was different this time. I was watching through my own eyes.                 There were shards of glass lodged in her arm and side. Patches of blood started to seep through the fabric of her nightgown. Miss Love started struggling. Twisting against him and clawing at the hand around her throat.

                “You were waiting for us weren’t you? How kind of you, sweetheart!” He grabbed on to the top of her dress.

                Any second now it would be over. Her sister would run down the stairs and I would wake up. I wouldn’t have to watch Constance’s’ fate again. But she didn’t. He tore open her dress and waited only a moment before ripping off her panties. ‘ _No! Stop, this isn’t how it goes! Fight him, Melody, fight!’_ I tried to force myself forward, reach for her. He would not defile her, no! It was Constance who was raped that night not her. Why wasn’t she coming to stop him?

                She continued to struggle, kicking him and even landed a punch on his left cheek. “Help me out here, mate. She’s a feisty one.”

                “No let me go!” Miss Love started screaming. The vampire pulled the red ribbon out of her hair and used it to tie her wrists behind her back. “Walter!”

                _‘Melody, I’m right here!’_ The harder I pushed towards her the less I could move. Was I chained? It didn’t matter, I had to break free! She was right in front of me, just reach for her! ‘ _Melody, I’m coming, just keep fighting him! I won’t let him touch you I swear!’_

“Shut your mouth!” The one holding her smacked her across the face. “Play nice girly.”

                She glared at him and spat into his face. “Go fuck yourself.”

                “I’ve had just about enough of your smart mouth!” He balled up a piece of her dress he’d torn off her and stuffed it in her mouth. He dropped her on to the floor and pushed her face in the carpet

                ‘ _Melody! Please let me go! She’s needs me! Don’t make me watch this!’_

                I could see the big tears starting to well up in her eyes.

                _‘Master, help me!_ ’ I heard her voice beg as he penetrated her. 

* * *

 

               

                Before I was even fully awake I was running. I was at her door before I could process what was going on. It wasn’t until I was inside, standing at her bedside and looking down at her sleeping figure that I understood that it had been a nightmare.

                I took a deep breath and fell on to my knees. “Thank God.” The words sent what felt like a spark down my throat. Not that I cared. I would thank God for this no matter how many times it happened. These nightmares were becoming more frequent. They had been getting worse but this…had everything beat by far. “My dear apprentice, is that what you watched every night before you found me?” I said out loud. She was sleeping so peacefully, yet another thing to be thankful for. I was so glad that she didn’t scream anymore, especially now that I knew what she saw. She had twisted herself out from underneath some of her blankets. I pulled them back over her and moved a few strands of hair out of her face. “My poor girl…”

                I stood up and looked down at her. I wanted to hold on to her again, I wanted to feel the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed. If it would stop the nightmares I wanted to hold on to her till sunrise, but I ignored that thought. I slumped into the chair at her desk. I didn’t see myself going to bed again tonight. I couldn’t handle watching that twice. I would stay here a while longer to assure that she was fine. The clock on her night stand read nearly 3:00. I picked up a book she had laying amongst a few papers and flipped open the cover. ‘ _I’ll Read for a few minutes then get back to my room and get ready a bit early,_ ’ that’s what I would do. ‘ _What is this book even about?’_

* * *

 

 

                “Master?” Miss Love’s voice called.

                I groaned something close to a “Yes?”

                “Are you feeling alright sir?”

                “Hmm?” I realized that my eyes were closed. I forced them open and found Miss Love standing in front of me, brushing out her hair. Where was I? I had been reading for a minute and then…I practically jumped out of the chair. “What time is it?”

                “Just after 6:30, sir,” she said, placing her hair brush down and tying back her hair with her ribbon.

                “Ugh…” I fell back down into the seat. “How did I fall asleep?”

                She leaned down and put the back of her hand on my forehead, as if she was testing to see if I had a fever. “I have to admit I was rather surprised to find you sitting there when I woke up this morning. You were out cold. I decided to let you sleep while I showered.” She walked to the mirror and adjusted her tie. “Did something happen last night?”

                “I was going to ask you if we could do some sparring. I didn’t realize how late it was so I decided to wait a while, and I must have fallen asleep. I do apologize.” I lied.

                “Is that all?” She tilted her head to the side. She wasn’t buying it, not that that came as much of a surprise. When she could hear every thought I’m not sure why I even tried.

                “Yes, Miss.”

                “Well then you must have really needed the rest. You go get ready. I’ll tend to Sir Integra. Meet me in the kitchen when you’re done?” she asked.

                “Yes, of course.” I nodded, only now realizing that I was still in a T-shirt and pants. ‘ _fall asleep in your apprentice’s room in your bloody pants? Have you lost your fucking mind Walter Dornez?’_

                I took my leave and rushed back to my room. I spent the entirety of my morning routine cursing myself. How could I fucking fall asleep in my fucking apprentice’s room wearing nothing more than a T-shirt and my fucking pants? I was a disgrace! I must have given her a bloody heart attack? To think I would allow her to see me in such a state was repulsive! It was pathetic that I was allowing something as harmless as a nightmare to destroy me. ‘ _I have to apologize.’_ I had decided by the time I reached the kitchen. Standing outside the small room I heard Miss Victoria’s voice, whispering.

                “Did something happen?” she asked.

                “He’s lying to me again, Seras.” Miss Love said.

                “But why, how do you know? I thought you said you were having trouble hearing his thoughts these past few weeks?”

                “I was, but not anymore. It’s crystal clear again. Seras I’m worried!” she added. “He knows about everything now. He’s seen everything.”

                “How?” Seras exclaimed.

                “It was an accident, but that’s hardly the issue here! I think he’s having nightmares.”

                “I’m assuming this isn’t just a hunch?”

                “He’s been having nightmares for at least a few weeks, even before he saw my memories, but it’s gotten worse. I woke up to him this morning, sitting at my desk, out cold! It scared me half to death! I thought he was ill or something! The circles under his eyes are getting so dark I’m starting to wonder if he sleeps at all! I don’t know what to do Seras!” Miss Love practically shouted.

                “Well forcing it out of the old man won’t work. You would know that better than anyone.”          “I know,” she sighed.

                “I’m heading to bed. I’ll catch up with you tonight.”

                “Alright, good night Seras.”

                The door opened and Miss Victoria stepped out in front of me. “Oh, Walter, good morning. Did you just get here?” she asked.

                “Good morning Miss Victoria, yes I was upstairs until a moment ago. Is something the matter?” I lied.

                “No sir. Melody is in there, waiting for you.” She shook her head and started to walk out of the room.

                “Good night, Seras.”

                “Good night, Walter.” She waved with the back of her hand.

                I went inside to join Miss Love, trying to push this morning’s mishap and things I had just heard, out of my mind. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Miss. Did you eat yet?”

                “Yes sir, I just finished actually.” she said, getting up from her seat and revealing that she was now wearing a skirt. If I had a heart beat it might have stopped. When did she put that on? Her outfits were the same as mine: purple vest, grey trousers, black tie, and gloves. Where did she even get it? I was the one who approved anything she thought of buying for her uniform. She looked actually quite lovely in it. It hugged her figure and accentuated her curves, but it was short…too short. Being able to bend over, let alone fight was out of the question in that! The men in place were perverted dogs. What one of them grabbed her and—No, no, no! I would not allow it!

                “I-is that a skirt?” I stuttered.

                “Oh yes! Sir Integra said that she has considered your request to make my clothes more feminine and agreed to it. She gave me this and told me to put it on. Do you like it?” She stood there with a big smile on her face. It infuriated me.

                “No, go change,” I ordered. The smile fell off her face. Her eyes were wide with confusion and she looked somewhat hurt.  

                “I’m just following orders, sir,” she said weakly.

                “I will speak with Sir Integra. It’s too short and inappropriate for this time of year. Go change.” As the words left my mouth they felt familiar. She had heard them before and so had I. “Please…” I added.

                “Yes, Master.” She disappeared from the room, almost running past me. Why did I keep doing this to her? I was the one having the nightmares about her, but she should know better! It’s bloody December! She’d freeze if we went outside.

                “Damn it!” I slammed my hand down on the counter before storming out of the room and up to the third floor where Sir Integra had only just sat down at her desk.

                “Good morning, Walter,” she greeted without looking up at me.

                “Good morning, Sir.” I answered, trying to conceal the rage that was still coursing through me.

                “Have you seen your apprentice this morning?” Sir Integra asked with a slight grin on her face. Did she think this was funny? Did the idea of her being a target for the men here appeal to her?

                “Yes Sir. I have asked her to return to her normal clothes.”

                “You were the one who said you wanted her to look more like a girl don’t you remember?” She finally made eye contact.

                “With all due respect my lady I made that request months ago. I hadn’t even gone to South America yet.” I said.

                “I fail to see the problem.”

                “Sir, its December!” I pointed out, raising my voice more than I wanted to. I corrected myself, relaxing shoulders and placing my arms behind my back. “It doesn’t seem proper for this time of year. She could catch a cold while training outside.”

                Sir Integra sighed, “She’s a vampire, Walter. The only thing she might catch is the wandering eyes of some of the men here.

                “Perhaps that’s a better reason to keep her out of such attire. I’ve witnessed the men attempting to put their hands on her multiple times. She isn’t some play thing for mercenary dogs.”

                Sir Integra put down her pen and reached for a cigar. “That she is not. If you’re so opposed to it then I have no objections to her being back in trousers, but I’m curious, Walter, when did you become so invested in the modesty of your apprentice?”

                I felt caught off guard by that question.  I didn’t used to feel this way did I? No I couldn’t have cared less how she dressed when I was human. I still refused to tolerate advances on her, but it was different. I had not held her naked body in my arms, I had not seen the violation of her sister through her own eyes, I had not…“I simply wish for her safety, Sir. I do care for the girl. She is my apprentice, as you said.”

                “Indeed she is.” She paused. “Very well, Walter. I see no need to drag this out any longer. Do whatever you see fit.” She waved me off.

                “Thank you, Sir. If you would excuse me.” I bowed my head slightly and turned, walking back out into the corridor. I was relieved.

                I headed for the first floor. I heard Miss Love’s voice echoing from down the hall. “I have work to do, Bryan. My Master is expecting me to meet him,” she said. She sounded uncomfortable.

                “Oh come now, sweetie. The old man can wait a few minutes can’t he? Why the change of wardrobe? You actually look like a real woman for once!”

                It felt like a lightning bolt went through my chest. I started fast walking towards where I heard her voice. “No!”

                I found her backed into a wall. I had him pinned to the ground, my wires wrapped around his neck, before he could even blink.

                “Keep your hands off my apprentice.” I hissed at him. I watched him as he clawed at his throat. His eyes were bulging out of their sockets. How easy it would be to take his head off, in fact it required more effort to not kill him. I wanted to. Then everyone would know to never touch her. ‘ _Everyone will know that she belongs to me!’_ ‘ _Did I really…just think that?’_ My hold on him started to loosen.

                “Walter!” Miss Love shouted. “That’s enough! Everyone knows you’re my Master, okay? Don’t kill him. He’s not worth it.” She touched my arm. Something about how she held on to me was calming. Was she always so gentle? She looked me square in the eyes. Was she going to try to persuade me?

                “Please let him go, Walter.” She whispered. I waited for the dizziness and forced response, but it never came. I retracted the wires into my hand and stood up, not taking my eyes off my apprentice. That urge was back again. Why did I feel such a need to be close to her?

 ‘ _I’m going to bring this man to his Captain,’_ I told her. ‘ _Please go change into some trousers and wait for me there. I will join you shortly.’_

                ‘ _Yes, sir,’_ she answered.

                I nodded and tried to force a smile before turning back to the mercenary who was still on the ground. “On your feet solider,” I ordered. The man started to scramble to his feet and back away from me. “We’re going to have a word with your captain, now.” I looked back at Miss Love before I led him away.

* * *

 

 

                “Sir Integra, Captain Bernadotte, I thought I should bring something to your attention. Not a half hour ago did I request that you rethink your change in uniform for my apprentice because of the men here and already we have a situation. Captain I thought I made myself quite clear the last time this happened that you are to keep your dogs in check.” I stared him down.

                “Sir, I wasn’t doing anything. We were just talking and he tried to kill me!” the mercenary cried.

                “If I was going to kill you, you would be dead. I merely restrained you from putting your hands on my apprentice whom you had back into a wall,” I glared at him. “I believe some form of action must be taken here Mr. Bernadotte. Unless of course you’d rather I just kill this man for you?”

                “Excuse me? Is that a threat? No way, you don’t get to murder my men. If anyone sends this idiot to the grave it’s me!”

                “I have to agree, Walter. Killing him may be a bit excessive.” Sir Integra added. “However I understand your feelings. This sort of behavior is inexcusable and will not be tolerated. How would you like to proceed Walter? I could assign him to you for a week. I sure you and Melody could always use the help?”

                “I’d rather not have someone so incompetent on my shoulders, my lady. He’ll merely get in our way. However if it’s punishment you’re looking for then I do have an idea.” I glanced down at the man who, needless to say looked petrified.

                “We’re listening.” The Captain folded his arms.

                “Mr. Bernadotte do you know, historically, what has been the consequence of disobeying the orders of our Master?” I asked, unable to keep the smile off my face.

                “I’m afraid not,” he answered.

                “Imprisonment in the dungeon,” I said. “You see Captain we are quite a ways out from the city and drawing attention to ourselves with a police investigation is not in Hellsing’s best interest. We take care of our own problems. As I recall sexual assault can result in jail time. I admit that he has yet to lay a hand on the girls here, but I suggest we not wait for him to do so. Chain him up in one of the old cells for a few nights. I’m sure that will get the message through his thick skull.”

                “I have no objections. What about you, Captain?” Sir Integra asked.

                He heaved a large sigh and shook his head. “You people…alright fine. Chain him up for three nights.”

                “But Captain-”

                “I don’t want to hear another word.” He cut the solider off.

                “Very well then, the matter has been settled. You are dismissed.” Sir Integra reached for her cigar case.

                “Thank you, Ma’am.” I bowed.

                “Oh and Captain?” she called again for Mr. Bernadotte as I started to leave the room. ”I don’t think I need to tell you that this will be a standard for anyone who attempts to go after the two girls here.”

                “Yes, Sir.”

* * *

 

               

                When I knocked on Miss Love’s door she opened it immediately. I was glad to see her in her old uniform. “Yes, Master?”

                “Good, you’ve gotten yourself together. Let’s get to work. I’d like to reorganize the library today.” I motioned for her to follow.

                “Okay.” Her face lit up and she joined me at my side. Our steps quickly synchronized and I found myself glancing down at her. A smile on her face was such a welcome site, but that urge was back again, like a tingling sensation in my chest. I wanted to reach out to her, put my hand on her shoulder or something like that. Why? I shook my head. These were not things to be wondering about with her standing right there. Later, I could figure this out, not now.

* * *

 

               

                “Master?” Miss Love called. She wobbled towards me with a stack of books that was nearly as large as she was. “Where do these go?”

                I read the gold label of one of the books: _Encyclopedia of the Occult._ “Last rack on the far left, please.” I answered as I sorted through lose files. Some of these papers were nearly as old as I was.

                Suddenly a loud crack and thud echoed from the back of the library. The sound made me cringe. “Daft girl…” I strode down between the shelves and saw that one of them had fallen. Under it was a pile of books and what appeared to be one Miss Love’s legs sticking out.

                “Melody!” I threw the shelf to the side and started digging through the pile of books that covered her. When I uncovered her face she appeared to be unconscious. A large gash on her forehead had blood dripping down the side of her face. I scooped her up into my arms and ran to the nearest chair on the other side of the library where I laid her down. She seemed to be coming to, furrowing her brow and wincing slightly when I ran my hand along her forehead. “Oh thank God.” I whispered. My right hand trailed down her cheek. “That’s my girl, wake up.”

                “Walter?” her voice squeaked out. “What happened? My head hurts.”

                I placed my right hand on the back of her head and leaned her into me, using my left hand to brush her hair out of her face “You got yourself a nasty bump on the head is all. You’re going to be alright. We’ll stitch you up and you should be healed in a few days.”

                Instead of relaxing she tensed up and started hugging her abdomen. Her eyes that had been closed were now wide open in panic “Ah! Ah Walter it hurts!” She cried, tears starting to stream down her cheeks.

                “Where? Tell me where it hurts! Melody?”

                She couldn’t answer me. Her head leaned back and blood dripped out of the side of her mouth. “AHH!” Her back arched, grabbing on to my tie with one hand and the other continued to claw at her midsection.

                “There? Okay, keep breathing I’m gonna get you out of this!” I told her. I undid the buttons to her vest and opened it to find blood seeping through her white shirt. “My God…what’s happened to you?”

                She started coughing, throwing up one mouth full of blood after the other.

                “No, hold on! Stay with me! You’re going to be fine!” I unbuttoned her shirt and found shards of glass protruding out of her chest and stomach. ‘ _No, not glass…’_ There was too much of it. She would bleed out faster if I tried to remove it. There was no way! Again I pulled her into my arms and ran.. Where was everyone? Someone, there must be someone!

                “W-wal-t-er…” She reached up to me with her right hand that was covered in her blood. It locked around my neck and I lifted her up, letting her wrap herself around me.

                “Don’t worry I’m going to get help. Just keep your eyes open for me, dear.” I assured her as I heard more coughing and smelled fresh blood.

                “Why?” She whispered in my ear. “W-wh-y w-won’t y-yo-u hh-hel-p me?”

                All at once her arms and legs that had constricted themselves around me fell loose. I stopped mid step and held her back. Blood still dripped from the sides of her mouth but those eyes held no life in them.

                “No…open your eyes…please. Don’t say that…please. C’mon, Just look at me? Melody!”

                “Walter!”

                I jumped, gasped for air. When had I stopped breathing? Where was I? My eyes darted from my hands to my sides and then in front of me where Miss Love stood.

                “Walter it’s okay. You’re safe. Calm down.” Her hand was planted securely on my shoulder.

                I couldn’t speak, in fact I could barely breathe.  ‘ _Just a nightmare, just a nightmare.’_

“Walter, I want you to breathe, okay?” her eyes glowed. I felt a dizzy but my breathing slowed. My muscles relaxed. For the first time persuasion felt good, felt like relief, but as soon as the hyperventilation stopped she pulled back. The calming veil it offered was sucked away. Humiliation sunk in. I’d fallen asleep, this time while working. How could this situation possibly get worse?

                I looked to Miss Love and answered my own question. _If you died…_ Could I reach out, touch her, make sure she was real? No, that would be unwise. _Control yourself, Walter. You’ve been too lax with yourself recently. She is your apprentice. That is all._ But still, I wanted to. I wanted to feel the absence of glass.

                “Why don’t we go back to your room for a bit? I think we should have a chat about a few things,” she suggested. I didn’t want to talk about it. I didn’t want to describe how I saw her sister and now her violated every night on repeat. I didn’t want to tell her how glass carved its way out of her chest. I wanted to just…sleep. But despite all that I got up and followed her back to my room. I laid down on my bed. I was so tired. “Would you like me to help you get some rest? I can handle things myself for a while.”

                “Yes, miss.” I whispered, though I didn’t think I would have much trouble. Already my eyes felt heavy again. She kneeled down on the floor, our eyes met.

                “Walter, go to sleep.  You never saw any of it. It’s over.” Her voice sounded so soft. Her eyes began to glow again. They were beautiful. I reached for her hand. “It’s okay, sleep till you can’t remember anymore.” I wanted to watch her longer, stay inside the veil she created with her voice, but my eyelids shut. I sunk through my mattress ,into water. Floating.


	12. A New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walter wakes up in fog. Where are his memories and what did they contain? He must put these questions aside to celebrate New Years.

My alarm clock sounded at 5:00. I stretched, yawning. I couldn’t remember the last time I slept that--well…actually when had I gone to bed? I felt like something was missing, a huge blank space formed its edges in my mind. “Odd…” I said to myself and noticed the heap of clothes on the floor. That wasn’t like me to leave them wrinkled and thrown about. “Oh dear…I must have been exhausted.” I gathered the clothes and put them in my laundry bin. Miss Love would have to pick that up later…but wait. What day was it? I had no idea. What day had yesterday been? Just more blank space.

              The blackness of the memories didn’t fade while I showered or while I got dressed. Had I gotten hit on the head? Seemed fairly plausible considering how intense Miss Love and I could get during sparring practice but I didn’t think head injuries applied to vampires. When I entered the dining room Miss Love was sitting at the small table, scribbling away on a sheet of paper and sucking on a blood packet. Was she actually doing paperwork for a change?

              “Working already?” I teased. Her head shot up, her eyes wide, like a scared rabbit.

              “Good morning, sir,” she said without blinking.

              “What have you got that guilty look on your face for?” I reached for my cigarettes.

              “You just surprised me, sir.” She looked back down at her papers. “Did you sleep well, Master?”

              I flicked open my lighter and leaned into the flame. “Yes, Miss, quite well actually. Though I can hardly remember a thing about yesterday…I don’t suppose you’d know why?”

              “No, sir. We organized the library and you and I went for a walk last night, don’t you remember?” she asked.

              I thought about it, yes it was coming back to me now. The stars had been exceptionally bright. Not sure how I had managed to forget all that. “Yes, of course. What day is it, again?”

              “It’s December 31st, sir, a Sunday.”

              “Oh…right. We’re hosting the New Year’s party tonight aren’t we?” I looked to her for confirmation. She nodded. How had I forgotten that? I went to the fridge and pulled out a packet of A+ and bit through the plastic. I was surprised how hungry I was. It felt as though I hadn’t eaten in days, which was ridiculous of course. I had eaten…last night, yes of course, after we got back from out walk, I believe.

              We finished our breakfast in an unusual silence. She sat there drinking blood and occasionally cursing at the paper before her.

              “Shall I take that from you, Miss?” I offered with a small smile. Paperwork was simply not within her skillset. She glanced up at me with a pleading look in her eyes.

              “Please?” Miss Love offered me the paper and I took it, her hand brushed against mine and a flash of images, like an electric shock flashed across my eyes. I jumped back. “Sir?”

              “Forgive me, I saw…” But what had I just seen? What had those images been? I shook my head. Miss Love looked concerned, almost suspicious.

              “ _Saw_ what, Master?”

              “Nothing.” I waved it off.

              “You saw _Nothing_?” She repeated.

              “Yes Miss. Is there a problem?”

              “No of course not.” She turned away, that guilty look back on her face. And she dropped it there.

              I took a look at the clock on the wall. “My word, Is it that late already? We’d best get a move on. There’s much to do before the members of the round table arrive.” I stood up.

              She did not seem to share my urgency. “We’re ahead of schedule actually,” she said.

              “We are?”

              “Yes sir, I’ve taken care of almost everything.” She assured me.

              “Catering?”

              “To be delivered at two o’clock,” Miss Love answered.

              “Tree?”

              “Tossed into the back woods.”

              “Decorations?”

              “I’ve enlisted the Wild Geese to assist with that.”

              “Alcohol?”

              She looked up at me. “That would be the only thing left.”

              I fell back into my seat. “Miss, when did you get all this done?”

              “Yesterday.”

              “But we did the library yesterday,” I said.

              She paused, appearing almost taken off guard by that response. “After we did the library, sir. You tended to some paperwork you’d been neglecting and I saw to the party preparations.

              I thought about it for a moment. Yes, that did sound about right. It was awfully like me to leave such things to the last minute nowadays. It simply did not get more tedious. “Oh, yes, right. I cannot, for the life of me figure out why my memory is so full of holes,” I sighed.

              “It used to happen to me all the time,” she commented.

              “Really?”

              Miss Love nodded. “When it happened to me it was because I was stressed. That being said,” she continued, “It’s not like your brain stops making memories. I’m sure with some help and thought you’ll remember everything.”

              I waited a moment, looking at her. I had never considered that this job may be stressful for her. Or perhaps she was referring to a time before she worked here. “Was that when you were human?” I asked.

              She smiled and nodded. “Finals at university are a bitch.”

              That made me burst out laughing. “Yes, I can imagine, Miss.” But it was an odd thing to think about. I never considered what her human life might have been like. Did she miss it, like I did? She gave off the impression that that human girl she once was, was dead in body and spirit, she never talked about it. At least not while she was sober. Did she have friends? Ambitions? Certainly she must have had things she had wanted to do with her life. What about her family? What had they been like? I knew a little, the smashed cross necklace I still had in my desk was proof enough of a less than perfect life, but—my thoughts were caught off by a sudden throbbing in my skull. An image of a man, woman, and young girl came to mind. Who were they? I pinched the bridge of my nose, lowering my head.

              “Master, are you alright?”

              The throbbing subsided as quickly as it had come on. “Yes, head hurt for a moment there.” I looked back up. “Shall we get going miss? There are things we should see to before we head into town.”

              “Oh, yes sir.” She stood up and pushed in her chair.

              We proceeded to instruct the Geese on how to proceed while we were gone. My faith in them was not particularly strong. Hopefully Miss Victoria would keep them in line. We couldn’t afford to do the whole thing over if they screwed it up.

* * *

 

 

              In the car Miss Love was unusually quiet. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her arms crossed. Something was on her mind.

              “I’m quite impressed Miss,” I said, gaining her attention. “I couldn’t have pulled this off alone. I’m beginning to wonder how Hellsing even functioned without your assistance.”

              That made her smile. “Thank you, sir. I have to admit that I don’t fully know what I was doing.”

              “It took me many years to get everything down. Situations still arise in which I don’t know what to do, but as Hellsing butlers it is our job to take those challenges in stride and continue on.”

              “Really? You still don’t know everything about this place? You make it look effortless.”

              “Well, 99.9% of those situations involve a certain apprentice blowing up the kitchen, or nearly getting thrown in the dungeon.” I smirked.

              Out of the corner of my eye I could see her getting visibly flustered. “When are you going to let that go?” she demanded.

              “The dungeon? I’m getting there. The kitchen? Never.” I said with a smile. She let out an overdramatic sigh, sinking back into her seat. I chuckled lightly. She was too easy to get riled up sometimes. “Do you have the list?” I asked.

              Miss Love nodded and pulled a folded piece of paper from her jacket pocket. “A few different kinds of wine, stuff for cocktails, and beer for the Wild Geese.”

              “In other words we have to put with even worse behavior than usual,” I mumbled.

              “Oh, not to worry, Master, they have a strict two drink limit. That goes for everyone.”

              I nodded. At least there was that. “Well, the good news is you’ll be in a suit and tie so even if they sneak a few extra drinks I don’t believe it we’ll have a problem.”

              “Huh?!” She jumped forward in her seat. “B-but I bought a cute cocktail dress with Seras and everything! I have to wear a suit? Please reconsider!”

              I shook my head. “I’m afraid not, Miss. You and I have still have roles to uphold.”

              Another sigh escaped her lips. “Will I ever get to dress like a girl again? The world may never know.”

              I laughed, but I understood how frustrating it must be. We were the weapons, the help, the ones that would always be on the sidelines. I accepted that fate a long time ago, but for her, a young woman with an electric personality, it must be a difficult transition. We didn’t get days off, the chance to enjoy the world outside of Hellsing was essentially nonexistent. “Perhaps you and Miss Victoria could go out one night?” I suggested. “And I don’t mean to run errands.”

              “Really? You’d let me leave?” she asked.

              “Provided you keep up your recent good behavior with Sir Integra I don’t see why not.” We pulled up to the liquor store. I’d been coming here for nearly forty years. The owner and I were familiar with each other. I detested coming here now, or anywhere else that I used to shop for that matter. I was dead. Being spoken to like a twenty year old kid was obnoxious.

              “Let’s get this over with, Miss.” I turned off the car.

              “Do you want me to go in alone?” she asked. I considered it for a moment, but that didn’t seem feasible with how many things we needed to buy. As annoying as it was I’d get over it.

              I shook my head. “I’ll be fine.”

              We went inside. It was empty aside from the owner who stood by one of the shelves. He turned around at the sound of our entry and smiled. “Ah, if it isn’t Melody and Walter. Haven’t seen you two in nearly a month. Here for party supplies?” he winked.

              Miss Love stepped forward. “That’s right. It’s a big one tonight and we’ve certainly got our hands full.”

              “Looking for anything specific?” he asked.

              “Yes, we have a list.” She pulled out the piece of paper and unfolded.

              “Wonderful. I’ll fetch Peter from the back room and he’ll help you.” The old man disappeared into the back and returned with a boy no older than 19, his grandson. “Peter, you can help Melody while I assist Walter over here.” The boy nodded and approached Miss Love. She smiled and offered him the list. “Walter, my boy, come here a moment won’t you?” he motioned for me to join him over by the shelves of wine.

              “Yes, sir?”

              “Roger, boy, call me Roger.” He corrected. “We haven’t gotten much of a chance to speak the past few times you’ve been here. How have things been since your grandfather passed?”

              “Fine, thank you…” I paused. I’d known this man for many years. We’d been something close to friends. This felt wrong. “It’s been difficult,” I said, offering a tiny bit of truth, “but we’re managing.”

              He nodded in agreement. “That’s good to hear. Your grandmother has passed too has she not?”

              My mind scrambled back to the story Miss Love had woven for me. “Yes, two years ago now.”

              Again he nodded. “Damn shame. I never met your grandmother. Your grandfather never spoke of her either, but that was just like him wasn’t it? Such a secretive man, always kept to himself. Truth be told I still don’t know what it is he did for work.” Roger chuckled. “But that’s alright. He’s in a better place now.”

              I certainly had to wonder about that. “Yes, I’d say so.”

              “Are your parents still in America?” he continued with his questions.

              “Yes.”

              “Did they come back for the funeral?”

              Shit we hadn’t covered that one. “They did, briefly,” I said, “they had to return to New York shortly after, however.”

              “That’s too bad,” the old man sighed, turning towards the shelves and reaching for a few bottles. “But it’s not as if you’re alone now are you?” He placed them on the counter with a grin, his eyes looking past me. I looked over my shoulder to see that he was referring to Miss Love, who was still speaking with Peter. “Are you two close?”

              “Yes,” I answered “I’d say so.”

              “I remember when your grandfather brought her here the first time. I could tell from the get go that he was fond of her. But who wouldn’t be? She seems to be a real sweetheart.” He reached for another few bottles. “I’m sure he’d be thrilled to see you two together.”

              “Sorry?”

              “You are with her, are you not?”

              I was confused. “With her how?” and then it clicked. I felt red spread across my face. “No, no, nothing like that!” I corrected, struggling to maintain my composure.

              “Oh, forgive me.” Roger waved his hands. “I shouldn’t have assumed. Is she spoken for already then?”

              “Certainly not.” I answered, the embarrassment subsiding and anger creeping in. Miss Love was not dating anyone in Hellsing, and that fact would not be changing.

              Roger blinked, a look of confusion on his face. “Well then what are you waiting for?” he asked.

              “Excuse me?”

              “You heard me. You’d better get a move on before someone else sweeps her off her feet!” he exclaimed and then leaned in. “Listen here, lad, you don’t meet a girl like that often, and certainly not one that is as crazy about you as she is.”

              This was getting stranger and more confusing by the second. “I’m sorry there must be some mistake.” To hear this kind of nonsense from Alucard was one thing, but now this?

              “Walter, you mean to tell me that you haven’t noticed it all?”

              “Noticed what?”

              “Everything! Her body language, her tone of voice, the way she looks at you? She isn’t exactly subtle. I’ve seen you two together only a handful of times and even I can tell.” He motioned towards her. She was across the room, but caught us looking at her. She smiled. Thankfully, I didn’t think she could hear us.

              “No, I haven’t,” I said. “And I’m fairly certain that it’s not true either. We are close, yes, but I doubt that she would have feelings for me.”

              He sighed. “How can you be so sure?”

              I didn’t have an answer for that. My mind searched for a reason, definitive proof that it wasn’t possible and found nothing.

              “My advice, Walter, make a move soon. You’ll come to regret it if you don’t.” He smiled.

              I didn’t respond to him. I turned to look at Miss Love. “Found everything we need, Miss?”

              “Yes sir.” She joined me along with Peter. We paid for the alcohol and left, placing everything in the back of the car. “Are you alright, Master?” she asked when I started the car.

              I didn’t answer her right away. I was thinking. I had no proof, no argument against what he said, in fact the longer I thought about it I found the opposite. That night where she got drunk and kissed me stood out in my mind. And there was something else, a piece of the blackness in my memory. I had burst into the bathroom while she was in there, but why? I couldn’t remember. And afterwards...I felt myself gulp. I was not innocent in this feelings nonsense either, now was I? “I’m fine, Miss. It’s still a tad difficult to handle is all.” I said, which was true, but it was also no the current issue at hand. She could hear otherwise for sure. I had to change my train of thought quickly. I should focus on the day ahead of us. There was still plenty to do, no doubt. “Let’s hurry back.”

              Miss Love’s look of confusion was, in a moment, replaced by understanding. She sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. “Yes, sir.”

* * *

 

 

              I stuck my head in the kitchen to find Miss Love yawning while she washed dishes. I knocked on the door frame, gaining her attention.

              “Oh, Hello Master.” She gave me a tired smile.

I returned it and held up a bottle of wine. “Give the dish washing a rest till morning?”

              “Gladly,” She said, tossing the dish rag in her hands aside.

              We went to sit in our small dining room. I grabbed two glasses and we sat opposite each other at the table.

              “Well,” I sighed, pouring wine into our glasses, “I’d say that went rather well.”

              Miss Love nodded, taking her glass. “I didn’t know we were inviting so many people.” She leaned forward, resting her arms on the table. “I expected the round table, but not the others.”

              I chuckled, pulling out a cigarette and my lighter. “You’ll get used to it.”

              “I’m sure.”

              There was a pause. We drank in silence. It was only when she refilled our glasses that I broke it. “God, I’m such a light weight.” I could already feel the spreading warmth along my cheeks and the light airy feeling in my head.

              “Are you?” she laughed.

              “Oh without a doubt.” I smiled. “I remember when I turned 18, Arthur had tried to get me to drink before then but I refused,” I said, “anyways, he took me out to a pub and we got drinks. I was drunk before I finished my one.”

              Miss Love laughed quietly. “I’ve never heard you talk about Arthur before. Alucard will mention him from time to time, but I don’t really know anything about him. What was he like?”

              I thought for a moment. “Insufferable,” I said. “When he was younger, at least. Between the drinking and the whoring I wanted to kill him half the time! But then he met Sir Integra’s mother and everything changed. He stopped drinking, sealed away Alucard, and for a time stopped pursuing vampires all together. But again things changed.” I sighed. “She passed suddenly when Integra was still an infant and Arthur dove back into the occult, but swore that Alucard would remain sealed away, hopefully for the rest of eternity.”

              “How did he get free?” she asked.

              I frowned. “An accident. An oversight on my part. I had been warned about Arthur’s brother, that he would try to take Hellsing by force, and yet I trusted that she would be safe for an hour or so. I was wrong. She was going to be killed and I wasn’t there to stop it. What other choice did she have but to find Alucard?”

              Miss Love was silent. She was completely drawn in by the story. Perhaps I was saying too much. This wasn’t like me now was it? The thought barely registered as I took another sip of my wine. There was another break in our conversation. It was me who poured the next glass and she was the one who spoke up.

              “Are you sure you want to keep drinking?”

              I shrugged. “I drink once a year at most. It can’t hurt.” More silence. There were thing about her I wanted to know and the alcohol was loosening me up just enough to ask. “Miss, before all this, before Hellsing, what did you want to do with your life?”

              The question seemed to catch her off guard. Her eyes widened and then she looked down, a sad smile spreading across her face. “A psychologist, I wanted to be a psychologist.”

              That made a whole world of sense, not that I was sober enough to put it together in the moment. “You wanted to be a counselor of some sort?”

              “Not quite,” she shook her head. “Part of me was interested in that but I wanted to work in the field, do research and explore more about the mind!” she exclaimed, a sudden excitement coming over her. “There’s so much still unknown about the human brain. Why do we dream? Why do we require so many hours of sleep? Stuff like that. I wanted to be the one to uncover the answers!”

              I smiled and listened to her go on. So this was where her passion resided.  It was fascinating to watch her, but also it was a shame. This dream of hers would never be realized. She seemed to come to the same conclusion and stopped suddenly, returning her eyes to her glass.

              “What about you, Master? What did you want to do?”

              “Me? Oh, I don’t know. I was awfully young when I joined Hellsing, just barely twelve years old.” I waved the question off, but then found myself thinking about it. “Maybe a gunsmith or maybe…” I trailed off. There was something else, I realized, something I had forgotten. I smiled. “Maybe, I would have reopened my father’s book shop.”

               “A book shop?” she repeated.

              “Yes.” I nodded. “It was the family business before the war.”

              “There’s nothing saying that you can’t still do that.” She leaned forward further.

              I chuckled at that, “My dear, I’m afraid that everything says that I can’t.”

              Her face flushed noticeably red. “I don’t think so. When Sir Integra dies we can do as we wish. I could travel the world if I wanted, you could open your book shop.”

              Her optimism was cute, but it was just that, misplaced optimism, though I was much too drunk at this point to see it. Her suggestion almost sounded plausible when she put that way. “Would you come with me?” I asked.

              “O-of course I would!”

              I smiled. “Wouldn’t that be nice…never figured you for someone that cared for books.”

              She shrugged. “I used to read when I was human, from time to time.”

              “What did you like to read it?” I asked, leaning on my hand.

              She grinned down into her wine glass. “You’ll tease me.”

              “No I won’t.”

              “Swear?”

              “Swear.”

              She shifted around in her seat. “I like to read romance novels.”

              “You’re serious?”

              Miss Love nodded. I chuckled lightly under my breath. “Aren’t you full of surprises, as always?”

              “And you, do you read?” she asked.

              “You’ve seen my collection haven’t you?” I asked. She shook her head. “Come here, I’ll show you.” I got to my feet, swaying a bit and motioned for her to follow.

              Getting back to my room was comical. I tripped several times as did Miss Love. We were laughing, forced to lean on each other till we got there.

              “Shhh.” Miss Love hushed me while we walked down the hall, but she wasn’t exactly being quiet herself with her giggling. “What if Alucard hears us?”

              “Fuck him.” I waved my hand dismissively. “I couldn’t care less when it comes to that asshole.”

              We arrived at my room and I lead her inside. To the right of my bed were two book shelves. I hadn’t gotten myself a book in quite some time, not since right after the mission where I had rescued Miss Love. I would probably need a new bookshelf if I started again. “This is it.” I smiled. “The result of many years book collecting.”

              “These are all quite old,” she noted, leaning over.

              “Well so am I.”

              “I meant older than you.” She laughed and gave me a playful shove. She crossed her arms and looked down, her face was flushed red again. “Perhaps we could go to a book shop sometime and add to your collection.”

              My eyes were drawn slightly downwards for a moment. She had abandoned her suit jacket and tie long ago. Her shirt was unbuttoned by three, showing off enough cleavage to be eye catching. “Yes, I’d like that…”

              “Master? What were you and Roger talking about?” she asked suddenly. A nearly full moon peaked out from behind some clouds, lighting her figure up in the dark room.

              My mouth suddenly went dry. Had she always been this beautiful? I thought of the morning we watched the sunset, how she looked when she first came to Hellsing. Yes, I decided, she had. “You,” I admitted.

              Melody smiled. “Thought so. It’s funny right? To get mistaken as a couple?” a poor attempt at laughter escaped her lips.

              “I don’t think it’s funny,” I said, stepping closer to her and running my hand along her cheek. She leaned into it. “I’m a fool for not seeing it sooner.”

              “Sir?”

              I didn’t respond, instead I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers. Her whole body stiffened but only for a moment before her arms wrapped around my neck. One of my hands found her waist while the other pulled the ribbon out of her hair, allowing my fingers to get tangled in it. It was soft, something I’d never thought about. I missed so many textures with gloves on. I had the sudden urge to know what she felt like.

              Our kiss deepened and we fell back into my bed. I broke away to breathe and hovered over her. My hand trailed from her cheek to her neck.

              “Master, tell me, what is it you want?”

              It came out without thinking. “You,” I answered.

              She reached up and run her thumb along my cheek and then moved down, gripping my tie and pulling me back down. This was the only thing that made sense right now. I wanted to be close to her, as close as I could get. This is what I had wanted for months now.

              When I sat up again I tossed my vest and then my tie to the side. She reached up to help me unbutton my white shirt. I grinned and threw it with the other clothes. I focused my attention on her shirt while I leaned down to kiss her neck. It felt like the right thing to do in the moment.

              “Master,” she moaned.

              “My name, Melody, use my name. It’s been so long since I heard you say it,” I whispered.

              “Walter.”

              I smiled against her skin and pulled open her shirt. I pulled her close and felt her skin against mine. She was so soft. We resumed our kiss and fought to get out of the rest of our clothes.

              “Melody--” I said, when we were down to only our underwear.

              She placed her finger against my lips and gave me a wordless nod.

              I pulled her panties to the side and held on to her hips as I started to push forward, entering her slowly. “Fuck!” I cursed, my eyes shut tight. She grasped one of my hands tightly, saying my name quietly. “Almost, we’re almost—there!” and then I was inside. “Melody, oh, my dearest,” I moaned.

              She pulled me back down and held on to me tight, wrapping her legs around me as I started to move my hips. “Walter, ah!” she cried. I couldn’t stop myself, I moved faster holding on to her as I went.

              I didn’t last long. I came before she could and then could barely move, but still we held on to each other. She ran her hands through my hair while I panted her name.

              When my breathing calmed down I pulled out. I fell beside her and held my arms out. She placed her head on my chest and pulled a sheet up around us. “I love you,” she said, almost too quietly for me to hear.

              “Me too.” I muttered, exhaustion creeping in. I fell asleep holding her, listening to her breathe.

* * *

 

 

**January 1 st, 5:30 AM**

**Seras Victoria’s P.O.V.**

 

              “That’s enough for tonight, police girl.” Master called stopped me as I finished off a group of targets.

              “Well they didn’t exactly put up much of a fight.” I placed my hands on my hips and yawned. Bed time was pretty much here. The sun would rise soon.

              “Then you’d best hope for assignment.” Master said as he started to fade away. “Good night, police girl.”

              I swung my gun over my shoulder and started back to the estate. Maybe Melody would be up by now and we could chat before I went to bed.

             

              I looked to see if there were lights on when I walked by her room and sure enough she was up. I grinned and knocked once before opening it and stepping inside. “Morning sunshine, sleep we—” I stopped short when I saw her. She was curled up, up against the wall, in only her bra and underwear. She looked up at me like a scared rabbit. Red tears were flowing down her cheeks.

              “Seras?”

              “My God!” I rushed over to her. “What’s happened to you Melody? Did someone hurt you?”

              She looked away, tears still falling. She spoke in short gasps and hiccups. “It was an accident.”

              “Mel, tell me what happened.” I tried to get her to look at me.

              She shook her head. “We got drunk and, and it wasn’t supposed to happen like this!” she sobbed.

              “Who? Tell me who.” She only continued shaking her head and cry. I pulled her close and and tried to quiet her. “Shhh it’s okay. You’re okay.”

              “D-don’t tell Walter that I’m like this,” she said.

              I thought I was beginning to understand. That was one request I could not fulfill. If anyone needed to know it was her master.

              “Okay, okay. I need to go for one second okay? Just for a second.”

              “Please don’t go!” Mel pleaded, latching on to me.

              “I’ll only be gone a second, umm…” I looked around the room and saw her button down shirt. I draped it around her. “Put this on okay? I’ll be right back.”

              She nodded. I left and closed the door behind me.

* * *

 

 

**January 1 st 5:50 AM**

**Walter C. Dornez’s P.O.V.**

 

              I woke up with a hangover. “Fuck,” I groaned. This was why I didn’t drink. I sat up and noticed that I was only in my pants and I was freezing. I got up and threw a shirt on along with a pair of trousers. It was New Years Day, wasn’t it? No one would be getting up for quite some time. I could afford another hour or two of sleep.

              My clothes were all thrown about. “I’d better not make this a habit,” I said to myself. One of the articles of clothing wasn’t mine. I reached down and picked up Miss Love’s ribbon and it all came flashing back.

              I covered my mouth with my hand. No, that had to be a dream, she left this here by accident. We didn’t, I didn’t, I would never.

              There was a knock on the door, it was loud and forceful. Shit. Was it her? What would I say? I waited a few moments and the knocking came again. I shoved her ribbon in my pocket and opened the door a bit. To my surprise, and my relief, it was Miss Victoria.

              “Yes, Miss Victoria? What can I do for you?” I asked, trying not to stumble over my words.

              “It’s Melody. I think someone’s hurt her.”

              My heart fell into my feet and shattered. God, what had I done? “Bring me to her.”

              Seras nodded and led me to Miss Love’s room. She knocked on the door. “Mel, it’s me.”

              A weak sounding “Come in.” came from the other side. Seras opened the door and I stepped inside. Her eyes grew wide. “M-Master, I, um—” she covered her face. The sight of her broke my heart. I did this? I thought I might be sick.

              “Walter, I think we both know who did this,” Seras said firmly.

              I looked over my shoulder. “Unfortunately, I think we do.” I hurt her, one of the people most precious to me. That could not be overlooked.

              “Brian won’t get away with this, this time. I promise you.”

              I stared at her for a moment in shock. She didn’t know that it was me? I turned back to Miss Love. “Yes, well, would you leave us for a moment, Seras. I’d like to speak to her alone.”

 “I don’t know if Mel would be—”

              “It’s okay, Seras.” Miss Love spoke up.

              “Are you sure?” she asked.

              Melody nodded in return.

              “Okay, well I’ll be back in ten minutes okay?”

              We both nodded. The door closed behind her and I walked up to her and slid down the wall on her left side. “Why didn’t you tell me to stop?” I asked, my voice was quiet and shaking. “Why didn’t you tell me you didn’t want it?”

              She shook her head. “But I did.” The words came out as a squeak. “Just not like that. I thought that I would be okay, no matter how it happened, but I—” the tears started again. “I wanted it to be different.”

              Yes, for her this was about love. And what about me? What were my feelings? There was lust, I could no longer deny that. As much as I wished it wasn’t true the girl sitting next to me was living proof. But was love there too? Truthfully, I didn’t know.

              “Forgive me, Miss.”

              “Please call me Melody.”

              I hesitated for a moment. “Melody, please forgive me. I never wanted to hurt you.”

              She cracked a smile. “Don’t apologize. It was an accident.”

              I felt something well up in my chest, that familiar urge to hold her. I reached out. She did not pull away as I brushed her hair behind her ear. “Is there any way I can help you?” I asked.

              Melody turned to look at me and nodded. “Close your eyes.” I did so. I half expected her to slap me, but instead I felt her lips press against mine. It surprised me, but still I kissed back, lightly.

              “Is that really all you wanted?” I smile. She returned a weaker version of it. I placed my arm around her shoulder and leaned her head on to me. “My dear, do you really want to waste your eternity on me?”

              “I think it’s the only way I won’t waste it.”

              I smirked. Eternity? I suppose that gave us just enough time to work this out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while hasn't it? I'm so so so sorry for the wait! I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you to everyone who has decided to stick with this story! I can't give you an answer on the next chapter since I have two other fics and a senior project to write. I appreciate your patience and occasional nudges to get to work.   
> Ryo


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